Got Your Eyes

Got Your Eyes

A Poem by [deleted]

Every curve of your sweet face

Each line the shadows trace

Holds me mesmerized

 

These feelings we’ve sustained

Are eloquently explained

When I meet your eyes

 

The lens cannot pretend

The truth we comprehend

My being quivers inside

 

A simple conversation

Completely intuitive relation

When I meet your eyes

 

That orchestra begins on cue

Intensifying our ache anew

Air between electrified

 

Evermore my heart does rest

In the tender allegiance manifest

When I meet your eyes

 

The whole world stops to wait

Lets the image permeate

Escaping from the guise

 

Ardent authenticity

It’s a magical simplicity

When I meet your eyes

© 2008 [deleted]


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I love most of the poem. I don't like the line " Evermore, my heart does rest" It sounds contrived and weakens the structure of this otherwise nice piece. Perhaps just changing the word "does" to the word "finds" might alleviate some of my discomfort. "Evermore, my heart finds rest... what do you think?

Posted 14 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Very good images and visuals and i love it ... it is really good .. sounds like love .. i love the lines, and last verse so much ...


Ardent authenticity

It's a magical simplicity

When I meet your eyes

So sweet!

Chloe
xoxo


Posted 14 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

This was cool! I like the imagery and intensity of the vibe passing between the eyes!
What happens if the person is wearing colored contacts? Does the vibe change? :)
Nice Work!

Posted 14 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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Added on March 9, 2008


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