Broken

Yet another questionable creation from the wonderful world of poetry written at one AM.

Somebody fix my nose

‘Cause it’s broken.

Got too involved in other people’s battles

To know when it was time to back down.

 

Somebody fix my hand

‘Cause it’s broken.

Tried to fight my own way out,

But I guess I’m not strong enough for that.

 

Somebody fix my back

‘Cause it’s broken,

Messed up trying to carry the weight of a world

That didn’t want my compassion.

 

Somebody fix my mind

‘Cause it’s broken.

They told me that I thought too much.

Didn’t think the pain could be real.

 

Somebody fix my feet

‘Cause they’re broken.

Can’t do the work I’m called to do

When they’re bloody and nailed to the ground.

 

Somebody fix my heart

‘Cause it’s broken.

Loving human beings is too painful

For a human being to take.

 

Somebody fix my legs

‘Cause they’re broken.

Used to always walk beside you;

Now I’m the one who needs support.

 

Somebody fix my arms

‘Cause they’re broken.

Even if I could raise them for one embrace,

You’d slip right between the bones.

 

Somebody fix my ears and eyes

And lips and tongue,

'Cause I can’t listen, can’t speak,

Can’t be any harbor of refuge

When the anchoring-place is destroyed.

 

Somebody fix my lungs

‘Cause they’re broken.

The screaming of my misery

Comes out like a dying gasp.

 

Somebody fix this world

‘Cause it’s broken,

A body that’s been too long

Without a Spirit for a guide.

 

Somebody fix my soul

‘Cause it’s broken.

But I doubt it’s possible to heal something

That’s never before been whole.

Author's Note

Isn't it fun being human?

Reviews

[GalaxyGhost]

This is such a beautiful poem and please don't mind me as I go on the spiritual/religious side because in church, a teacher told me that there is nothing broken that Christ can fix. Yeah, I'm pretty religious. You know, stepping asides the religious side, spiritual people have beautiful souls. I think you're a fantastic poet!

[AliciaB]

Thank you very much! No worries at all about getting spiritual/religious about it... it's a poem, and open to interpretation, after all. (And I'm quite honored that you saw it in that light, because that's very similar to my take on it!) :) Thank you for the lovely review!

[GalaxyGhost]

You are so welcome!

[zunie frost]

very attractive title ..
like it very much and also love reading your work

[AliciaB]

Thank you!

[mattavelli]

Hello, Alicia.:)
I really enjoyed your poem. As the repetition was starting to get on my nerves, you switched it up, nice tension and release! Your last stanza, the "but" doesnt work with the phrasing.

[AliciaB]

Thank you! Sorry to get on your nerves. :) I agree that the "But" is a little off, but it works with the rhythm if you think of it and the "I" as very short (kind of like a pick-up note in music, a note that comes before the start of the actual measure.) Plus, this is free verse, so I took a little liberty in terms of the phrasing. :) I do appreciate the feedback, though. Thanks again!

[LastMonth]

Harsh.
You manuver the escalation well, not falling for the temptation to shock the reader with too much, too quickly. The fall is not steep, but these are the most frustrating of falls. You see yourself descent lower and lower, each time you try to set your feet, you cannot prevent the slide, and the pitch black void that awaits at the bottom is getting bigger and bigger, not quickly enough to make it less painful.

All very inevitable. In the worst way.
If I had to sum up the emotions and ideas I absorbed from this poem, I'll drain it down to one simple question.

Would you rather be shot in the head?
Or would you rather be shot in the legs first, fall on your knees, then in the shoulders, the belly, the heart-- And then finally a merciful blow to the head.

The one that caught my attention the most was about the back.
Despite all this suffering and pain the POV still tries to carry burdens. Should she? Should he?
The answer, in my honest opinion is a brutally blunt-- Yes.

In my most difficult of times, it was the burdens that kept me going.
It was doing something for someone else, something for another. Knowing that someone depends on you, that can sometime fend off the loneliness, the darkness and the difficulty. You're not going to be happy, but it'll keep you going. And who knows? Happiness might just follow.

Thank you for a poem that invoked alot of thought.

[AliciaB]

Wow. Thank you for the awesome review. To be honest, I wasn't thinking too deeply into this as I wrote it, but you definitely opened my eyes to some very thought-provoking points. Thank you for doing that. I'm glad you could get so much out of it!

[Centipedle]

Being human is the hardest thing to do. Our thoughts and nature is both a blessing and a curse. It's beautiful and endearing. Thank you for writing this, pen on.

[AliciaB]

Thank you!

[Sarah Wilson]

Very powerful! I love how each phrase grasps you. It paints a picture of someone who has been totally beaten trying to take care of others

[AliciaB]

Thank you very much!

[Desert Rose]

this was surreal...
i loved every bit of it...
the imagery, the structure...as solid as you are standing despite being broken...
you give me hope..
thanks!

[AliciaB]

Thank you so much! I appreciate it!

[Gaia Octavia]

This is such a striking and relatable piece. Great imagery and texture throughout; it's almost like you can feel it in your fingers as you read it. Great imagery throughout as well and I particularly enjoyed your poetic phrasing. "You’d slip right between the bones" is my favorite line of many great ones. Well done!

The jury is in: 1 AM writing seems the perfect time ☺

[AliciaB]

Haha! :) Thank you!

[Shabeeh Haider]

Man is built weak. He gets broken easily, often for the wrong reasons. What should not get broken is ones spirit. That keeps him going on and on.
The concluding stanza is simply wonderful.

[AliciaB]

Thank you so much! I'm glad you liked it.

[Bobinclear]

ahahah at times, its funny being human. Nice Piece though

[AliciaB]

Thank you!