Femme-Fatale: LA Bank Robbery

Two liberal women in America are feminists in Cali but are part of a special vigilante-dye, creating diamond-outs.

A very fun and politically affable vignette about fiery femmes in California, inspired by Mad Money! Enjoy, 

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On the campus of a popular American university in sunny Cali, a feminist conference was to evaluate the impact of Eastern philosophy on Western feminism, particularly Hinduism. The conference would invite feminists from around the world, including Angela Davis, Susan Sontag, and Elena Wu. 

At the conference, one of the topics to be addressed was the circulation of the Hindu image of the two supreme wife-goddesses of the Zeus-like king of Hindu gods, Shiva (god of destruction/meditation), unwittingly and arguably jointly or separately humiliating their husband who's laying fallen on the ground for some reason. This feminism-friendly image of wife-goddesses suppressing their king-god husband is a popular Hindu image, and the feminist conference at the American university in sunny Cali wanted to evaluate the impact of this image on Western feminism storyboards.

The students of the Women's Coalition at the popular American university in sunny Cali were helping coordinate the feminist conference. They're planning major speakers and debates and panels and even comic book presentations for an entire week, and they're hoping two attending feminist professors will be Harvard's Elena Barberio and Seton Hall's Alisha Satan.

However, Dr. Barberio and Satan are currently invested in the analysis of the corruption of the global diamond market in the underground because of blood-diamond (warlord-mined gems in conflict zones in Africa used to fund terrorism in places as far as Europe!) smuggling into North America. Barberio/Satan are studying how the sullying of the global diamond exchange because of this new nefarious smuggling activity frustrating Interpol even might destroy women's views towards the media-marketing of diamonds in modern consumerism-drenched USA.

BARBERIO: We can't just leave this blood-diamond study behind to attend the Cali feminist conference.

SATAN: Yeah, but this problem won't go away in just one week, so we'll be able to squeeze it in.

Barberio/Satan learned in sunny Cali lived a corrupt capitalism-baron named Goldfinger who's reputed to be smuggling in blood-diamonds into North America via Belgium and the Netherlands. This Cali-baron stores his signature 'gold-diamonds' (no doubt blood-diamonds!) in a safe-box in an LA bank.

BARBERIO: I think we have extra-time for a special staged Goldfinger-heist, girlfriend.

SATAN: It's the right extra-curricular activity, but we'll have to stakeout the bank first!

ALISHA SATAN: Seton Hall professor; feminist; Catholic, advocate of eco-conservation, Master of sociolinguistics.

ELENA BARBERIO: Harvard professor; feminist; Atheist; advocate of tort-reform; Libertarian Party; Master of socioeconomics.

The two vigilante-professors decide to dress up like theatrical performers and plan to walk into the LA Bank where Goldfinger stores his blood-diamonds, armed with toy water-guns!

BARBERIO: We get on the Los Angeles metro in our theatrical costumes and use it to escape too.

SATAN: The metro is quick and convenient, and we'll use it to get to the airport swiftly.

The business on the day of the Goldfinger-heist at the LA Bank is quite substantial, but there's not too much need for crowd-control, as most people just want to walk in and do their regular affairs conveniently and quietly and not worry about hero-factors on the hot pre-summer morning in sunny Cali.

Barberio/Satan arrive in costumes and wearing brown paper-bag crafted masks and escorted by a hired man in a suit and brown paper-bag crafted mask. They show their toy water-guns to the manager and explain they're from a theater group with a link to an LA toy store and are putting on a stage-play about Cali's own famous Baron Goldfinger and request a photo-session with his signature/famous 'gold-diamonds' for the play before storing their own diamonds in the safe-box of the LA Bank that day.

While inside the safe-box area, Barberio switches Goldfinger's blood-diamonds with the fakes she and Alisha Satan brought with them to store in a new disposable account. No one notices. They carry on with their media-photo session of the Goldfinger gems for their stage-act and press. They walk out with $20 million blood-diamonds.

BARBERIO: At this feminist conference, we'll talk about the Eastern goddess Saraswati!

SATAN: Yes, yes; she's the lovely younger goddess of learning/music and a great messenger of peace.

BARBERIO: Do you think our anti-Goldfinger vigilante-media stunt will draw more Interpol detectives?

SATAN: Yeah, Goldfinger's days in sunny Cali are numbered.

BARBERIO: We can toast to Goddess Saraswati.

Ironically, at the feminist conference at that popular American university in sunny Cali that week, Elena Barberio met a very handsome liberal American male professor named John Cambell and married him. Alisha Satan, still Elena's best-girlfriend and bridesmaid at her wedding to John, commented, "Who knew feminists are in for dreamy turns in life?"

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"Money is everything" (Ecclesiastes)