Ottawa Pirates*

Narrated account of what makes pirate-imagination a world-dream!

A special toast to Piracy (and pirates!). Enjoy, 

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My name's Amlan. I'm descended from real old-world pirates and invite you into this adventure-diorama of what makes a real-life pirate a diplomat of the Leviathan.

I've traveled all around the world and to great places, including Thailand and France and Mexico. I've learned about the treasures and fortunes of many peoples including Canadians and Indians. I've kept souvenirs of these great educational travels.

I studied capitalism-sociology at Dartmouth/CalTech before settling in Ottawa (Canada) as an ice-hockey player (part-time) and blood-diamond anti-terrorism financing infiltration analyst/ninja (part-time) with Interpol-relations. Ottawa (Canada) has become my base-station for my adult adventures.

"Ice-hockey is a human sport requiring great swiftness, body-control, aim, passing, mental focus, and dance."

I've collected paintings and dioramas of great wars (e.g., War of 1812) and images of city 'sieges' that re-present our human fascination with controlled Leviathan. The 'Leviathan' is the sea-beast of chaos, and city-corruption reflects the chaos of disoriented governance and economics and politics. We see the Leviathan in images of great city sieges. This is the stuff of pirate fascination really!

I've ridden on an authentic pirate-ship, on a single mission on the sea to Saigon involving the extraction of blood-diamond property from a corrupt baron from Europe using terrorism-financing. I called my ship the Black Pearl.

I'm a Catholic by faith now (practicing), but I've been curious about Eastern religious imagery concerning the graphic divisions between the genders and the adventure-lore such divisions might create. For example, did you know Shiva (god of destruction) and Kali (goddess of anarchy) in the East are often depicted as natural piracy-foils of imagination-diagonals? This too is pirate-fascination.

I consider myself a real 'Ottawa Pirate' and it's not just because I skate on the ice as a hockey-player as if I'm sailing in the Leviathan of human fitness. It's also because I collect real pirate treasures and antiques such as old-world weapons and jewelry, and much of it is stored in my safe-house in Ottawa (Canada).

"We had to rob a bank in Europe using some pirate-costumes and water-gun imagery for blood-diamond infiltration."

The gem we procured during that Euro-heist was a brilliant 'Vanderbilt sapphire' worth over $20 million.

Our 'Ottawa Pirates' team for that Vanderbilt-heist included myself and two other costumed circus-men and we barged in parading our toy water-guns to the bank manager/guardsmen!

We explained we needed photos of a baron's gems for a media-magazine while depositing our own (fakes!) inside the neighboring safe-box right before we revealed our theater toy water-guns were filled with acid. The manager/guardsman now knew we're some Interpol-relations pirate-radio agents working with anti-terrorism financing (blood-diamond!) diagonals. That was an exposition in media advertisement.

Actually, capitalism analysis, anti-terrorism work, terrorism-financing subversion, and blood-diamond infiltration requires much serious Leviathan mathematics and CalTech resources, and I have to think like an IQ-pirate when I'm working often!

"I'm a pirate, because I'm in romance with the splendor and mystery of wine itself."

PIRATE: You have audacity to threaten capitalism?
DRAGON: Capitalism is by definition frail by human hands!
PIRATE: We're agents of world governance intrigue, creature.
DRAGON: What's the substance of human yearnings?
PIRATE: Democracy, of course!

I also love snowboarding and watching the Olympics on TV, and in case you're curious/interested, a real pirate (like me!) is someone who can relate human fitness/acrobatics with the Earth-fantasy of conquering imagination-diagonals.

I sometimes have dreams I'm in the old-world, hanging out in pirate-bars and enjoying ale and talking about steak, adventure stories, and beautiful women. Har, har, har, har!

I gave my girlfriend Esmerelda a gorgeous pirate-necklace from my heritage, and she still considers me an eccentric!

PRINCE: The nature of humanity is war and capitalism.

PIRATE: The nature of man and woman is to embrace endurance!

We 'Ottawa Pirates' are not just bank-robbing blood-diamond ninjas. We're also romantics and philosophers of the endurance of the great Leviathan of terrorism. We care about the celebration of sea-diamonds.

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"Money is everything" (Ecclesiastes)