Isolated - Part II

Isolated - Part II

A Story by Alpris
"

Part 2 of Isolated.

"
I don't know what I expected when I entered our room shortly after leaving Eve and Gabrielle in the hallway. I knew it might be something mean, because my senses were hyperactive and I heard a barely-audible snicker as soon as my bare feet landed on the plush cream coloured carpet.
As I passed Gabrielle's section of the room -my left thigh grazing her bed- I took her posters, desk, bookshelf and bits of clothing all over the floor in. However, noticing nothing wrong in here refused to still my pounding heart. I knew I was wasting time trying to recognize any signs of sabotage here. The "surprise" would have been planted in my room.
Cautiously, I passed on through to Gabrielle's sun room, which had been converted into a too-small room for me.
It suddenly looked very big now, as my eyes wandered over every one of my possessions: my bed, the blue bookshelf my dad had painted for me before he had a stroke. None of my posters appeared to be ripped or torn down the middle or drawn on. I didn't smell anything that suggested one of my sisters dumped the kitchen trashcan contents in here, either. Nothing seemed out of place or tampered with, and I felt the tightness in my chest slowly start to ease.
There was nothing here. They had simply tricked me.
Feeling annoyed yet relieved and containing the urge to laugh out loud with joy, I walked over to my bed and collapsed onto it. I drank in the comforting rustle of my sheets and rolled my head around on the marshmallow-like pink and white pillow. As I did, my gaze landed on the wall opposite my bed. The wall I hadn't even looked at as I entered. My heart leaped into my throat and some sort of choke I barely recognized as my own voice escaped my lips.
Right there, in the center of the wall, was a piece of paper. I knew as soon as I looked at it that it was the same sheet of paper Eve had tried to hide from my view in the lounge room. But it was the menacing drawing and accompanying message that made me squirm with disbelief, shock, pain and then more pain. It hit me like an arrow to the chest and I swung my legs off the bed and sat up as if looking at it differently would erase its existence. My heart was banging so hard and fast I imagined my ribcage cracking under the pressure. Thick strands of tape were strewn across all four corners of the page, holding it securely to the wall as if taunting me with its appearance and stability.
Scribbled under a rough caricature of a pig, the words screamed at me:

ALPRIS IS A FAT PIGGY MARRIED TO MISS. PIGGY! HA HA HA U R OBESE
!!!!

Another gag hit me and I shot up toward the wall, reaching out to tug it down. Just as I got to it, Gabrielle burst into the room in a fit of giggles and startled me. My face burned to a high degree and the lump in my throat enlarged.
Holding onto the door frame that separated our rooms for support, Gabrielle called out.
"Eve, come quick!" she gasped. "She saw it!"
My fingers kept slipping as I desperately clawed at the tape, trying to pull the horrible drawing away. My hands were shaking and my sight was starting to mist over, but I didn't care. I had to get rid of it; just had to.
Soon enough, Eve appeared at Gabrielle's side. Her eyes were widened incredulously and her mouth opened to an almost-laugh.
"Leave me alone!" I screamed, finally tearing the ugly picture off. It tore away from the wall with a loud riiiiiiiiip and I threw it down with such force it floated helplessly from side to side before landing softly on the carpet with a quiet crinkle.
Eve's smirk faded, and she bit her lip in concern. But I was too shaken and hurt to regard her look of remorse. The surge of depression mixed with rage I felt was incredible as I turned swiftly to face Gabrielle. She had stopped cackling viciously, but there was evidence of laughter bubbling inside her as she fought to hold it in. Her mouth, shut, quivered and her eyes glowed. Of course, there was no evident of regret on her face. In fact, she looked the happiest I had seen her all week.
"Surprise!" she exclaimed, raising her hands as if playing stick-up. Eve remained quiet, stared at her feet and shot a sideways glance at Gabrielle. I let out a defeated sigh, and the rage transformed into sadness, disaffection and the sense that I didn't fit, never would. I imagined I was Gabrielle staring at me, a pudgy and ugly loser fighting not to be intimidated but was, anyway. I imagined that my cheeks looked puffy, my arms looking like an inflatable water toy. Gabrielle's smile vanished, as if she was disappointed with the aftermath of her horrible joke.
She had no idea, really.
"What?" she said, oblivious to my mental images and her voice dripping with false astonishment.  "You are fat."
"Gabrielle-" Eve started, shooting me a sorry look that revealed she hadn't intended for the joke to go as far as it did. But the damage was done.
"Shut up, Eve," Gabrielle warned, her challenging glare trained on me. Gabrielle's tone reminded me of a hunter telling his partner to keep quiet while he held his gun at perfect aim on the deer, as if too many noises would startle it and it would escape without giving the hunter the satisfaction of torture.
If this had been the first time I was called fat or been picked on by my sisters, I still would have been hurt, yes. But because this wasn't the first time I've been targeted, even worse by my own blood, I was utterly shamed, resentful, hurt but most of all tired of it. And each time it happened, it hurt worse than the last.
I suddenly felt very exhausted, and alienated from the world. I just wanted to be alone, but obviously my room was not on the list of soothing places to be. I stepped forward and nudged Gabrielle out of my way as I stormed to the bathroom. Each time one of my feet hit the floor, the pain of the ground shock soothed me. Then I shot into the bathroom and slammed the door as hard as I could. As I did, the force of the slam rattled the loose doorknob and vibrated through the walls. I stepped in front of the mirror. My eyes narrowed and stung, until hot tears dripped uncontrollably down my face and clouded my vision. I didn't like what I saw, never did. My eyes were scrunched up and ugly-looking, my hair was a brown tangled halo around my head and my lips were too small. Both of my sisters had always been more attractive and obviously thinner than I was, and constantly Mom was telling me to hold my stomach in while we were in public. On few occasions, Dad would tell me I've put on weight and emphasize the insult by petting his own flat belly. There was even a girl in my class who said to me once during lunch, "You're one of those girls who are only pretty when skinny." Suddenly then, I didn't feel like eating my yoghurt anymore and my appetite diminished into nothing. Whether or not they all meant it as a joke didn't matter. There was no use defining everyone's opinions as coincidences. But I knew with all my mind, heart and soul that Gabrielle definitely meant it. What she did was nasty and unforgivable, but the look in her eyes made the icing on the cake. It finally hit home, and I leaned over the sink and bawled, grabbing my hair and tugging it angrily. My eyebrows were furrowed stiffly, my mouth turned down in defeat. The sensation of different emotions mixed with shame and lack of acceptance made my heart sting like it never had before and I was aware of that fact that I was sobbing quite loudly but didn't give a flying f**k. Then I took in deep mouthfuls of air until my tear ducts were completely drained of liquid emotion. Careful not to look in the mirror again, I turned my head and sat down with defeat on the cold hard plastic bathroom chair.

