The Unknown

I wouldn't call it a story... It's just an essay I wrote a while ago

It's so much easier to imagine what's going on inside one's head. Imagine one's perspective, one's thoughts, one's reception of the wave frequencies. It's so much easier because all you have to do is i-m-a-g-i-n-e, let the creativity flow. The unknown seem to scare us, make us flee into another world of imagination. Basically, you just can't live and make up with the unknown. You always say to yourself 'There must be something... Something not so unknown, something I'd understand, something I can relate to, something I can divine, something I can create, I can imagine.' Of course, I could simply call it curiosity, but as a matter of fact, it's just pure angst! The more you know about the unknown the bigger that angst becomes.

For instance, let's have a person who embodies the unknown. Again, I will have to use that word 'imagine'; Imagine that person's body, their features, the monotony in their daily life, just imagine that person being the object of your observation and here you are, in front of the unknown, nothing could be more distant than that body. There are a few stages of demeanor when confronted with the unknown. It all starts off with endless excitement, a sudden twist in your routine, you feel as if something has finally happened in your stuffy existence. The second stage slowly arrives after a few weeks; the excitement converts into a creativity flow, that's when you start to imagine! You wonder about that individual's age, name, nationality or even family situation and everything is based upon your observations. You're creating a whole new world and everything is invented only by you, everything's artificial but you're so desperately drawn to the unknown that you must imagine, you MUST try to understand. After that stage your being is getting overwhelmed by an other feeling; You start to wonder what's that all about and why, you look for purposes, there must be a reason this unknown is drawing your attention. At first it was just a frenzy and now it alters into a ridiculous infatuation. That passion for the unknown, the longing for it is everywhere, it invades your whole body, your mind, it inhabits your four walls, you're not ready to give up. The final stage occurs after a few months, when you're all worn out by the sleepless nights and the permanent framing, writing and creating. Sometimes you're at your lowest and all you can think of is abandonment, you just want to throw it all away, wake up and stop striving the unknown, kill that curiosity that's been eating you alive for months. Or no, I'm sorry, at that stage it's not curiosity any more, it is what we call the bloodsucking angst.
You walk the streets like a robot. With alienated eyes, with an obsessed smile you scream indirectly at people ' Take me away from here! Don't you see? I'm getting nuts! Put me in an asylum, I don't care! Just take me away from this yearning for the unknown; Find me a remedy.' And you keep smiling.
Not attraction, let's not call it that. It's fanaticism at that point. It's the unknown being more than a physical body, more than flesh and bones and moist, it's the unknown acquiring the essence of the Divine, of the spiritual and GOD.

Author's Note

English is not my first language (In fact, I speak 7 languages) and it is hard for me to get the grammar/vocabulary and expression completely right while writing (in every language actually).
But I would like to hear your opinion:) Thanks