Kingpin

A Story by Abishai100

An ex-government specter (Satan) decides to compete in a local Haddonfield bowling-tourney and challenge a legend to impress Esmerelda.

A romantic fanfiction inspired by the uncanny Woody Harrelson/Bill Murray film Kingpin, a story of redeemed dreams.

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In a quiet American suburb in Illinois, a quiet ex-government blood-diamond subverter named Amlan Satan (code-name: 'Sparrow') sought to retire and live with his mother and play in the local bowling alley tournaments. He'd become a modest man and was looking to marry and settle down in this nice American suburb.

SATAN (Amlan): I'm through with gov't-work at 40 and want to play in simple bowling-tourneys and meet a nice woman.

Amlan liked collecting comic books and making drawings and renditions of iconic cartoon/comics characters like Ultra-Magnus and Magneto who represented first-knight rhetoric in modern warfare/adventure. He'd become a fan of heroism-storytelling and wanted to think less and less about political complications and more about youthful imagination!

Amlan met a gorgeous woman named Esmerelda who shared his passion for watching bowling tourneys on TV/ESPN. Esmerelda promised to accompany him on his next locally-televised bowling tournament in Haddonfield.

SATAN (Amlan): I want that bowling-tourney trophy in Haddonfield and to win it for Esmerelda.

Satan purchased a green-emerald "IQ" bowling-ball for the Haddonfield bowling tournament, a pretty $1k. He boasted about it but decided to remain quiet and humble given the competition at the tourney, lest he fail to really impress Esmerelda.

The lit-up Haddonfield bowling-alley was prepared for this locally-televised tourney-event. The event was co-sponsored by ESPN and featured companies like Apple and ActiVision who wanted 'in' on this local Haddonfield champagne society event to toast the modern media age and broadcast of community events.

SATAN (Amlan): To win this trophy, I have to take down Gus McCracken, the legendary Illinois bowler in Haddonfield!

Now, we all know Gus McCracken is no joke. He's reputed for being a swine, swindler, sweetie, and loverboy. His latest girlfriend is the super-model Jennifer Ghost who's to play in the upcoming DiCaprio/DreamWorks film Danish Diamonds.

SATAN (Amlan): Alright, Esmerelda, my sweet, I have to be perfect to take down Gus McCracken.

ESPN: "It looks like this local Haddonfield bowling-event is something few Americans understand is hallmark media."

ESMERELDA: Wear this lucky gear-watch for your tourney, darling Satan.

The Haddonfield bowling-tourney was underway, and the competitors came from all walks of life. Some drove from the American Southwest where there formed a secret bowling-club called American Bowls.

Satan had to bowl perfectly to get through the tourney-ladder, since the competition was nothing less than ideal for this ESPN covered locally-televised Haddonfield event. The bowlers seemed to all bowl above 8 on every roll and then pick up spares on most turnovers. However, Satan (Amlan) felt like he'd have to keep rolling strikes to get through this tough American pool, which he did, managing to get past the very best challengers, including some pretty fierce women (like Haddonfield's own Kata Manara).

MCCRACKEN: I won't let that little upstart-rascal Satan, some Interpol-geek, get the best of me in Haddonfield!

SATAN: Do you know how I won the trophy, Gus?
MCCRACKEN: No, but thrill me with your revelations, Amlan!
SATAN: I threw 5 separate strike-rolls during our final round, separated by 3 spares.

MCCRACKEN: Yeah, I know that!

SATAN: I had to create the perfect offsetting-mentalism control for the alternating balance.

MCCRACKEN: So you're a transcendental bowler, Satan?
SATAN: Yup, it seems I have a special knack for coming up with leveraged distancing.

MCCRACKEN: So, champ --- what's next for the Haddonfield Satan?

SATAN: I'm making stained-glass custom-lamps at home for mom and wife.

MCCRACKEN: Cool.

That's just what Amlan Satan did after miraculously managing to somehow upstage the hotpocket Gus McCracken in the Haddonfield bowling tourney after retiring from Interpol-works. He did indeed make stained-glass lamps at home for his mom and wife Esmerelda who came to cherish this new side of her grateful and humbled but honored champ-beau, Amlan.

Meanwhile, the media generated by the locally-televised ESPN covered bowling event generated fan-videos all over YouTube about upstart Amlan Satan taking down the legend Gus McCracken. There were even homemade simulation sets featuring the manner and shape of the final round between Satan and Gus. It seemed that no one was betting on Satan, but that night, everyone regretted it. The fan-media generated created nice satellites for the under-appreciated modern sport of televised bowling.