Make Sure You�ll Say Goodbye

Make Sure You�ll Say Goodbye

A Poem by Ian
"

It's the end... or not?

"

One less second, one more gone

They’re leaving, no come back

Tic ‘n toc they won’t stop

Silently the time will come

 

And we’re drifting away [Wasting away]

With every second that goes by

We wish we could stop [Escape from the time]

Don’t let me leave just yet

 

And we pray to the Lord

For angels to keep us safe

In this road out of the world

Let’s all walk to the light

 

And we’re drifting away [Wasting away]

With every second that goes by

We wish we could stop [Escape from the time]

Don’t let me leave just yet

 

Goodbye to the world [Goodbye, goodbye]

Goodbye to the world [Goodbye, goodbye]

Goodbye to the world [Goodbye, goodbye]

Goodbye to the world

© 2009 Ian


Author's Note

Ian
What do you think? Thanks for reading!

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Featured Review

I think this is beautifully written. I really like the use of the red lines and how they stand out in their own way but also fit in so well with the rest of the lyrical poem/song. The only thing that caught my attention was "They're leaving, no come back"....The last part is a little awkward to read. Should it be that none come back?
Good Write.


Happy Writing.

=YourMidnightSecret=

Posted 15 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

This was soo good, for some reason as I was readin it it had a almost a musical vibe to it, I could deffinetly see this being a song..
Great write.

Posted 14 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

=D i love this its like amazing!!!!!!

Posted 14 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I think this is beautifully written. I really like the use of the red lines and how they stand out in their own way but also fit in so well with the rest of the lyrical poem/song. The only thing that caught my attention was "They're leaving, no come back"....The last part is a little awkward to read. Should it be that none come back?
Good Write.


Happy Writing.

=YourMidnightSecret=

Posted 15 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Simple but deep. That is the beauty of writing lyrically.

Posted 15 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

all i can say is "so awesome, so true"....

Posted 15 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

i thought it was awesome. flowed really well and i like the use of the different color :)

Posted 15 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

This one is pretty different from the rest. Art; innovation, good job!

Posted 15 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

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As a song, it would have been great if it was a soft one, but begins to be harder as from stanza 4 .. with a female voice singing the red parts .. it would have been a bit like 'Freak on a Leash' by Korn ft Amy Lee .. well, that's my personal opinion ..
I liked these lines:
"And we pray to the Lord
For angels to keep us safe
In this road out of the world
Let's all walk to the light"
I perceive this as an irony .. the fact that you pray to the Lord for angels to keep you safe and that you're not walking in this world means either you've lost faith in the world itself and want liberation from all that connect God and Humans .. liberation from all that this world is giving you, that's why you are out of this world, walking to the light - a place you want to belong but cannot find it...
Nice job!
~Kavish~


Posted 15 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

"One less second, one more gone
They're leaving, no come back
Tic 'n toc they won't stop
Silently the time will come"
That was really neat.
It had a dooming rhythm to it, which was cool.
Excellent write!
-Elissa :)


Posted 15 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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433 Views
9 Reviews
Rating
Shelved in 2 Libraries
Added on May 22, 2009
Last Updated on May 23, 2009

Author

Ian
Ian

El Salvador



About
Hi, my name is Ian… I’ve lived 18 years so far; nothing at all, just a sparkle, a blink… but enough to know that this isn’t an easy road… 18 years of questioning m.. more..

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