File Against the Heart (2/5)

File Against the Heart (2/5)

A Story by Adrian X Fuentess

Don't fight it, baby




“Why are you doing this to me?” Caleb asks Justin Kyle for the millionth time now, a cup of tea for each in between. For the past month, they have met every Saturday at the coffee shop across the mall; his acquaintances buy their clothes online or by catalogue so he’s safe �"no one of his circle would see him talking with some weird looking hipster in the corner of that raggedy place. He wears sweat pants and a shirt, black shades, and a baseball hat; just a regular loser going for a jog, he thought when he saw himself on the mirror. Justin Kyle is glad to see him out of his monkey suit every time, it reminded him of the seventeen year old guy that loved to dance when no one was watching; it reminded him of the guy he fell in love with. But that was in the past, Justin Kyle gets himself together. Today, from what they’ve talked about, Caleb Jay is engaged to his high school sweetheart, Hailey Thomas.

Justin Kyle laughs at the picture he gets in his head when Caleb Jay told him the news. The typical white picket fence love story that everyone in the country club wants to hear, can they get any more cliché than that? The jock and the head cheerleader married, not before getting their respective college degree, of course. Why are the Book Club ladies going to say if Hailey doesn’t educate herself? It would go against everything that feminism stands for. No one would forget such low blow to the Women Suffrage, and Hailey’s name would never come up in the guest list for charities events. Caleb Jay himself would not be forgiven for allowing his soon to-be wife become so liberal. Talk about feminism! The twins would come after Caleb has made a name for himself at the firm, and he’s assigned a chair in the partners’ conference room. Then, they would move to the suburbs in the outsides of town, surrounded by the people they hate but cannot live without.

“Justin, it’s time to let go.” Caleb’s voice quivers when he pronounces the name of the guy that at one time, he thought himself to be in love with.

“Do you remember Pride Prom 2009, Caleb Jay?” Justin finally speaks, after sipping on his tea. His fingers lingering on the cup handle; his green eyes piercing Caleb’s heart.

“Where do you want to get?”

“You were happy, Caleb.” Justin Kyle replies. “That was the last time I saw you that happy. It was the only time that alcohol had not been a factor to your having a good time. Remember?”

“No, it’s been a long time since. And to be honest, I am pretty sure I was wasted.”

Justin Kyle takes another sip from his cup, his eyes never straying from Caleb’s bright blue eyes. Silence is what Caleb Jay has had for the past years, since he walked away the night he and Justin Kyle went out on their official first date. Silence had been his best friend. No one knows him better than the cold and empty silence. He’s always been comfortable when words can be avoided, but he’s squirms in his own skin now that Justin Kyle looks through him. He can’t hide who he is, and he gets the sudden urgency to speak truthfully for once, and breathe in freedom.

“A waste of time, it was indeed.” Justin Kyle states. A sharp pain runs through Caleb Jay’s chest.

“Listen, I am too old for these mind games, okay? I just want to get back to my life and go on with it. I can’t risk my status over some silly impulse. This isn’t high school, Justin. We are not kids anymore. We have a future to tend to, at least I do. I am sincerely sorry if you have done nothing for yourself, but I am moving forward with my life the way it should be.”

Justin Kyle says nothing. He’s learned to not let his emotions be read on his gestures, and Caleb knows it well. He learned the trick, and took it to heart. Caleb Jay has used that trick up to this moment. Neither of them is going to break, and they know it; they’re both strong when keeping their standards intact. Pride, Caleb Jay thinks of Justin Kyle, that’s what his life is all about. Be proud of who you are, and stand up for your beliefs. Don’t let anyone run your emotions. You are the one who make the shots. And that’s exactly what he is doing, Caleb Jay thinks to himself. He wants to be part of the group that everyone expects him to be. He is comfortable in it; his name is known and respected; he’s not letting his heart guide him therefore he’s accomplish what he’s put his mind to; he doesn’t need to make the shots.

He is the big shot. He is what many aim to become someday. Caleb Jay is where he wants to be, and that is all that it is. Why can’t Justin Kyle see that?

“I get where you come from, Caleb.” Justin Kyle exclaims, making Caleb realize that he’s spoken aloud. “And believe me, I am happy for you. I don’t necessarily agree with your choices due to the damage you’ll cause when silence takes its toll; but I respect you. I see where you coming from. And I have moved on.” Truth is, every now and then, whenever Justin Kyle is reminded, the memory stings. It’s an open wound no matter how many years have gone by. But this, he will not admit because he genuinely wants Caleb Jay to be happy; he has, silently and from far away, wished him the best of luck with the white picket fence dream of his.

“Then I don’t get what kick you get by putting me through this.”

“Caleb, your life circles downtown. This isn’t it, so what are YOU doing here? This is where I decided to escape to from hypocritical civilization. This is my utopia. Look around. Is this the world that you claim to belong to?” Justin Kyle speaks eloquently, and his minty breath takes Caleb back to the time when their lips longed for each other’s. And just like yesterday, his lips feel the need for that soft touch.

“I have to go.” Caleb Jay replies before his will fails.

“And please don’t come back.”


© 2012 Adrian X Fuentess

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Author's Note

Adrian X Fuentess
From 48 to 58 reviews yesterday. Thanks so much guys. Here's another fragment of the story. Hope you like it.
It's still being written so motivate me to continue. Remember, 50 reviews and I'll post the next. Share on your Twitter/Tumblr/Facebook/etc.


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Great piece. I loved part two. I've been meaning to get to it man I'm sorry it took so long. I thought that this showed a different scenario by showing that the guy has moved on in his mind. But, it sounds like they will both always love each other.

Posted 10 Years Ago

You have a very good sense of when to switch form reflection to actual diologue. The line "Where do you want to get?" sounds a bit odd to me, but that's about it. I'm also curious if you intend to use their full names all the time; it's an interesting move.

Posted 10 Years Ago

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2 Reviews
Added on April 16, 2012
Last Updated on April 16, 2012
Tags: gay pride, latino, teens, queens, drags, music, techno, friends, boyfriend, girlfriend, kissing, love, friendship, festival, freedom, stonewall, high school, college


Adrian X Fuentess
Adrian X Fuentess

Omaha, NE

English is my second language, so i do appreciate some pointers in my grammar. Thanks for stopping by, and please feel free to leave me some feedback and coming back. i will return the favor. more..