Trip

A shudder rolls across my chest and the cold linoleum stings the tender flesh of my back. A gaping hole is all that is left of the door; it seems to talk. It speaks tacitly with that wide, black mouth. The hole bounces, quivers and gleaming spikes grow from the rims.

A sliver shoves itself deeper into my back as my body spontaneously shudders for the millionth time. Sweat beads on my forehead and turns to ice. The room shrinks, grows, shrinks and magnifies itself. Eyes pop open above the hole and the blinding white teeth grind together. I wanted to scream, but the numbness in my brain won’t allow it.

Maroon leaks from my deep wounds; it slithers across the floor and around my head, circling and watching like a lion. It follows its prey�"ready to kill. The red, greasy fingers of this creature tickle my arms and stomach.

For a single second, I remember the events previous to this moment. An explosion erupts in my head like a great forest fire, then, as quickly as it had appeared; it dies into a pile of ashes and thick black smoke. Destruction came and went before I could catch a glimpse of it.

My tongue feels dry and swollen in my mouth and a long, dried line of blood crusts along my cheekbone. I don’t mind, really; As long as I don’t have to feel it after. There’s nothing else to do, there’s nothing else here.

The monster blinks and opens his black eyes, then growls between silver teeth.

“You are a stupid, stupid girl.”

A smile falls on my slit lips and I close my eyes�"breathe in the metallic scent of blood.

“I know.”

I sigh and open my eyes again. The monster opens his endless mouth to say something, than shuts it abruptly as if humiliated.

“I know.”

Author's Note

Rewrote it in present tense, better?

Reviews

[Tiffany Kelley]

Reading this was like reading a dictionary: there was an endless amount of sincere words. You lost me, but in a good way. I was lost in the story. This is one of the most amazing first chapters I have ever read in my entire life. Why is this not on shelves yet? This chapter one is enough to be published alone. I am still flabbergasted by your word choices. I was there. This is me you wrote about. This is everyone. Great job for putting me right into the story. I cannot wait to finish the rest of this. Never stop writing. The world of literature would be doomed without you!

[AleyshaRosa]

Oh my! What a compliment! Thank you so much, Tiffany!
My aim is always to capture the reader and hold them in my grasp (no matter how twisted) the entire time. I'm glad it worked =P

Thanks again, Tiffany =]

[A. Amos]

Great start looking forward to continue...

[Cassy Samuels]

Must knw what happens next...Suspense!

[De-personalize Yourself]

This is awesome! I love reading about surreal experiences, especially when they are as beautifully detailed as this! However, I want to point out a very minor grammatical errors. "I wanted to scream, but the numbness in my brain won’t allow it." should be "I /want/ to scream" to maintain present tense.
Really really amazing imagery, I will definitely be reading the rest xox

[JC]

I'm hooked like burroughs and heroin. awesome.

[AleyshaRosa]

Thanks, Jason =]
Burroughs and heroin... Definitely.

[AsTheKissIgnites]

I was astonished, flabbergasted by the words choice. Great work, mate :'D

[AleyshaRosa]

Well thank ya, AKI =]

[Charles Anthony Almanza]

Whao. Awash in a gorgeous, eerie feeling, it ends as abruptly as it begins.
Love it.

x

[AleyshaRosa]

Wow, thanks =]

[The Invisible Girl]

Very interesting! Reading the next chapter! :) 100/100

[AleyshaRosa]

Thanks so much. Just posted another chapter btw =]
Christmas

[GypsyAlien3303]

I'm intrigued... Must read more... :)

[AleyshaRosa]

More chapters still to come...

[Pax]

intense choice of words...its something very vivid...very nice...

[AleyshaRosa]

Thanks, Pax.. =]
Vivid... perfect. It's what I aim to do