Bonnie & Clyde: Algerian-American!

An unusual pair of emigrants finds romance-adventure in the arms of a daffy blood-diamond disaster!

An extra romantic-heist vignette I've been developing, as an inspiration from Penn's Bonnie and Clyde, which I think reflects our natural American fascination with 'social' drinks! Enjoy, 

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In the warm Cali city of San Diego in southwest USA, two Algerian-Americans in love, Clyde and Bonnie Satan, planned the perfect diamond-heist of a corrupt Dutch baron's blood-diamonds smuggled in from South Africa in the summer of 2010.

CLYDE: We have to be very careful that this heist is perfect and we avoid the darkness of Baron Kuyt.

BONNIE: Don't worry, knowing your nerdism, I'm certain you'll not neglect any details here, darling!

Clyde and Bonnie had lived through the Algerian Revolution during their childhood years and fled the troubled nation and moved to California where they studied (UCSD). Clyde and Bonnie sought a new life of American Dreams after enduring such a political hellmouth in a very different world!

CLYDE: We'll walk in with these water-guns filled with corrosive acid.

BONNIE: I'll explain we're 'associates' of Baron Kuyt with a media-photo mission involving cutting into his safe-box.

Clyde and Bonnie took the San Diego metro to the OneWest bank that warm summer day in Cali and got off wearing masks and holding their toy water-guns. They told the bank manager they're from a theater group from Africa involved with a theater media shoot involving Baron Kuyt's exotic Euro-gems.

BANK MANAGER: We knew Kuyt may be immersed in blood-diamond terrorism, and we believed the thieves were actors!

Clyde and Bonnie walked into the safe-box area of the vault-room of OneWest Bank in San Diego that warm summer day, escorted by the manager and one guardsman, believing they're a theater magazine agency involved with some Baron Kuyt diamond exposure media event. When they're inside the safe-box area, they pry open Kuyt's safe-box with their handy-dandy homemade 'acid-guns' and take Polaroids of the gems for the manager/guardsman to present to the newspapers. During the photo-shoot, Clyde switches Kuyt's diamonds with fake ones hidden in the soles of his shoes, while Bonnie's busy distracting the two. It was day OneWest wouldn't easily forget!

Since OneWest functioned rather socially and sociably, Kuyt didn't inspect his safe-box diamonds in the San Diego institution for another two months, giving Clyde and Bonnie sufficient time to trade his corrupt African blood-diamonds for assets used to fund their escape-trip to Hawaii, where they opened an island tourism bar. Meanwhile, the people at OneWest eventually wondered in bewilderment with Baron Kuyt what the hell happened to his 'pristine' gems in their fine sociable establishment.

Clyde bought Bonnie this amazing Porsche once they fled to Hawaii from CNC Motors (Honolulu). The two spent their golden years of marriage-retirement grateful for having escaped the terrorism-horrors of Algeria and serving as delightful daylight hosts for island-tourists in the Americas. Clyde kissed Bonnie and explained that he'd felt like McQueen himself, since the Porsche he bought her symbolized great American detours.

The Cali cop assigned to the case of investigating why Baron Kuyt's bank gems were declared ultimately fakes was none other than the San Diego police-detective Sheryl Teegs, who's linked to the horrifying case of the LA serial-killer known as the Tooth-Fairy. Teegs was resolved to crack the question, "Why would someone target Kuyt's mysterious bloody diamonds?"

CLYDE: If they catch us and try to separate us, we'll shoot our way out, darling!

BONNIE: We'll be a tragic love-story, but for now, all seems well in American detection.

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"Money is everything" (Ecclesiastes)