When will it be enough

When will it be enouph?

You've made your point clear.

You are scared, as am I.

But just remember that we are still here.

We are still alive.

We still have a fighting chance.

You may have given up hope, but I have not.

I will see you through the end.

But I don't know what the limits are.

You do.

When I was younger, you would tell me to not be a push over.

To not cry over simple matters.

That a girl cannot do a man's job.

You told me that last one just this morning.

But life is a "man's" job.

Life is hard, it's tiring, it's unsettling.

But we do it anyway.

Our family has been destroyed and put back together more times than I can count on my fingers.

I have seen other families fall apart, and I wonder, will that be us?

Will we be the next victim?

I asked you today, when will it be enough?

Where do we draw the line?

How far are you willing to go before you finally break?

You didn't answer the question.

You didn't have to.

I already know the answer.

There is no line to cross.

It will never be enough.

We will never be satisfied until we can say that everything is alright without having to lie.

Did you know that I hate lies.

Which is ironic because I tell them all the time.

I lie to you, I lie to my teachers, and I lie to myself.

But, in truth, I don't want to have to lie anymore.

I want it to be enough.

Will it ever?

Author's Note

Thanks for redaing :)

Reviews

[Karmee]

Such an emotional struggle you are going through. I am so sorry for your struggles

[R.E. Ray]

Emily, this poem is gut-wrenching. I have a daughter. Her name is Emily. Years ago, I might have heard these words from her. Not now. Our family prevailed, despite my flaws, her mother's flaws and years of bad circumstances. I'll never say "lying" is the right thing to do, but it's what parents do sometimes to conceal their failures and shortcomings. We want to model the behavior we desire for our children, and sometimes we forget lies and deceit, even done with good intentions, undermine that goal.

The most important thing to have in sufficient quantity is unconditional love. It will carry you and your family through even the worst times. And, if you don't want "to lie anymore," don't. Model the behavior you demand for yourself and from your father. Life isn't a "man's job," it's just life. It's beautiful, ugly, happy, sad, and most importantly, it goes on.

Keep writing. It's cathartic, and it's a gift to others.

[Faust]

Thank you for these words. I will follow your advise.

[barleygirl]

This is so intelligently stated, it's a refreshing change from some of the more unstructured rants that may be posted every so often at the cafe. I understand why some need to pour out their pain in writing at times. But as a consumer of writing, ultimately I want to be challenged by some new way of seeing or thinking about some commonplace situation. To me, this reveals an uncommon voice coming from a near-adult child & it gives me a chance to get inside this young person's head so I can understand such feelings in a way that I never had imagined before (in spite of having an abusive childhood myself, long ago). I am the total opposite, as far as how I would approach this situation, but you present your point of view so effectively, I easily suspend my own opinions so I can know more about how this is going down for this narrator (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie