Loose

Loose

A Poem by Allison
"

Put in some effort, people!

"
Here in my hand I have my heart
With fingers slightly apart,
Everyone sees the outside,
But they think I am trying to hide,
I allow them to pry my fingers open,
But they do not even peer in,
The information stays in the dark;
On my hands, there is barely a mark,
I offer my loosened hand to them,
But they do not think it is a gem.
"Do they think it is solid?"
I ask, looking at the loose lid,
There has to be someone willing to enter,
But will they try to reach the center?

© 2013 Allison


Author's Note

Allison
Tell me what you think. I am not much for poetry, but I do try it now and then.

My Review

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Featured Review

I really like this poem, the rhyme scheme is fantastic and the message isn't lost inside them but instead carries it better. My FAV lines are the last two
"There has to be someone willing to enter,
but will they try to reach the centre?"
I believe you have talent 8D

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

Will they put time and effort to see who you are truly? I've asked this question. Great work!

Posted 6 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Allison

6 Years Ago

Thank you!!
A poem woven with excellent skill! Brilliant write!

Posted 6 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Allison

6 Years Ago

Thank you so much!!! ^^
I think you did a really good job :) a very good idea :)

Posted 6 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Allison

6 Years Ago

Thank you!!! ^^
I really like
A wonderful try
keep it up

Posted 6 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Allison

6 Years Ago

Thank you very much!! :D
Adam Lebzo -RonninWarrior-

6 Years Ago

thank you for writing!
I can relate! I seriously wrote a poem Soo similar to this!! It's either called "fragile" or "my heart"... Can't remember. So good though. I enjoyed this poem of yours.

Posted 6 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Allison

6 Years Ago

Thank You!!! ^^
Awww ! You offer your heart in an
open hand, but people see only a lump.
You would like people to see inside, to where
lies the gold and silver of life untouched and
offered in generosity, with grace.
----- Eagle Cruagh

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Allison

7 Years Ago

I love how you worded that! And thank you for the review!! ^^
Very well written you should most def write more poems this is great!

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Allison

7 Years Ago

Thanks!! ^^
It's really well done, and quite amazing. If I hadn't read your author's note then I would never have guessed that you didn't write poetry often.

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

nice flow

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

your hearts a lock that needs a key,who? we'll just wait and see ;D

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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672 Views
14 Reviews
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Added on October 19, 2011
Last Updated on October 23, 2013
Tags: lonely, free, open, loose, heart, hand, shy, misunderstood, love, please, beg, try, attempt, effort

Author

Allison
Allison

PA



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