Sonnet XXIV – In your darkest hour

Have faith!

Thrown back into old mesmeric darkness

Where your own heart beats deaden and fade out

And No candle would light your murkiness

There’s not even a pale rose on your route

 

Stars light is out of reach and out of dream

Where psalms of pain in an unholy verse

Agonize your head and adjoin your scream

The only anthem in your bound universe

 

Yet in this deepest hour of darkness

Hope and faith must enlighten your insight

For those two divine aids are your weapons

Through the most rayless and dimmest of nights

 

Don’t succumb to any haunting specter

Splenderanno! Per aspera ad astra

Author's Note

I am not liking this piece very much... Just a rough draft... Please feedback!

Reviews

[jacob erin-cilberto]

the last line throws me...i really like the first two stanzas best.

Titans seems not a word that fits so well to me...

but you do sonnets quite well...and there is a pulse to them, a strong rhythm that you want to have...

i just feel the first two stanzas here are so strong..and the ending leaves us a bit dissatisfied if we can't translate...

jacob

[Adam Lebzo -RonninWarrior-]

I agree with you, Jacob... i didnt like "Titans" as well....
thank you for your valuable feedback..

[Dalia]

very good one.
I've read it before and after the changes you've made, liked it in both times, but here the structure and verse are perfect, loved the last two lines, had to translate, but a great idea ti insert languages.

[Adam Lebzo -RonninWarrior-]

Thanks, Dalia
Glad you liked it... Still not liking it myself