I don't know how long I sat there. It must have been a while, because occasionally I stole glances at the bathroom window and through the glass, watched the sun turn from lively yellow to later golds and greys. A few seconds later, there was a quiet, hesitant knock on the door.
"What," I whispered, turning away from the door and resting my head in my hand with my elbow propped up on my thigh. Someone came in, creeping delicately as if normal footfalls would cause the floor to crumble beneath them. I said nothing. 
"Alpris?" Eve whispered, taking a step toward me. I stared at her lime-green painted toenails until she repeated my name again, more desperately.
I sighed in surrender. "What do you want, Eve?"
"Look at me."
I withdrew my hand from my cheek and glanced up at her wearily. Her eyebrows creased as she read the evidence that I had been crying and her mouth opened up an inch, as if she couldn't believe how upset I was over something she saw as a practical joke. I couldn't deny that I was touched by her sudden display of sorrow, though, and it made me want to cry all over again. I pressed my tongue fiercely to the roof of my mouth until the wave of sadness passed, then I relaxed again.
"Alpris.." Eve began, then her eyes darted from side to side as if she were working hard to choose the right words to say. "...I'm sorry about the drawing. Gabrielle made me do it."
I was shocked by the fact that I believed her, the last part especially. Gabrielle had a knack for intimidation and manipulation. They were her trademarks. And when Eve wasn't around her, she was sweet and often easy-going. It saddened me that Eve craved acceptance to the point where she would change her personality completely. But it was understandable. Gabrielle was manipulative, that was a fact.
I drew a long breath in and exhaled, blowing air out of my cheeks.
"It's...okay," I said, and at the same time managed a weak smile. Eve beamed, her pretty face lighting up at the acknowledgment of her apology. I saw something else too; relief that we had settled the dust?
Perhaps. 
"Wanna go watch TV?" Eve suggested, shooting me another supportive grin.
As I stood, she placed an arm around my shoulder and the ice surrounding my heart melted with the arrival of another rare emotion: the feeling of being loved.
 

 

© 2012 Alpris


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Read both Part 1 and 2. First note, I don't know if kids ages 8-10 would know the word obese or much less use it if they did. I didn't as a kid. :P But the F word fits, sadly. lol. The story wasn't bad. I would suggest adding more to the end. Usually with stories you want to see the character change from beginning to end. So you see that she is picked on and Gabrielle feels sad about it later then they walk off together in the sunset. You should try to mention at the beginning that Alpris never trusted people and the way her sisters were looking and giggling at her justified that. Then at the end open up to how Eve's attempt at redemption brought the possibility of Alpris learning to trust someone. Always closed off to everyone and everything, then a small change to try and trust this one person. That may already be represented, but it wasn't too clear to me at least. Other than that, nice short story. :)

Posted 11 Years Ago



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Added on January 26, 2012
Last Updated on January 26, 2012
Tags: emotional, trauma, bullying

Author

Alpris
Alpris

Auckland, New Zealand



About
Here is a reference to my artistry - a painting of myself and Myra Hindley: At the point of acquaintance , I generally go by Alpris; a name given to me by someone I don't know, let alone the in.. more..

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