sink

sink

A Poem by AleyshaRosa

i sink below the surface

not on purpose

i didnt mean to

i promise


watch me drown

drag me down

into your depths

show me your crown


your waves crash

malicious, they bash

to i, unforgiven

they thrash


what have i done

to deserve this gun

shooting bullets of blue

shattering my only sun


so swallow me whole

until you are nothing less than full

eat me alive 

so you may forever thrive 

© 2012 AleyshaRosa


Author's Note

AleyshaRosa
I couldn't bring my fingers to write another word.
Also, note the rhyme scheme is a,a,b,a

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Reviews

the depth and emotion behind this is completely astonishing. im starting to wonder if theres anything you cant do.. the blunt pieces of anger, now with this thats so much more than it reads alone.. and then theres your playing on the rhyming scheme.. ok im going to start rambling if i dont wrap this up. its beautifully penned, and another simply great one from you. there, no more rambling.. atleast until i read your next one probably lol.

Posted 11 Years Ago


AleyshaRosa

11 Years Ago

Wow, thank you so much, Jack.
I always appreciate your reviews, but this... Well flattering i.. read more
Wow. This is amazing! Maybe because I've been reading The Odyssey, but I thought of Poseidon, with the mention of the crown, and what I infer to be a hurricane. This is beautiful work, I really loved it :) 100/100

Posted 11 Years Ago


AleyshaRosa

11 Years Ago

As always,
Thank you, Tunder
I always appreciate your reviews =]
nice write. i dont blame u for not writing more its depth is almost maddening. wonderful

Posted 11 Years Ago


AleyshaRosa

11 Years Ago

Wow, thanks, TR =]

Well, the title IS "sink" =P
Jordan's Back

11 Years Ago

HEY! You sunk my Battleship!!! :P
AleyshaRosa

11 Years Ago

Bwa ha ha ha!
Nooo I sunk your DESTROYER! =P
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Very interesting concept. Taunting victory while currently being diminished by something negative in some shape, form, or fashion. I like it. Great work. :)

Posted 11 Years Ago


AleyshaRosa

11 Years Ago

Thanks for the insight and review, BP =]
wow this has some real emotion behind it! keep up the good work

Posted 11 Years Ago


AleyshaRosa

11 Years Ago

Thank you, DB
I will try =P
This is wonderful . You are very skilled !

Posted 11 Years Ago


AleyshaRosa

11 Years Ago

Thank you very much, WS =]
Moon

11 Years Ago

You are welcome , AR lol
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X
This is awesome. My favorite work of yours yet- perhaps because is reminds me of my own prose. Short, sweet, and an alternating rhyme scheme that isn't afraid to go against the grain! Like the author, I'm assuming. A good one :)

X

Posted 11 Years Ago


AleyshaRosa

11 Years Ago

Thank you, X =]
I love bending rhyming rules, following something either than a,a,b,b. I alway.. read more
X

11 Years Ago

No problem :) As do I- anything that I can do to go against the grain ;) Flattered that you value my.. read more
Very clever for you to note the rhyme scheme. I enjoy it. 'Tis very spectacular. One think I am glad to have read upon my return to the site. Continue with such strength. ;)
99/100
Best of luck.

Posted 11 Years Ago


AleyshaRosa

11 Years Ago

Thanks, TLE =]
Well, I'm glad that I was a good start to digging through the 80 deep read requ.. read more
TheLastEclipse

11 Years Ago

Yeah... Try 168. :P
But you are very welcome
The longing is not ignored, easily felt. That last stanza is pretty intense, as you allow him to consume your life so he may feel content with his... Very nice!

Posted 11 Years Ago


AleyshaRosa

11 Years Ago

Thanks so much, Damien =]
Mmm yes... Honestly I was going to post the poem as only one stanza:.. read more

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366 Views
9 Reviews
Rating
Shelved in 2 Libraries
Added on November 17, 2012
Last Updated on November 17, 2012

Author

AleyshaRosa
AleyshaRosa

Abbotsford, BC, Canada



About
Canadian, eh? I've been writing since I was 13 (I'm now 18) and have recently started back up on writing a novel that I'm now half through. I mostly write prose poems and short stories with a tonne .. more..

Writing
Kill Me. Kill Me.

A Poem by AleyshaRosa



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