What they thought

What they thought

A Story by Nix is typing...
"

I dunno, I got super bored, so I decided to write this.

"
Her: I wonder what he's doing
Him: I wonder what she's doing
Her: I bet he's not thinking about me
Him: I bet I haven't even been on her mind
Her: I watched him walk into my store today
Him: My heart pumped faster the moment I saw her
Her: He ran straight to the bathroom, huh, guess he just came here for that
Him: I freaked out so badly when I saw her dark brown hair and tan skin
Her: *Scans customers items* I can't stop thinking about him
Him: I can't stop thinking about her
Her: He looks taller, handsomer than before...
Him: *throws water on his face, stares at self in mirror* She looks so beautiful, why did I ever let her go?
Her: I miss him
Him: I miss her, I bought a pack of gum just to talk to her
Her: He came to my register today
Him: I asked her how she was
Her: I lied, and said I was fine
Him: She sounded happy, I asked her how it was going with her new boyfriend
Her: I'd rather have him back, than have who I'm with now
Him: I told her I still loved her
Her: if I kept looking at him, I was going to cry, I know he didn't mean it
Him: She couldn't even look me in the eye, I meant every word I said
Her: God, he's cute, that smell, those eyes...
Him: She loves her new boyfriend, he makes her happier than I ever could have
Her: I love him, it's him, it's always been him
Him: She gave me a friendly hug today
Her: I squeezed him tight, and got to breathe in his scent one last time, god, I love him, I want him back
Him: I cried on the way home
Her: When my shift ended, I cried in my car
Him: I lost her forever...
Her: I'll love him 'till the day I die...

© 2021 Nix is typing...


My Review

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Featured Review

I love this unique take on storytelling, it's great when people can try new things, I'm always trying to do new things myself. It reads very real, I have certainly been on both sides of that conversation. Now it just reminds me of the dalliances of youth. Good write.

Posted 1 Week Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Nix is typing...

1 Week Ago

Thank you so much for this review! ❤️



Reviews

This sounds pretty realistic to me. I was a very poor player in that game of romance, and you reveal why. With all the doubts, confusion and missed messages, how can anyone ever choose the right kind of mate? An enjoyable read--it made me smile a couple of times.

Posted 4 Days Ago


Nix is typing...

4 Days Ago

I'm so glad you could relate!! And I'm happy it made you smile, thank you for your review, Samuel!!
Me while reading this: JUST TALK ABOUT YOUR FEELINGS ALREADY!!!! lmao
A user commented that this is a unique take on storytelling and I agree. It reminds me of books that feature the pov of both main characters - letting us know how they've experienced a certain scenario and this is exactly that, just a different take. I loved it. Wish they can read one another's mind and realize that they f*****g love one another!!!!!!

Posted 1 Week Ago


Nix is typing...

1 Week Ago

Lol, I love that reaction and I love those kinds of books!!! I honestly thought about a post I saw o.. read more
Great job telling a fulsome story using a back-and-forth of two people's thought streams. This starts out a little shallow & mundane, just two people being stuck on each other without much sparkle or detail to differentiate this scene from the other million poems about two people being stuck on each other. But about one-third of the way thru, your plot begins to thicken with some action & lying & being tormented, etc. The last two-thirds shows a well-developed ricochet of thought streams, nicely tangled, contrasting, ironic (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

Posted 1 Week Ago


Nix is typing...

1 Week Ago

Thank you, Miss Margie!! As always I very much appreciate this review!! It makes me feel really happ.. read more
This reminds me a lot of "This Masquerade" by George Benson:
https://youtu.be/j9W0g3NGSj4

I don't understand why she doesn't trust him when he says he still loves her. It seems like there's a lot more to the story, a reason the communication broke down like this.

Posted 1 Week Ago


Nix is typing...

1 Week Ago

I'm glad I made you think! Thanks for your review!
This reads more as a play then a story. There is no description but straight to words.
Needless to say I like it though. very nicely written.

Posted 1 Week Ago


Nix is typing...

1 Week Ago

Huh, I've never really thought about it as a play. I like the way you see it! Thanks for your review.. read more
I love this unique take on storytelling, it's great when people can try new things, I'm always trying to do new things myself. It reads very real, I have certainly been on both sides of that conversation. Now it just reminds me of the dalliances of youth. Good write.

Posted 1 Week Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Nix is typing...

1 Week Ago

Thank you so much for this review! ❤️
Dam that hits real, super well written and I love the aspect of both perspectives!

Posted 1 Week Ago


Nix is typing...

1 Week Ago

Thanks, bt. :3 Always a pleasure getting good reviews from my best friend xD

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7 Reviews
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Added on January 13, 2021
Last Updated on January 16, 2021

Author

Nix is typing...
Nix is typing...

Athens, GA



About
Uh, what can I say? I'm turning eighteen this year, which is terrifying. I love writing, and I love getting reviews on said writing. Whenever I'm not busy working on something for school or readin.. more..

Writing