Prologue

Prologue

A Chapter by Lena Rossmore
"

Prologue to post-apocalyptical dark fantasy The Cataclysm.

"

"To die will be an awfully big adventure."

-J.M Barrie


Three things filled the warehouse.


The first was the all-consuming darkness; impenetrable, it wrapped around the building three times over creating the illusion that it did not even exist under the night sky.


The second was the stench of spilled blood. The smell hung damply in the air, creeping into every orifice it could find. But it was not the smell that mattered, instead the fact that the blood had come from two child captives.


The third thing that filled the warehouse was the screams of torture. They were not muffled or subdued, as no one was around to hear them. They were screeches of agony and pleas of mercy that fell on deaf ears. 


"Cut her arms open…slowly." The statement came from a man named Exodus. He was sitting in the middle of the warehouse, sprawled carelessly across a metal chair.


"What about the boy?" The second man to speak - Felix - stood ten or so feet in front of were Exodus sat. His large hands were clamped around the arms of a struggling girl; he silenced her with a blow to the head.


"Leave the boy for now," Exodus spoke again, in a more dismissive tone, "He must watch his sister suffer." The boy in question was screaming incomprehensibly at the back of the warehouse; heavy metal shackles chained him to the wall preventing him from running to his now unconscious sibling. 


"Help me chain her up." Felix motioned for another guard to assist him as he dragged the girl's body to the back of the warehouse; in full view of her younger brother. 


"Nyla! Nyla!" The boy screamed his sister's name in a futile attempt to wake her.


"Don't worry, your sister will be awake once we start the torture process. You can say goodbye then." Exodus was no longer lounging on his chair but instead had crept towards the captives in a manner similar to a beetles'. Standing up, he was not particularly large in stature but instead he was tall and skinny; not common features of a clan leader.


"Let us go! Please." The boy was no longer screaming but had now broken down in tears. Exodus laughed. Not a big booming laugh nor a screechy evil laugh but a pitying laugh, as if to say "You really don't know how wicked I am do you?".


"What is your name boy?" Exodus inched forward; slightly.


"Griffin. My name is Griffin." A heavy silence filled the room after that, broken only by the gentle sobs of the boy. Exodus had paused, perhaps to think up new ways of torturing Griffin and Nyla, but regardless of what he was thinking, his reverie was broken by the large metal doors scraping open.


A strong gale of wind preceded the two guards into the building. They were dragging a limp body behind them, leaving nothing but a trail of blood in their wake. 


"We found him snooping in one of our supply caravans." They gestured towards the body; it was that a teenage boy, quite young, eighteen at most. The colour of his hair was indistinguishable as it was matted with blood seeping from the gash on his forehead, and his eyes were glazed over.


"A theif…" Exodus stood contemplating for a minute before he turned back to the young boy, "Do you know what we do with thieves Griffin?" Griffin chose not to reply but the expression in his eyes said it all; he was terrified of this man and it was only then did it dawn on him that he was going to die.  


Exodus sauntered to where the new captive lay, but something stopped him in his tracks before he could speak. Fear. Exodus felt nothing but fear; an emotion that had not possessed him in years. Despite the darkness and the blood covering the boy's face, there wasn't a doubt in his mind that it was Atticus. Exodus had naively assumed that Atticus had perished during the cataclysm. The Lower Grove had been reduced to nothing more than rubble and so he had gathered that all of it's inhabitants had died. He was clearly mistaken.


"Kill him." The words escaped his mouth as barely more than a whisper, but they were said with enough conviction that the guards obliged without questioning him. Exodus turned his back just as the gunshot was fired. The sound resonated off the warehouse walls before the room fell into complete silence again. Exodus watched as Griffin writhed in horror, a sight that would normally evoke a feeling of amusement. But that feeling was no where to be found as Exodus pieced the puzzle together in his mind. At that present moment he was certain of two things.


Firstly, he was sure that Atticus' brothers Gaz and Jake were still alive; they were hiding in the darkness that wasn't uncommon after the cataclysm, and plotting their revenge.


And secondly, that if either Griffin or Nyla died, he would too.


"Wake her up." the anxiety in Exodus' voice was uncommon enough to provoke a sense of urgency in the guards.


They woke Nyla by slightly burning her fingertips with a rusted blowtorch. The pain rose her from slumber and she gasped for air as if she had just been held underwater against her will. She was incapable of coherent speech and so was forced to listen to Exodus, all the while watching to make sure no harm had come to her younger brother.


"You treasure your brother's life more than your own," the fear had evaporated from Exodus' voice and was now replaced with a deep rooted anger, "So you will do as I say or he will die an unmerciful death."


"Don't you dare touch him." Nyla had somehow found her voice amongst the emotions flashing visibly across  her face. It was a rattlesnake against the silence; cracked, dry and venomous.


"There will be no need to hurt him as long as you do what I tell you too." Exodus was unfazed by the girl; she was far more important than she knew, but as long as she stayed oblivious to her significance, he was free to play mind games with her.


"Don't hurt Nyla! Please!" Griffin had now succumbed to his knees but his head was tilted up, as if in prayer.


