Adriana

Adriana is lost at sea when her caravel sinks in a storm.

Adriana

 

Lightning hit.The mainsail burned
as her caravel upturned.
Forceful waves that heaved and churned
separated stem from stern.

 

All on board were lost but she,
Adriana floating free
clutching pieces of debris
at the mercy of the sea.

 

Adriana in her plight
fought the storm throughout the night
until dark gave way to light
bringing her an awesome sight.

 

Rising tall above the waves
stood a beach with cliffs and caves
giving her the hope she craves
as it beckons, as it saves.

 

She took her chance, all or none,
swimming for the rising sun.
Long before that day was done
her bold dash for shore was won.

 

On a flood tide, she was swept.
In her gratefulness, she wept
as she came ashore, and stepped
over dry land where she slept.

Reviews

[Ghost of Jupiter]

Beautifully smooth read that tells a fascinating story with outstanding rhyme ... I can take this write to many levels of interpretation, unexpected hardships, battling life and emotions...the final passing into the unknown, it is all there in a brilliant poetic tale. Well done!

[Aethereal]

Thanks for your detailed review, Kalypso! I would continue this epic through one adventure after another, but it seems that sing-song epic poems have become a thing of the past.

[Ghost of Jupiter]

You could always bring them back around :)

[Aethereal]

I'm afraid that epic poems have been overshadowed by multi-million dollar block buster action movies.

[Chloe Yeoman]

very good rhythm, it drags you in and makes you feel as if you are there.

[Aethereal]

Thanks for your detailed review, Choe! Sometimes a poem makes its reader part of a dream.

[Kenaz]

Beautiful rhyme and rhythm. The only part that really stands out for me is the line "a flat beach with cliffs and caves" where I felt the rhythm fall off for a moment.

[Aethereal]

Thanks for your detailed review, Kenaz!

This verse could be written as:

Rising tall above the waves
stood a beach with cliffs and caves
giving her the hope she craves
as it beckons, as it saves.

[Kenaz]

yes, very good

[Aethereal]

Thanks for the hint. Perhaps the artical "a" should never be stressed in a poem. I'll change this verse to this new version soon.

[Abdul Aziz]

I love your rhymes, seriously! There is such delightful rhyming throughout the poetry which pervades within us and makes us feel happy. Rhyme always imparts a measure of hope to forlorn poetry, and as the ending to this story, which I believe might be an analogy for life, is quite optimistic, I think rhyme elevated this write to another level. It might be criminal to point out one stanza, but I just couldn't help but feel impressed by this one:
"All on board were lost but she,
Adriana floating free
clutching pieces of debris
at the mercy of the sea."
Awesome write yet again! Thank you for sharing :)

[Aethereal]

Thanks for your review and quote, Abdul! This is a powerful poem that feeds on the energy of rhyme and meter.

[Frieda P]

Great rhyming scheme here and I like your story within your poetry, very creative Aethereal, enjoyed.

[Aethereal]

Thanks for your review, Frieda! I'm happy that you enjoyed this adventure story.

[lee von cleef]

The Ashly and the Cooper, names where two meet, and out beyond, a bobbing bell rings, even beyond the broken battlements , a bobbing bell rings, where sea-bass swim tagged now( but they weren't back then) Then when the bobbing bell was dark out of sight,full of water the "NoTellin" was going down, and oh that ring, was left or ? right ? I had to think soon, because I had to let go, and save , what well , not much , but me.I learned a lesson swim or drown,the same way my mom taught me when I was young.things can go wrong.
Late at night, if you don't put the plug back in.The sound of a buoy bell is beautiful when you can hold on till the Harbor- master brings you home.

[Aethereal]

Thanks for your creative review, lee! We either sink or swimm unless we have a bobbing buoy bell to hang onto till the Harbor Master saves us.

[lee von cleef]

Thank you I love adding to your yeast.

[Aethereal]

I just watched the movie "Gravity" today. In this movie, I watched a lady swimming through outer-space in her spacesuit in an attempt to break out of orbit. I won't tell you any more since I don't want to spoil the movie for you. Great 3D view of the Earth in this movie.

[lee von cleef]

Wow will see if I can go too.

[Aethereal]

You would think that they read my poem before making this movie. Instead of a caravel they used a spaceship.

[SyberRose]

Nicely done...very creative...loved the theme and form....Rose:)

[Aethereal]

Thanks for your review, Rose!

[Lydia Shutter]

At first I believed Adriana was a ship....then at the end of your poem, I thought she was a passenger aboard the ship. Powerfully emotive....great rhyming. Lydi**

[Aethereal]

Thanks for your review, Lydia! The caravel was Adriana's ship. Adriana would make a good name for a ship too.

[Chris]

The beginning or middle of an Epic? It stands alone BUT you could add befores AND afters.

[Aethereal]

Thanks for your insightful review, Chis! I'm well aware that this poem could be a stepping off point to an epic ten thousand word story poem, the kind that Homer would have recited around a campfire in Ancient Athens. If only this was 600 BC, and I had such an understanding audience as Homer had?

[Chris]

He made HIS work to suit the times... so it did.

[lee von cleef]

I'll be back.................

[Aethereal]

Thanks, whenever you find time!