Outside

I'm so tired of trying to get close to people and being shut out and forgotten. I'm not some stupid little girl you can just abuse because you have no one else.

I hate this

I feel like screaming

But I have no outlet  to stop it

Maybe I should move away

Get a clean slate

And all these feelings would vanish

Forget it all

Forget everyone I've ever known

Make new acquaintances 

Cause that's as close as they'll ever come

Just keep my distance 

Cause it's easier than trying to fight it

I'm tired of being shut out

Of being forgotten about

And plagued by doubt

Day after day 

All I'm doing is wasting away

I'm through here

With all these stupid people

Who I thought loved me

But only want me 

Because they can't have anyone else

So they use me and abuse me

While I try to get closer

But it's a waste of my energy 

They like to tease me with hope that maybe

They wont let me down

So they can go ahead 

And disregard me

Cause i'm not afraid of dying alone

It wont be any different from the life

That I am currently living

Reviews

[SoulCrusader (Yas)]

" I'm not afraid of dying alone
Cause it wont be any different from the life
That I'm currently living"

that ending just is so perfect that took my breath away to a great self-reflective piece that makes sense of the small and the bigger picture, or atleast tries to, that's what anyone can ever do.

Brilliant :)

[Chris Taylor]

OOOh, some great raw emotion here. I love the line: "The like to tease me with hope that maybe they won't let me down."
That was a killer line. I think everyone can relate to the message of this piece. Good write. Keep on penning!

[sue]

It's great the way you can express your inner feelings. Sometimes that's half the battle. I guess everyone finds themselves on the out side looking in at different times in their lives. And if you have a need to come in out of the cold, this need will be exploited. So it seems to me this poem is about the need to love and the way it makes us vulnerable. The answer to the problem is to keep loving anyway. Nice write.

[These Haunted Hallways]

Wow, yeah, i feel this way a lot, too. This was a really great vent here. People tell me the same thing: "Oh, you're still young yet, everything will be alright," and so forth. Well, im not getting any younger, and all i do is hope, pray, and wish that things will change for the better. It's such a pain-staking long process for me, that it's like watching paint dry or something. My life's almost complete, but, Im still waiting for that day when everything will be "perfect" for me, but until then, i just repeat the steps above =/ Great piece tho, very good job! :)

M.

[prodicallife]

Megan
This is something i think the only thing in life that at particular time seems to be very cozy and comfrtable as the Sun moves down time passes on the real essence comes out. Some people are like a pan of shield glass they very loud with the rising son but will never let you peep inside even by the Sun moves down....

AAh! i am moved i guess you must have noticed that with the words i spoke above.
and one more thing i usually perform an excercise when i am nervous or tensed...i just gather all my negative enrgy and scream out all of them at the max. of my pitch.....
i know it`s something insane but i guess if you start thinking about each and everything you peform daily you wouldn`t be able to find a valid reason behind it.....hahahahahaha....:D
try it once......lol.....people will call you crazy so kindly do it when you are alone...:P:P:P:P

Regards
PRODICAL

[Grakercub]

"I'm tired of being shut out
Of being forgotten about
And plagued by doubt
Day after day
All I'm doing is wasting away"

this poem is really solid, but this seems to be the best part of it when you move in to some kind of rhyming format. Maybe I'm just into rhyme a lot more these days, but this seems like it'd be a really cool way to go with the poem. could turn it into something even more beautifully distraught.

[...]

Nice use of rhyme and slant rhyme in some parts, help with the flow of the poem. The message behind it is raw and true, I enjoyed this. Perhaps read over it again and just fix the few grammatical or spelling mistakes? Regardless, great work.

[Andreisfree]

...reflections of life - reflected in poems...i feel the rawness of this...unfinished and raw...it's how we all feel inside at times...keep writing...

[C.M.]

When I read other's poems, I try and find things that stick or stand out to me, and this did exactly that! I love this part especially:
"I'm tired of being shut out
Of being forgotten about
And plagued by doubt
Day after day 
All I'm doing is waisting away",
There is something about it that just reaches out to me.
Overall the poem is tragic, yet with this odd sense of beauty! I am usually not one for free-styled poetry, but, like I said, you managed to keep this beautiful. This is a good piece of art.
-C.M.

, something about that

[Chris]

Hi... this is the first of yours I've seen. Do you want comments or reviews? What FLOATS your boat and what SLASHES and SMASHES it and your psyche beyond repair? How about a mix then - with no meanness or bite... I liked what you had to say and you DID say it. (Takes thought to be understood.) Of course there is always an Ooops or three along the way - we're human and shyt happens - you want details ask and you'll be given.

Take care,
Chris

[joshua deathdealer]

The stand alone complex!! I love it. Stand up for yourself and never ever let anyone push you around. The fourth stanza really stood out to me because it is so very true..I really enjoyed this read. Well done...xx