"You should be more worried about yourself, because if your sister doesn't get me what I want then you will soon be dead."


"What do you want?" Nyla's tone had turned to pleading; he knew he had her.


"I want you to go on a little adventure to the Lower Grove." As he managed to find humor in doom, Exodus gave malevolence a name.


"That's impossible. There's nothing left there." 


"Ahh but there is. And there is something of value there for me…or should I say someone. Two people in fact. I want you to bring me back Gaz and Jake Logan, or the consequences are simple; your little brother here, dies."



© 2012 Lena Rossmore


Author's Note

Lena Rossmore
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Featured Review

wow poor griffin:( and it seems like that Exodus guy rlly needs a hug or something he's like major mad mood status and he's takin it out on the kids. really good and interesting beginning. It makes me wonder if you're gonna keep telling the story in the Bad-guys perspective which would be really cool cause personally i don't think we have enough of those books out there. I loved the start how you describe the 3 things in the warehouse:) and "orifice" nice word choice lol as for advice idk i don't think you really need any but you could add more emphasis on Griffin and his emotions. maybe like describe his face when his sister was knocked out. Like say his face flashed with anger and worry as he thrashed against the chains holding him back... or something like that. anyways keep up the good work:) subscribing for sure!

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Lena Rossmore

8 Years Ago

ahaha yeah I think I'm going to keep switching from the bad guys to the good guys to get a better se.. read more
Timeless-Chan

8 Years Ago

of course:) glad to help!



Reviews

You seem to favour the opposing “something something, but something” structure. I’d suggest you pay it a bit more attention and consider whether that’s the best way to say it when you use it. It’s a really minor remark though, nothing that won’t be polished during revision.

Dialogue is fine but I would suggest reading it out loud because it’s a bit rough around the edges here and there. Just a bit too literate, and speech is usually simpler.

Pretty nice overall. There are things to polish, naturally but it’s a stable base, establishing the story and the characters. Keep up the good work.


Posted 8 Years Ago


What horrible people would prey on children? This reads like a nightmare, good writing!

Posted 8 Years Ago


Lena Rossmore

8 Years Ago

ahaha thank you
Wow, keep up the good work this is so well written! Can't wait for more. :)

Posted 8 Years Ago


Lena Rossmore

8 Years Ago

thank you! :)
ok.. I read the first part of the first chapter.. it is good but not my favorite genre.. keep at it though..

Posted 8 Years Ago


olla

8 Years Ago

I will want to stop by and read some more from time to time.. even though it is not my forte I still.. read more
Lena Rossmore

8 Years Ago

thank you for that, and youre right !
olla

8 Years Ago

never let anyone discourage you.. even though you are a young writer you are still a writer and alwa.. read more
Hey! sorry it took me so long to read this, i worked two doubles this weekend, but it was great! I'm excited to read the next chapter, so keep up the good work :) Just posted a newly added prologue, and the second draft of my first chapter, its 6000 pages, but it flies by!

Posted 8 Years Ago


Matt Evans

8 Years Ago

i meant 6000 words, not pages lolll
Like your opening how you just start the action. Good write.

Posted 8 Years Ago


Lena Rossmore

8 Years Ago

Thank you very much!
What an excellent beginning tO what I think is going to be a dark story.
You can really feel how evil and egotistic Exodus is..
Bravo, simply bravo.
Keep em coming!

Posted 8 Years Ago


Lena Rossmore

8 Years Ago

Thank you !
I like this. Atmosphere. Easy to read. Gonna stay with this.
There was so big emphasis's on “evil” that realization of his death only at the end felt a bit strange – it didn't look like there was any hint previously he could be left alive. There should be some hints later why he was hoping to be left alive or it will be strange.
“Griffin. My name is Griffin.” felt a bit too long for him to be scared/emotional and could be interpreted by evil person as pointing out that single time for him isn't enough to understand.
And why I don't think these evil people aren't so evil as you could think.

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Lena Rossmore

8 Years Ago

Thank you very much! I will definitely take your advice into consideration for the upcoming chapters.. read more
this was very interesting.. I loved this chapter, it makes me want to read more. Looking forward to the next chapter! well done!

Posted 8 Years Ago


Lena Rossmore

8 Years Ago

Thank you very much! And it will be up very soon!
This was very interesting to read. The beginning hooked me and after, i couldn't stop reading. I love how this also painted pictures in my head. I am really looking forward to where this is going. This was quite an interesting piece. Great write. Well done.

Posted 8 Years Ago


Lena Rossmore

8 Years Ago

Thank you very much!
GreenIvy

8 Years Ago

No problem. :)

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Added on July 13, 2012
Last Updated on July 22, 2012
Tags: fantasy, dark fantasy, fiction, teenage, psychological


Author

Lena Rossmore
Lena Rossmore

London, United Kingdom



About
Just another aspiring writer. "there's a hell of a good universe next door, let's go." Feel free to drop me a message and I'll be happy to do a swap, just read and review 'Century' as it's what .. more..

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Prologue Prologue

A Chapter by Lena Rossmore


Chapter One Chapter One

A Chapter by Lena Rossmore


Chapter Two Chapter Two

A Chapter by Lena Rossmore



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