The search of a spark

                  Winter came, and with it, another story to tell. With the whispering of a cold wind blowing from the north, and small snowflakes falling as they were dancing throughout the skies. More and more signs, that romance in its full beauty and ugliness still exist.

 

Sometimes painful, covered with the blood of the despaired and sorrowful, and yet, sometimes, like rays of light, strong enough to clear the big sky, and showing us just how much hope there is in this world. In a touch of a dear person, or to be lost in a contagious smile? All the possibilities, to see them, is to feel the pulse of this world.

 

This is a story about a man convinced that hate, selfishness and loneliness are the only feelings that describe humans. And bored with what he sees, he gave up on humanity, and the world.

 

Until the encounter happened, with an very strange and familiar boy. But why spoiling the story?

It’s best to sit down and see the adventure for yourself.

 

 

 

THE BLIND MIND

 

'' So many questions, and so many answers, but neither can keep my soul in peace. What is it, that makes me, me? What's wrong with my persona? Why do I keep smiling, when it pains me, that I can't smile for real anymore. ''

 

Questioning himself every morning, like a ritual that couldn't be undone. It was bigger even than him.

And that was what caused him pain. Not knowing, whether answering to the feelings, that waited inside for so long, or to ignore them, and letting justice to fail.

 

'' Damian, son, are you ready to take class again…'' whispered his mother trying to wake him up.

 

'' In a minute, mom'' with a gentle smile answered Damian -'' I think I'm ready… finally'' he said changing his face expression to slightly serious one.

'' that's good to hear, you know when you will be ready, so take your time''- watching carefully for his reactions, not wanting to pressure him, knowingly that his condition could get worse.

 

‚‚ ok, it’s time Damian, let us go in this cage, and fight this pointless battle called socializing’’  telling his other self in front of the mirror. Leading these so called monologues, every morning, like he hoped to get an answer from the boy in front of him. He knew nothing will happen, but still, this cursed thing called hope didn’t let him to give up completely.

 

Having high hopes for something to happen, only to escape this monotone life, to experience, if possible, an adventure for the last time. To see the ‚‚spark’’ one last time.

 

He was ready, all set up, to take the classes again. He studied law, at the beginning he was really into it. But as the time passed he learned that sometimes justice isn’t always present. Yes, even things like justice can fail. Why? Some would ask, easy, the word ‚‚justice’’  was from the beginning a fake word, or rather it was not possible for such thing to exist in the first place.

 

What is ‚‚Justice’’  really?

Justice is merely a concept of moral rightness, based on never really well thought of things like law, religion, ethics or fairness.

 

Religion, a fairy tail in which putting it bluntly people invented to gain control over other people. A God who is in the same time the most loving and most fair among us all. How is that fair to begin with. By logic, if Heaven and Hell exist, and only the good go to Heaven, than it means God doesn’t love equally, and if his love is so great to let even criminals trough the gates of Heaven, than he surely isn’t completing the whole justice part. Because it would not be fair to be in the same heaven as the people who killed, murdered, raped and committed all kind of crimes. How’s that fair.

 

Law, a list of rules to comply with. Why? Why should we comply with rules made by mere humans just like us. What makes them so special to limit us in such way. Than no one, in this dark and chaotic world can never really be free. We will always be bound to some rules. Which means freedom is nothing but fiction.

Rules made by human, and as we know, human have many faults, so why comply with someone with so many faults and mistakes. There are things called ‚‚loopholes in the law’’. Why can't a human decide for himself, is it right or not?

 

The same goes with ethics and the word '' fairness ''. Who get’s to decide what’s fair and what’s not ?

 

These are the questions that drove him insane. And what he wanted in life, is whether an answer which could ease his curiosity and let him move on, or something to happen, interesting enough to forget such thoughts. Because he knew, this could not go any longer.

 

''I'm going, so God, please let me do this my own way, let me enjoy it for the last time, the moment I felt in the past,, and the danger that comes with it. Give me that, for what I seek, I beg of you'' -looking up the sky, Damian knew, sooner or later something will trigger his interest, and his desire to end his life will be hidden. Even if it is for only a moment. 

Reviews

[tapiwa chirairo]

You are a really good writer and the chapter was very interesting and deep. I can't wait for the next one

[Achaicus]

thank you for your review, and I hope I can have the time to publish every saturday a new chapter :D Any way thank you again...