Poetry Awaits (Apparently)

 

Apparently,

 I thump my thighs

missing a beat

left by my side

in the argument

of confusion...

 

Apparently, 

 I look the fool

aimlessly adrift

forlorn in my

abstract direction

looking for keys…

 

Apparently,

 I’m not the boy

playing baseball

in back my house

the weakest one

doing his best                                                                        

to succeed, not to fail...

 

Apparently,

 I fantasize, still do at 52

‘bout being the best

standing straight

and erect

at five feet five

It’s always been

it always will…

 

Apparently,

 my dormant tracks

came fool circle

with endless

Cheshire cat-like grins

pretending I’m in,

but I’m not...

 

Apparently,

 and eventually

the laughter subsides

and the hurt

hides inside

while the clown reappears

or the drum rat-a-tats

and the pain still remains...

 

Apparently,

 I died a million times

I’ve sailed

the dreaded seas

near and far

upon the ship

taking one last trip...

 

Actually,

 I’ve learned to cope

and deal with the disease

while I live the life

and the hand

I’ve been dealt...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Author's Note

Written: July 25, 2002 (Myrtle Beach, SC)
Photo: Jan 19, 2011 (Key West)

I think this need some revisions...as I reread it....will work on it and repost with some changes..............................i think.

Reviews

[K writes]

Actually, 'I love this write..
Like and enjoy your style

[Allen Smuckler]

Thanks Kaykey... I like to change things up, you know use different forms and styles...keeps me fresh. Always appreciate your feedback Misfit writer. Allen

[MoriartyMesa]

The only thing that comes to mind while reading, is from a group that is far better than me in expressing feeling.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kdDtOOJgTzc

[john alan willox]

apparently you know what you write and do it vey well - thanks.

[Mark]

The whole theme seems to be the lies he tells himself, trying to be what in his heart he knows he's not. My favorite line? "...the laughter subsides while the hurt hides inside." I can't help but wonder whether "fool circle" was intentional, or if you perhaps meant "FULL circle", as the context suggests? Or was it an intentional play on words, and I'm just being obtuse?

[patricia]

This was superb! The sixth stanza was my favourite. The recognition of our masks, and the way you penned it was very moving. Made me smile as I have before at the knowing why we do what we do doesnt change a damn thing. If you know what I mean. Great work Alan, I see you are a fine poet as well as a novelist.

[Victoria PoetryBunny]

Powerful write about one who deals with things they are going through. Nice picture, nice title, nice write. I like this part here:
"with endless
Cheshire cat-like grins
pretending I’m in,
but I’m not..."
I also enjoyed the ending stanzas after that part.

[Audrey Howitt]

Still loving this

[jerry atrixx]

You wrote this about me. Least it I can relate to it. Good job. strong 1st person narrative. Very personable.

[Robbie~xoxo~]

As I read this, I see pride within the sadness. We try our best to deal with what life hands us... even though we age and our bodies get worn and torn through the years, it is how we hold ourselves and stand up straight that counts... always trying to be the best of ourselves no matter what the circumstances are. That to me, shows inner strength. We all go through self doubt, but pushing though it, is an admirable trait in my eyes. This piece truly speaks to me. Thank you for sharing it. Excellent write!

[Muse]

This part touched me..

Apparently,

my dormant tracks

came fool circle

with endless

Cheshire cat-like grins

pretending I’m in,

but I’m not...


Even as an adult...the eccentric ones...always feel like the odd duck out. :(