Never Truly Know Yourself

I guess you never truly know yourself,
Until you learn that you've lost who you are.
Letting the darkness slowly invade your soul,
Draining every precious emotion you have, more every second.

You don't see it coming until it hits you;
Consuming your thoughts,
Diverting your course.
To somewhere you don't want to be.

But you know you'll end up there;
If you try to fight it-
Or not.
I feel numb.

I wear a mask
To not allow people to know how I really am.
Perhaps, if I keep up the charade long enough.
Then i'll begin to believe it myself.

I lie to everyone, everyday
But I don't know if I'm doing it for them or me,
Because if I begin to tell people, the truth
Then suddenly; it's reality.

People talk to me and ask me questions
I still answer like I always have done-
Looking for the good in everything,
But, this time my answers completly contradict what I want to say.

How are you?
Good ( Exhausted)
How's your day going?
Great ( Worst than yesterday)

Can you leave me alone? ( PLEASE stay)
Just be quiet! ( Tell me everything's going to be alright.)
I don't want to talk about it. ( I need someone to listen)
I'm feeling better. ( It's like I'm dying inside)

The moment when you are compltely falling apart,
and nobody notices...

Author's Note

This is my first time on the website, I'm 14 and my spelling is terrible.

Reviews

[iLaG]

You have a good concept here. I like the ideas your playing with. It needs work though. I think you should write a second draft focusing on your word choice. I think that you can come up with some potent words and phrases to convey this message. If you do write a second draft let me know and I'll look at it.

[Alone In A Crowd]

Thank you for your comment, this is my first poem I've wrote on here and I will write it out again changing some of the words to potray a more powerful meaning and hopefully if it works I'll put it up on here. I'll definately work on what your saying.

[Cool Handless Luke]

grammar and spelling and punctuation are always something to work on, something anyone can do so don't be frustrated or down on yourself for that stuff. what you have been able to craft and grasp the concept here is conveying raw emotions which suggests and open line flowing straight from your heart to the paper or computer screen. those are the things that matter. using imagery and words to place other people in your shoes. to make them laugh or cry or hurt. you have that gift - there is no denying it. there are many great writers on here. and there are many who are just writing only what they know even if there is no craft to it. they may have the best stories and most heartfelt memories inspiring them but that does not a poet make. YOU have the gift and it's all a matter of how you foster and cherish it and where you take it. it doesn't have to be all about what you know. seek out others and what interests you in them. grasp other concepts. try and place yourself in other shoes. this also is very cathartic because it helps you escape the very shoes you don't like living in sometimes. expand your craft and you will find the possibilities are endless. but never give up on what you have inside of you and never deem yourself unworthy. there is an old indian story about a chief teaching his grandson a lesson and he tells him that inside each of us are two wolves fighting for our souls. one is a good wolf and he stands for humility, and joy and loyalty and honor and charity and kindess. and the other wolf stands for fear and anger and hatred and self-doubt and confusion. they wage this war inside of you the chief tells his grandson. the boy thinks a minute and then asks his grandfather..."which one will win?" the old chief looks down at him and says simply..."the one that you feed."

[Alone In A Crowd]

Thank you for your review, I'll definatley try to explore various other concepts, and poem types. I'll also work on my spelling( always one of my downfalls.) The old Indian story is truly inspiring, even though it's short; most people can relate to it ( I know I can) and I love the last part "the one that you feed." It finishes the message bluntly, but deeply with a meaning behind it. Thank you again for your comment. I'll take on bord what your saying.

[Blue Belle]

The emotion really gets to me at the end. Great job. Take Care! Stay Strong! :)

[Alone In A Crowd]

Thank you so much, and I have been reading some of your writing- I think it's great and I can relate. Thank you for writing and please don't stop.

[Blue Belle]

Your welcome :)