"Army of One"

Army of One" was a relatively short-lived recruiting slogan. The slogan "Army of One" is contrary to the idea of teamwork. Over the last several years I have often times felt as if I was an army of one in certain areas in life. Not long ago I had this picture in my mind of myself as a soldier standing in the middle of an open field surrounded by the enemy. Have you ever felt like that, like you were facing a battle and you stood alone? As if no one around you could help you fight through your situation. No teamwork, Just you!

 

Well it so happens that this past week that same circumstance occurred again in my life and like so many times before I was in a situation were I was all alone in battle for this particular war. So as I always do I began speaking to the Father. Not necessarily praying this elaborate prayer. It was more of me rambling and whining because of how alone I felt in this part of my life. In this battle that has seemed to reoccur year after year. This time His response was immediate. I felt the Lord speaking to me telling me that I have never been alone. He has been there throughout this battle that seems to repeat itself time and time again. A battle that could have been won years ago if only I had let go and trusted Him to lead my army. So many times we go into the battle field thinking we could handle it, and then we get so discouraged when we don't get Victory over our situation. At least I know that has been me.

 

I have said to God: Lord I have prayed, I have sought Your face, I have worshiped my way through it and yet I stand alone with no answers to this problem. Why do I even bother at times if nothing I am doing is working? I felt in my Spirit the Lord say: It is because it is you doing it.. You talk to me, you ask Me, but you never let me have control of it. It is because so many times we think we are equipped enough to handle these battles. So many times we convince ourselves that because we pray, we worship, we fast, that we are trusting God to overcome our circumstances, but many times when we are handing it over to Him, we are really playing tug of war with Him. We ask Him to handle it, we claim victory over it before it's even over but we never truly let go of it. There are things we say and things we do that tells the Father that we are still holding on and not truly trusting Him.

 

So this time I sought after His answers instead of my own. I went into the book of Psalms because I needed to feel loved and secured by my Father and instantly the Lord took me to

Psalm 34:17 The righteous cry out, and the Lord hears, and He delivers them from all their troubles. As you can see it says: He delivers, not we deliver. If we can only understand that there is nothing we can do on our own to heal the circumstances in our lives, it is only God who has the power to deliver us out of the battlegrounds we find ourselves in. So, now after years of trying to tackle this alone and developing severe anxiety, I have decided to just breathe. I sat down and began to pray and this time I also listened for instruction. I got deeper into His word and found many scriptures of encouragement. My favorite was Joshua 1:9  “Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.

 

I have read that scripture many times over the years, but in this moment something registered with me and as I closed my eyes I again saw myself in this battlefield, but now there is also an army of God's soldiers standing with me. I saw my army in a size much greater then the enemies army. I began to see this vision of a shadow towering over the battlegrounds, and at that moment I knew that I had finally allowed the Lord to win this battle that I held onto for so many years. Instant changes are taking place within me. Maybe those circumstances will take time to change or to heal but the change began in me immediately. I began to see the battle as something that is soon to be won instead of a life time of repeated pain. I began to feel instant relief of worry and frustration. I began to feel hopeful and encouraged. I knew at that moment that I was no longer a soldier of One, but that I belonged to the Army of God who reigns Victorious in all area's. So the gist of the story is that you are not alone. God is with you and has been with you from the beginning. We are so much more peaceful and joyful in all situations if only we were to trust Him to carry out His promises over our lives. Do not stay and Army of One, but become a part of the Army of God!

 

                                                    Karen Hurl

                 6/15/16