Chaos.

Chaos.

A Poem by Aly
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=D

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Everything was so confusing,
Blurry lights- blue, red, blue, red
People screaming;
It was all I could hear.
My vision was fading;
My eyes slowly closing.
I opened my mouth to tell the people not to worry,
But nothing came out.
My heart faltered to a stop.
No more thump thump thump in my chest.
My legs were numb.
I couldn’t move them.
I was going to die.

© 2009 Aly


Author's Note

Aly
Critique?

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Reviews

Sad but in a good way. Extremely good. Short and nice.

Posted 14 Years Ago


Wow! Amazing write! (standing ovation) :)

Posted 15 Years Ago


The beginning definitely captured the chaos and confusion I think you wanted, especially the allusion to the red and blue lights - that was absolutely amazing. The end had a chilling effect as well. Good job.

Posted 15 Years Ago



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199 Views
3 Reviews
Rating
Added on January 18, 2009

Author

Aly
Aly

Brisbane, Australia



About
Im Aly. Im awesome. Im in grade eight. I love my friends ♥ Jacula Jordan ♥ 6 Months ♥ Im gonna miss everybody from primary so much :( I love you guys ♥ Kthx.. more..

Writing
Childs play. Childs play.

A Poem by Aly