Swim

Swim

A Chapter by AleyshaRosa

A school of little green fish swarm my eyes, than swim away just as quickly.

Well hello there…” The room spins and the fish return. “Don’t leave yet…” These words echoing is this dark room sound ludicrous, but I don’t mind. At least there’s a sound. At least there’s evidence I’m still alive.

The fish giggle and swirl, floating through the endlessness above me like flitting clouds.

You're gonna get it...” They sing, smiling selfishly to themselves.

One turns to me, his scales matte black and silver eyes that glare down at me.

You're really gonna get it...” It growls. Then its eyes suddenly explode and splatter the wall with glitter. He smiles and flickers his fins.

Flicker, flicker, flicker...

I shudder as the glitter rains from the ceiling like confetti celebrating my slow demise.

Happy Birthday...

I listen desperately for the name that would follow... Something, anything...

Eyes that burn as toxic as the end of a cigarette encircle me, encase me in pain that abruptly makes itself known within every one of my wounds.

Flicker, flicker, flicker...

Those eyes. Those hands. I shudder and cry out without a sound as demon fingers slide across my abdomen.



© 2012 AleyshaRosa


Author's Note

AleyshaRosa
Also rewrote present tense

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Reviews

Another amazing chapter! Again, a veeeery minor grammatical error and a little typo I want to point out (please excuse my nit-picky-ness, I just want to help out as much as I can!)
-"A school of little green fish swarm my eyes, than swim away just as quickly" should be "/THEN/ swim away just as quickly."
-"These words echoing is this..."; should 'is' be 'in'?

Posted 6 Years Ago


This is very very interesting, in the best kind I way I really enjoyed this. He images and use of words as well formatting how it was all set up. Awesome work from top to bottom.

Posted 6 Years Ago


AleyshaRosa

6 Years Ago

Thanks, Alan =]
what can i say about that huh?

Posted 6 Years Ago


AleyshaRosa

6 Years Ago

Well now, I'm just not sure...
Chandler bing

6 Years Ago

hahahaha right its great.
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Pax
Intriguing birthday??...must read more...

Posted 7 Years Ago


AleyshaRosa

7 Years Ago

Something like that. Thanks, Pax
Great visuals!
"its eyes suddenly explode and splatter the wall with glitter. He smiles and flickers his fins." This is so interesting. :)

Posted 7 Years Ago


AleyshaRosa

7 Years Ago

Mmm I love the fish in this one too, they're my favourite
Thanks =]
"I shudder as the glitter rains from the ceiling like confetti celebrating my slow demise." this may be the most epic simile ive ever seen. again packed with descriptions that paint a good picture. alas i am disappointed it ended, but ill just have to read on.

Posted 7 Years Ago


AleyshaRosa

7 Years Ago

Indeed you shall. Thanks for the review =] (thats one of my favourite similes too) Happy Birthday, J.. read more
This is very good, I greatly enjoyed this. I thought this is extremely entertaining and grasping to the reader. Well Done!

Posted 7 Years Ago


AleyshaRosa

7 Years Ago

Thanks =]
Putting out another chapter today
I've realilzed this is very abstract :D I like me the abstract art ;D

Posted 7 Years Ago


AleyshaRosa

7 Years Ago

Indeed it is. Feels so natural to get into that zone and create a (non) existent world. Glad you lik.. read more
Wow, pretty good. Very confusing, cant wait to read more

Posted 7 Years Ago


AleyshaRosa

7 Years Ago

Thanks =]
More is coming

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388 Views
9 Reviews
Rating
Added on October 12, 2012
Last Updated on October 16, 2012
Tags: intensity, trip, drug, swim


Author

AleyshaRosa
AleyshaRosa

Abbotsford, BC, Canada



About
Canadian, eh? I've been writing since I was 13 (I'm now 18) and have recently started back up on writing a novel that I'm now half through. I mostly write prose poems and short stories with a tonne .. more..

Writing
Kill Me. Kill Me.

A Poem by AleyshaRosa



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