Disappearance

Where art thou, my fallen soldier?

My heart beats fast within my chest

As I look out, over this battered battle field

The air smells of death and the toils of war

Oh where, oh where, art thou?

Heaven help me, I am losing my breaths

They come out forced and shallow

Vision foggy and blackened around the edges

Where are you?--oh God, save your soul!

But nay--you can't have expired--so soon, at least

You are too strong of both spirit and body

No, not even evil's wrath could have defeated you...

...Then where are you?...

...My one and only love?

 

Author's Note

A free-verse sequel (of sorts) to 'Hail'. I expect to write an iambic pentameter version of this at some point. For now, it's quite rough. I hope you enjoy it. If you have any ideas for the sonnet version, feel free to share. :-)

Reviews

[Yellow Butterfly]

You're words allow the reader to feel the atrocities and heart ache that war can bring. The feeling of not knowing if a loved one is alive or dead. Roaming the fields of devastation hoping and praying for his safetys as he lays dying on the battlefield.

I like the way you have penned this wonderful poem, and I'm sure your version of a sonnet will be just fine.

Great work!

[ravenjess]

this is great. i cant wait to see what you do with the rhyme and meter. good luck (:

[V]

I like the yearning in this poem like a desperate yell of someone who misses and is afraid. the language you use and the words create a special tone, sounds almost like a speech. def a poem you could recite aloud in front of people ;) I enjoyed reading :)

[Shy Girl]

Woes of love :) Very nice poem you have wrote. The yearn that seeps and the hope that springs out, are very relatable (not so much that as felt strongly) It's almost as if the reader is saying this outloud, and not reading it in their head. (Hope that made sense to you) I enjoyed this piece, can't wait for the sonnet version :)

[KAREN]

Gives the reader a sense of yearning and sadness. Great flow and well written!

[Bridget Murphy]

It's is soo beautiful ful of longing and sadness, another favorite.! :)

[KATHY SUE SILLS]

Brilliant, creativity here! Your words express sadness and sorrow for a lost love. This is written well! Love the historic feel to it!

[Tina Kline]

A tragic situation that keeps repeating itself throughout human history...this historical feel to it. I like it, I think you did a good job on this.

[emma]

wow. amazing, i loved it.

[Sylvana]

I love the words you used, such as "nay" and "where art thou", but that is because I love shakespeare's language. good job.