Post Break

Post Break

A Story by Abishai100

Two dashing postal workers in beloved Detroit stage a spiral-heist of modern blood-diamond oblivion.

This is a mock-heist vignette about American patriotism at its most comic book like bizarre, a story of vigilante postal workers dreaming of upstaging the deadly international blood diamond matrix with a gesture of complete modern deformity! Enjoy, 

Detroit is the location of our story of modern era post office workers uniting to create an underground rebel club called Post Break (PB). No, this isn't a fight club or a terrorism song. It's a story of American bureaucrats gone mad but turning to a non-terrorism form of antisocial rebellion. It's your duty to determine the quality of this American diorama.

DETROIT WORKER: This city was once the proud home of the automotive industry, but now there's just gray bars!

Now, the US post office and its numerous employed workers, mailmen/women, comprise a proud sector of the American working-force. However, cutbacks, work related tensions, and general American public policy has somewhat challenged the once revered American profession, casted in various artworks as emblematic of civilization dignities.

Our protagonist in this American tragedy is Isaac Satan, an Algerian-American who grew up in Detroit and went to college in Michigan before becoming a relatively happy post-office worker in Detroit, a regular mailman with his own mail-delivery truck. Isaac is an average and typical US post office worker in Detroit/USA. He's also been somewhat jaded by all the malaise in the modern city regarding stagnant unemployment and bureaucracy frustrations and cutbacks. This nerdy postal dude is now planning something big.

This is where Isaac works --- a typical impressive US post office in the city of Detroit, Michigan. He's worked there now for about 3 years. He works alongside his girlfriend Sheila who's also worked in the same building for about 4 years and is about 2 years older than Isaac himself. They have a nice relationship, but he wants to persuade her now. This building has become boring to Isaac!

SHEILA: I like my job, and I like my boyfriend Isaac, and our Netflix life together is happy and solid, so I resist changes.

Isaac shows Sheila a video adaptation of Don Lasseter's jarring portrait of American madness, a treatise on the psycho-sociological forces that drive postal workers to go mad and lash out against society as mass murderers and rebels. This story, Going Postal, is not an average outlaw tale and it's not an analogy of the Old West. Sheila thinks Isaac's nuts for gazing upon such a discourse.

ISAAC: We're walking into Ally bank downtown in masks and robbing a baron's diamonds from safe-box #445.
SHEILA: What and why, dear?
ISAAC: We're going to subvert this dude's control over blood diamond traffic in Detroit, Sheila.
SHEILA: What and why, dear?
ISAAC: This city needs a new breed of poet.
SHEILA: Ok, but this is absolutely ludicrously insane!
ISAAC: I knew you'd share my visions, dear.
SHEILA: Right, alright; but the plan better be awesome.

Isaac and Sheila walk into the Ally bank in Detroit with masks on and claim they're from a theater group tied to the baron who stores his Antwerp diamonds in the bank, in safe-box #445. They don't know the baron has diamonds in the box which are actually from South Africa, so-called blood diamonds. Isaac discovered this by opening the baron's mail.

Isaac and Sheila request to be taken to the safe-box area where they may store their own (fake) diamonds and begin their new toy store business in the city, tied to the baron's empire. Once in the area, Isaac shows the guardsman his sample toy water-gun is actually filled with corrosive HCL acid.

Sheila, who's in a rabbit-mask explains that they're to swap the diamonds of the baron with the diamonds they've brought with them and take photos of the switch for the newspaper and for the baron's media stunt. The guardsman and bank manager realize this entire theater is some kind of pre-planned media event. They allow the two masked strangers to switch the gems and take photos of the swapping for the newspapers!

Isaac and Sheila leave behind the instant Polaroid photos with the bank manager for the baron to come in and pick up and deliver to the newspapers. When the baron does so, Isaac and Sheila send an anonymous notice to the Detroit Post, claiming that they've stolen a Detroit baron's South African blood diamonds on behalf of the US postal service to decry the sullying of the North American diamond market and to describe the dire need for devastating diadems like their sardonic acid-guns! The press goes berserk at this postal destabilization.

Were Isaac and Sheila merely trying to destroy a Detroit baron's immersion in the South African blood diamond matrix? Were they creating a new form of postal service rhetoric to echo a modern angst towards bureaucratic crimes neglected by mainstream police and politicians? Whatever their intentions, these two post-office outlaws have now become blood diamond celebrities.

ISAAC: We're going to enjoy a Detroit Lions football game now.
SHEILA: All's well now that our assets are secured by a Swiss account, Isaac.
ISAAC: I love Detroit!

FBI: We're on the trail of these two blood-diamond pirates, but we're not certain if the postal service employees are linked!

Isaac and Sheila got married and had a son named Damien and purchased for him a Transformers cop-robot toy named Prowl. This toy represented the young American couple's interest in modern civics and patriotism and their once outlaw vigilante deed to upend the Detroit blood diamond traffic. Damien has no idea and simply loves the cop toy their post office parents drew!

ISAAC: Here's a magazine article about Lions greatness, son.
DAMIEN: I like Detroit as much as you do, dad.

Blood diamond traffic threatens the quality of the North American gem market, since it's difficult to sort and sift through all the globalized diamond exchanges now dangerously linked to warlords and terrorists. However, you can get involved in this modern 'treasury intrigue' by asking your local Congressman what steps are being taken to ensure the improved democracy in diamond sales...and distributions! God bless America.

"Money is everything" (Ecclesiastes)

© 2021 Abishai100

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Added on April 7, 2021
Last Updated on April 7, 2021
Tags: Post Office Worker, Crime, Heist, America




Student/Minister; Hobbies: Comic Books, Culinary Arts, Music; Religion: Catholic; Education: Dartmouth College more..