Falsely Promised Valour

Falsely Promised Valour

A Poem by AaliaFOfficial
"

Inspired by Wilfred Owens poem "Dulce et Decorum est". It speaks of how young men and women are lured into the army with the promise of glory and how they never find what they so desperately seek.

"

Falsely Promised Valour


Cries for duty bellowed at dawn,

the relentless search for glory commenced.

Eyes reflecting infernal distress, galore.

With retrospection to the days- we longed to forget.

Trudging through the gorge, questionably unswerving,

Like a persistent flickering candle, inevitably extinguished.

Trudging through the gorge, taunting our death- impending.


Valor thanked not with misused sovereignty,

Sights of anguish coupled terminally with anxiety.

Calibrated explosives detonate- blinding primarily, conspicuous next.

Enfolding in a gush of necrosis and obliteration,

incandescent gases dissipate, white scalding debris plummet to our dismay.

Excruciating lacerations resonated banshee wails- indisputable agony hearkened.

Delirious clicks of patterned gunshots- unable to hear the 21.


The ground, doused in blood.

Amidst the insidious cacophony, limping, weary, consumed by lassitude,

A moment of epiphany, my penultimate moment of serenity.

Unable to piece the remnants of assured glory, incessant cries from the armageddon-

both,within and extraneous, obliterated patriotism.


Our attention redirected causing chaos- Gas! Gas! Quick, boys!

In the discombobulated paroxysm, I failed to assimilate the chaos.

Thick green vapour emerged before me, the agony vanquished the vigour.

Thoughts- disseminated- fixated on my conflagrant anatomy.

Shrieking, sobbing, succumbing,

Lungs begun spasming, gasping perilously for air.

Burns flicked at my face hungry, equivalent to Satan's brim fire, ruthlessly.

My peeling skin like the ecdysis of a serpent.

The men in masks merely stared- final sight as my eyes ruptured.

Black. A moment of tranquility as my carcass surrendered.


Aalia F

© 2013 AaliaFOfficial


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Reviews

This is a lovely poem. You really do have the potential. Have faith in yourself.

Posted 6 Years Ago


AaliaFOfficial

6 Years Ago

Thank you x
Simran Kewlani

6 Years Ago

You're welcome. xx
I like this poem, you should continue writing. It seems natural.

Posted 6 Years Ago


AaliaFOfficial

6 Years Ago

Thank you! :D
I congratulate Wilfred Owens for the courage to write such a poem which inspired you to write this wonderful piece.

Posted 6 Years Ago


AaliaFOfficial

6 Years Ago

Thank you very much!
zainul

6 Years Ago

You are most welcome!
This is an amazing poem about how people view war as civilians compared to how it truly is on the battlefield. The theme of the disillusionment soldiers face when they see carnage and suffering became very quickly apparent. Good stuff!

Posted 6 Years Ago


AaliaFOfficial

6 Years Ago

Thank you so much! That's exactly what I was trying to convey(:
Like the saying goes : Beware of what you wish for. Or for this matter what you are falely promised for you( any ) have to be ready for the dissapointment in the end if things don't go as planned...A splendid read and write...:)

Posted 6 Years Ago


AaliaFOfficial

6 Years Ago

Thank you so much!
Sami Khalil

6 Years Ago

You are welcome...:)
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Mia
This is so eloquently written in a way I could never do, I admire your style! Love the title…falsely promised valour…brilliant! I’ve always said that war is glamorized and most people don’t realize that going to war means death…a lot of it. If you’re lucky it won’t be yours but even then you never really come back, you can’t you’ve seen too much! I love the final line. The perfect end in my opinion!

Posted 7 Years Ago


AaliaFOfficial

6 Years Ago

Thank you very much! I appreciate the feedback! :D

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Added on September 17, 2013
Last Updated on September 17, 2013
Tags: #War, #WorldWar, #Old, #valour, #Promise, #lies, #Army, #country, #patriotism, #Lure, #Sad, #bloodshed

Author

AaliaFOfficial
AaliaFOfficial

Mumbai, India



About
Well, i'm honestly not much of a writer, i've been told I have potential, but im not very fond of criticism, particularly through people i know. Therefore, i was told about this site; "Constructive cr.. more..

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