Stains

Stains

A Poem by AJNJ
"

She was but a stain...

"

Blotted ink 

excitement 

scrawl 

crowns of Queens 

shall rise then 

fall 

upon the Concorde 

of revolution 

under tricolored 

strain 

where the gluttony 

of excess clashed 

with 

the hungers of 

pain 

and the deficit 

of morality 

blinkered 

by 

zeal 

sharpened 

by lies 

and the 

bloodlust 

of 

steel 

severed head 

from a shoulder 

slicing sinew 

and 

vein 

spilling Claret 

ever flowing 

to a 

massed 

human 

stain

© 2020 AJNJ


Author's Note

AJNJ
Inspired by Ms. Jamila’s amazing writing!

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Lol! Copyright alert! I shall ring my lawyer quite soon! This is a brilliant poem, Monsieur P! The stains of the last Queen of France! Her reign began with a stain and ended with one, too, and the country fell into uncivilised revolution thereafter. You have painted a picture of her reign with great clarity and brevity. The stain of her blood after her execution shall forever remain a stain on my country. Its a wonderful idea, and i dare say you have done the unique style of this poet justice! Lol. Glad to have inspired such a write of excellence as this. Very well done, dear P! Take a bow, lest I take off your head for infringement! :)))

Posted 5 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

AJNJ

5 Months Ago

Thank you Madame. I came across an interesting item about her and thought hey it’s from France so .. read more
AJNJ

5 Months Ago

Merci beaucoup and please do spare this poor poet’s head! :)



Reviews

she was a stain but stains are important too, history is full of them
and yet... history often repeats itself.

solid poem, P.

Posted 4 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

AJNJ

4 Months Ago

Thank you very much! Had really wanted to write this one so I’m thrilled you appreciate!
I did not read Jamila's poem yet so i will do that next:) so i guess im going in reverse its funny tho one of my nicknames for her is liberty:) I'm guessing that she wrote a poem about Marie Antoinette:? well regardless this poem stands alone and i like the flow of this free verse and I am left wonder who bears those stains

Posted 4 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

AJNJ

4 Months Ago

The guillotine that fell on Antoinette’s head...it bears the stains...of many things that were wro.. read more

spot on sir... well poemed and a credit to both of em..

Posted 4 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

AJNJ

4 Months Ago

Thanks sir. This was a tough piece to tackle. So your kind words are greatly appreciated.
Jamila does indeed amaze us with her skilled poetry and I'm not at all surprised that she inspired this write. Perfectly penned. The French Queen certainly met a grisly end. The revolution a terrible period in French history. Did she ever say 'let them eat cake'? So the peasants revolted and it was surely a revolting episode, a stain certainly. Great read Pestonjee.

Chris

Posted 4 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

AJNJ

4 Months Ago

Tried to write on a historical figure for a change. I was very intrigued by a recent item I read on .. read more
Christine Anne Shaw

4 Months Ago

Thank you for that :)
This queen is perhaps the most famous beheaded queen in history. Even more than an English queen who was beheaded by her king. I think she was unthinking but didn’t deserve death for it. Her killing was of course a stain. A nice poem inspired by Jamila.

Posted 4 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

AJNJ

4 Months Ago

Thank you so much Ms. Pearly. I agree her execution was tragic.
well, yes, she is amazing and an inspiration to all of us...Ms. Jamila is.

Okay, I went in my own direction with this piece...it reminds me of the sixties....the "she" here for me is the movement...the steel introduced is the hard metal of the music but also the coldness of capitalism that eventually saw the movement die out...and hippies became yuppies...and there was a stain of regret that it all died out...yet some of us still have those same ideals...we are just buried in retrospect.
excellent poem which can trigger such individual responses.
j.

Posted 5 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

AJNJ

5 Months Ago

I loved where you went with this sir! Indeed steel was so ubiquitous in its role in shaping history... read more
Apart from her many infractions I believe the Petite de Hameau (correct spelling??) can be attributed to her and they are quite beautiful
Was cake eaten there

Posted 5 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

AJNJ

5 Months Ago

Yes yes cake was a staple there sir 😀 In fact she was kind of hard selling it even in the recessi.. read more
Dave Brown

4 Months Ago

My pleasure
enjoyable read
Well well well! Writing about queens now Pestonjee! I read this with much interest and certainly it seems not like your usual writing style here. It’s definitely more elegant, restrained and astutely done. You did a great job of observing my friend and favourite poetess Jamila here. She’s really really good. The story here is also very interesting. I’ll be reading up on this queen. Great work!

Posted 5 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

AJNJ

5 Months Ago

This poem is different from my others in many ways. I tried to take a character from history and tri.. read more
[send message][befriend] Subscribe
⚘
Lol! Copyright alert! I shall ring my lawyer quite soon! This is a brilliant poem, Monsieur P! The stains of the last Queen of France! Her reign began with a stain and ended with one, too, and the country fell into uncivilised revolution thereafter. You have painted a picture of her reign with great clarity and brevity. The stain of her blood after her execution shall forever remain a stain on my country. Its a wonderful idea, and i dare say you have done the unique style of this poet justice! Lol. Glad to have inspired such a write of excellence as this. Very well done, dear P! Take a bow, lest I take off your head for infringement! :)))

Posted 5 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

AJNJ

5 Months Ago

Thank you Madame. I came across an interesting item about her and thought hey it’s from France so .. read more
AJNJ

5 Months Ago

Merci beaucoup and please do spare this poor poet’s head! :)

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10 Reviews
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Added on May 23, 2020
Last Updated on May 23, 2020

Author

AJNJ
AJNJ

About
Call me AJ! I love to post a good poem every now and then. The love I receive is always returned in kind. Though I'm a pest sometimes 😁.... more..

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