A beautiful Dream

A beautiful Dream

A Story by Airafh
"

People nowadays are so occupied with their work life that they forget to live, they stop seeing the beauty around them, they pass by it every single day yet not realise and live it.

"

He wakes up to the alarm early morning with a frown, gets ready quickly for work, has breakfast and dashes out to catch the train to office.  Spends a hectic day at office he leaves for home gets into the crowded train and finally reaches home just like every other day. His life is mechanical. At night all tired he lays on his bed closes his eyes and sees something strange.  

He is walking barefoot on the moist grass. The sky filled with clouds, the land full of different trees and plants with flowers and fragrances; a cool gentle breeze blowing on his face carrying the wet earthly smell, the raintrees far away swaying with the wind as if dancing with them and on them the squirrels playing tirelessly and the birds singing to outdo each other. His pockets are empty there is no phone and no wallet; his mind is free there are no deadlines and no meeting agendas. He sits under the shade of a tree picks up a twig and doodles in the mud he then walks further and notices a flock of sparrows feeding on sunflower seeds and they all quickly fly away as he walks closer to them  he smiles and walks further towards a hill and notices that the sun is soon about to set and is slowly losing its shine and warmth, the sky turning orange slowly unfolding into different shades of colour, the far away mountains and trees turning into a silhoutte, he sits there to watch the sun go down and darkness takeover. The night too is mesmerising with the sky filled with thousand stars and the air filling with the scent of the night blooming jasmine and fireflies. A bright moon above his head and the distant noise of night crickets, he lays there on the grass looking at the stars in the sky; he closes his eyes and soon falls asleep and he wakes up to the alarm early morning with a smile, gets ready quickly for work and suddenly stops by his window to notice the squirrels playing on the tree outside his window, he waits at his window for a moment longer looks at all the trees around feels the morning breeze on his face, the smell of the flowers, the sun shining on his face he smiles takes a deep breath of that fresh morning air and gets back to his usual business still smiling and happy.

© 2017 Airafh


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I was lucky to grow up in the country, so I had nothing to do but go outside & explore nature. Your story is told in a way that draws in the reader. The first paragraph is written in a boring straightforward way to reflect the mood you’re trying to convey. When the dream begins, your writing is still a little bit stiff & predictable, even tho the guy is branching out & discovering life. It’s like he’s not very good at it yet. Then as your story goes on, your writing becomes more embellished & full of vivid details, conveying the sense of freedom more & more strongly. The very best part of your story is the way you did NOT explain the ending, but left it to the reader to derive the meaning: the guy’s dream taught him to pay attention even during his boring methodical daily routine. This is the way to SHOW instead of tell, when you have a lesson you want to impart to your readers (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

Posted 6 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Airafh

6 Years Ago

Oh dear Margie I love your feedbacks, I am so in love with nature and perhaps one day I shall leave .. read more


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Reviews

Beautifully written and a situation I can relate to. I too was caught up in the world of commerce and had a mad moment when I stripped off all my clothes and prostrated myself full length in a meadow of mixed grasses. It was heaven and I still think, to this day, it was a dream.

Posted 6 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Airafh

5 Years Ago

sorry for my utmost late revert. thank your for your kind words augustus, I wish to stay in this dre.. read more
the modern world has really invaded our minds; blinded us on what truly matters in our life. who truly lives? a man spending his whole day staring at a computer screen or a man staring out a window? instead of doing what we love, we do whatever financially supports us. money. money. money. great writing piece!

Posted 6 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Airafh

5 Years Ago

Really appreciate your comments, take a break open up your office window, turn of the ac and let tha.. read more
A good description about nature in story.....u know that your words were gradually forming images of the nature's beauty that brings a sense of delight.
Good work.
:)

Posted 6 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Airafh

6 Years Ago

Thank you so much Priyanshi. :)
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Hmmm.....just like when you're busy and how an hour of relaxing nap makes you feel!!
The earthy scent of greenary scenario.....The wet wind.....soothing atmosphere!!
Sometimes dreams are like paracetamols....they vanish the pain of the whole body.......without harming even an ounce!!
Loved this story extremely!
I need this in my library😀

Posted 6 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Airafh

6 Years Ago

Thank you Tahsin for your encouraging feedback.
¿

6 Years Ago

Thanks that you popped up! I almost forgot to get thid on my library....
You're welcome😊
I was lucky to grow up in the country, so I had nothing to do but go outside & explore nature. Your story is told in a way that draws in the reader. The first paragraph is written in a boring straightforward way to reflect the mood you’re trying to convey. When the dream begins, your writing is still a little bit stiff & predictable, even tho the guy is branching out & discovering life. It’s like he’s not very good at it yet. Then as your story goes on, your writing becomes more embellished & full of vivid details, conveying the sense of freedom more & more strongly. The very best part of your story is the way you did NOT explain the ending, but left it to the reader to derive the meaning: the guy’s dream taught him to pay attention even during his boring methodical daily routine. This is the way to SHOW instead of tell, when you have a lesson you want to impart to your readers (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

Posted 6 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Airafh

6 Years Ago

Oh dear Margie I love your feedbacks, I am so in love with nature and perhaps one day I shall leave .. read more

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5 Reviews
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Added on September 19, 2017
Last Updated on September 19, 2017


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