11:11, Make A Wish

written 6/8/10

Broken and dejected lying on my bedroom floor

Wishing I could change this 

But knowing that I can't anymore

It's far too gone and I'm far too late 

Nothing I do will fix this mistake 

Love I'd give anything to make this go away

But it's done and you're gone

I saw I was falling too far for you 

Caught up in what I thought I knew

Now I've  made my lonely bed

Oh, just let me rest my head

It's far too gone and I'm far too late 

Nothing I do will fix this mistake 

Love I'd give anything to make this go away 

But it's done and you're gone 

Your voice is still ringing in my ears

My heart still believes that you're here

But when I open my eyes it'll all disappear 

Cause it's done and you're gone

Broken and rejected lying on my bedroom floor

Wishing I could change this 

But knowing that I can't anymore 

I fell too far for you 

Reviews

[Matthew Ian Herrawood W]

This could easily be a song. i hear it as a slow song theres a couple of things i would change to mak it flow a little easier. in the 5th stanza 2nd line i would take out the word 'that' it still means the same thing just flows a little better in my opinion. now and then there is a line tat could use a comma or be broken into two lines also to make it flow better but i like this ad know the feeling. nice job

[Call It A Day]

And even though I haven't actually believed in it since I was a kid, I still make wishes at 11:11! I loved being innocent way back when.

[Call It A Day]

I love the "too far" image that is present throughout this poem and life in general. Repetition has always been the strongest suit in poems, for me, and it reminded me that being "broken and rejected" is not just a single event, but one of life's many recurrences. I suppose some may find that too sad, but I thrive on honesty and this poem is filled with it.