'special'

'special'

A Poem by Faust

I hate being treated like I'm unable to do the smallest task.
Teachers are spoon feeding me information because I'm in a 'special' class.
I have special teachers.
I have a special schedule.
I have special requirments that others must meet because I can't do them on my own.
There is nothing special about me.
So what if I can't read or write as fast as the class?
So what if sometimes my thoughts run away from me?
I don't care if I speak with a stutter or words are on the tip of my tongue but I don't know how to say them.
I've gotten around these struggles before high school.
Then suddenly they feel that I should be thrown in and told that I have a disability?
I'm not disabled. 
Sure, I shut down sometimes. 
I get frustrated with myself because I'm not as fast or smart as my peers.
It hurts when they physically can't understand what I'm trying to say.
And it's embarassing to walk around my school getting odd looks.
I blink alot, I flop my head, I grunt in the back of my throat, my hands are always twitching.
And I think it scares people.
I don't like this life but it's the one I've been given.
So I gotta make do

© 2020 Faust


Author's Note

Faust
This is just me venting lol. Sorry about that. I did have an amazing special ed teacher though for the past 3 years. She was very involved in my personal life. When she found out about my dad's arrest, she offered to go to my school concerts as well as my sister's because my dad wasn't available anymore. When she found out about my mom being diagnosed with cancer a few months later, she got together with a few teachers and they offered to make meals for my family because my mom was always tired and sick. She was truely the best teacher and she invited me to lunch once this pandemic is over. I'm looking forward to that :)

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Added on May 24, 2020
Last Updated on May 24, 2020

Author

Faust
Faust

Sun Prairie, WI



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I'm back! I don't think anyone noticed that I closed my account for a short time though lol. Basically my sister was messing with my computer and it screwed up my account more..

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