Unfinished thought

Unfinished thought

A Story by Twisted desire

An other ordinary day , i stare at myself in the mirror .. Should I shave my beard ? Should I take a shower , or a bath maybe , a hot one . Several hours of thinking about silly things that would take me few minutes to do. Strange right ? But do you know what is weirder ? The mirror , the "other me" standing there shooting me with bullets empty of gunpowder but full of betrayal's looks , the ones Jesus would give to Judas when they meet in judgement day. Yes dear ,Jesus , i started believing in god again , after all , your beauty is divine , no one can witness your smile and pretend it's a random work of nature , only a god can softly create this masterpiece . I stop looking at the mirror and start thinking deeper , and by deeper i mean thinking about smoking. Should i smoke again and lie about quiting and be the virgin princess whom the walls of the palace witnessed her sins ? But then , i stop thinking and start writing. I don't know what should i write but i'm sure you're going to be in it , directly , indirectly ,in your pure image, or your good disguise , in your mortal form or in your godess's white dress. I might right a silly song about how much i love you , a deep text or a short novel based on you that i will burn into ashes because i know it's not good enough for you.

© 2015 Twisted desire


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Featured Review

Ouch... This is chaotic..........really chaotic. Hard to keep track, of who is who. At some parts, i've been wondering if you were talking to the mirror image of yourself, or a girl you're in love with. Try and correct those parts, and you have a nice story. 100 rating.

Posted 3 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Dani The Unreviewed

3 Years Ago

Well...i think that if that was your goal, then you didn't fail. Keep writing, you really have it in.. read more
Twisted desire

3 Years Ago

Thank youu ! I really i appreciate it ! :)
Dani The Unreviewed

3 Years Ago

You're welcome.



Reviews

Sometimes a chaotic piece like this can stir creativity....we NEED to think outside of the box to stir that which will not "move" with rational thought.....

I think you meant to use the word "write" in the second last line instead of "right"....

Thank you for this thought-provoking piece!

Posted 3 Years Ago


Stream of consciousness pros are really hard to get right.

ell done, it works.

I love the chaos of the mind, the rambling thoughts that criss-cross back and forth.

I good piece.

Posted 3 Years Ago


loved it very much I believe you are a christian

Posted 3 Years Ago


Random and rambling but I did expect that given your title. I think, and this is just my opinion, Jumbled Thoughts would be a good title as well. You go from one thought to the other and that's perfectly fine. Maybe watch your spelling and lower case letters ... overall though ... very good. I enjoyed.

Posted 3 Years Ago


I really love some of the phrases and metaphors you use here like 'bullets empty of gunpowder..' And the 'walls of the palace witnessed her sins' - it jumps from trivial aspects of life like taking a shower to really deep, real issues of emotions and its so clever! Beauts

Posted 3 Years Ago


I really liked how everything revolved around this character's scrambled thoughts. It flies back and forth from one thing to another and I feel like I'm almost transported to a moment when my mind was as chaotic as theirs is. Great read and I found it very interesting!

Posted 3 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Twisted desire

3 Years Ago

The mind is a beautiful chaos .. we should get lost in it ! Thanks for your review :)
I can definitely relate to this personally. Getting so caught up in your head that you become incapacitated from actually "doing" anything. And while it is a bit difficult to follow where your mind is traveling at times, I feel this accurately captures the way our minds work. They do not follow a perfectly illustrated and clear path, but rather jump from idea, to idea, thought to thought, with a connection that may only be relevant to the person having those very thoughts.

This is real. I love it.

Posted 3 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Twisted desire

3 Years Ago

That's exactly what i meant ! Thank you ! :)
Ouch... This is chaotic..........really chaotic. Hard to keep track, of who is who. At some parts, i've been wondering if you were talking to the mirror image of yourself, or a girl you're in love with. Try and correct those parts, and you have a nice story. 100 rating.

Posted 3 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Dani The Unreviewed

3 Years Ago

Well...i think that if that was your goal, then you didn't fail. Keep writing, you really have it in.. read more
Twisted desire

3 Years Ago

Thank youu ! I really i appreciate it ! :)
Dani The Unreviewed

3 Years Ago

You're welcome.

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226 Views
8 Reviews
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Added on September 2, 2015
Last Updated on September 2, 2015
Tags: romance, first love, random thoughts, love


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