I Took a Step Back and Realized My Life Sucks

I Took a Step Back and Realized My Life Sucks

A Chapter by Amanda

love story about some kids in 11th grade(: its goes back and forth to 2 points of views. Lynette and Chase.

I Took a Step Back and Realized My Life Sucks
I pushed him away from me, furious. “Wha -what do you mean?”
            “I just thought-” He said pushing his smooth jet black hair back. Obviously it just fell back into his face. Moron, I can’t even see his damn eyes. Stupid, stupid.
            “You just thought what!” I yelled, not really asking.
            He panicked and took a step closer to me and grabbed my hands. I pushed away quickly. “Look, it was an accident.”
            I couldn’t look at him. I turned around, facing my back towards him.
            “I told you, we where at a party and-” he said rushing his words.
            “And you where dunk and your hand slipped into her pants, yeah I get it!” I started walking away but he grabbed my hand, stopping me.
            He sighed. “I know…what I did…was wrong.”
            “Nah, really? I thought I had to get you a damn trophy.” I said in a rough sarcastic voice.
            His face turned red. “Fine, if you don’t want me in your life-”
            I interrupted him, knowing exactly what to say. “I don’t!”
            “Than just leave!”
            I gave him a look. The look. You know, the look that says “You-have-no-right-to-even-think-about-using-that-tone-of-voice-with-me”
            I realized he was still holding my wrist. I yanked it away and left. That’s right, I didn’t even look back. And get this? I didn’t cry. Well. Not in front of him at least. I mean come on? He slept with some s**t, which I knew her since seventh grade and it just so happens that I hated her and she hated me, and he just seemed turned on by her. Coincidence? Guess so.  And that’s when I realized that my life sucked. I mean he doesn’t even know that I’m pregnant?! Well no one knows. Except, well, Chase.
            Don’t judge. I knew him since, like, first grade. It’s hard to not tell him everything. He knows exactly what to say, he makes everything worth living for. But he’s a guy. And guys date hoes. And he’s well, dating a hoe. I did in fact have a crush on him for a while, a long while. I got over him in ninth grade.
So guess what I did once I got home? Besides crying… Yeah, I called him, that idiot. I dialed up his number sobbing between each number I press.
I heard a yawn. “This is Taco Bell, how may I help you?”
I sniffled. “I-I-I”
He sighed. “Do I need to kill someone?”
“Yes, yes you do.” I said gasping for some air.
He paused. “Oh. Uh. Um. Who?”
“You know Logan?” I said, even though he knows.
“Your boyfriend.”
“Ex-boyfriend” I staring crying some more.
He yawned again. “Interesting. Tell me more? You told him about the baby?”
I sniffled, yet again. “No… He well…!” My voice trailed off.
“He…what? He’s gay? That’s a choice, you shouldn’t hate them because of it, and I wouldn’t think you’d be that type of person. You know its like, gosh, why do people-” He sounded pretty defensive.
“No! Chase! He’s not gay! I mean hello?! Baby!”
“It could be a cover up.” He said.
I did a face palm. “Chase, listen. That jerk decided to sleep with someone else, and we broke up, and now I’m going to be a single mother!”
“Well that’s not that complicated. People deal with that every day.”
“Than what’s complicated Chase!”
“Complicated is like, he had an Afro and he liked had sex with you. And than he like rapped me. Yeah, that’s complicated.”
I couldn’t help but give a laugh.” You’re stupid, you know that?”
His voice sounded light. “Yes, yes I do.” he paused and was more serious. “Maybe keeping the child isn’t the smartest option now…”
  “I am not getting an ab-”
“I know your not!” he sounded frustrated, but than sighed. “But adoption could be…reasonable.”
I was not giving up this child. “No, it’s not!” there was silence. “I’m going to hang up.”
“Wait no!” he sounded panicked. “Please stay.”
“Why? Why should I stay? You’re not helping!”
“I’m sorry! I’m not a pro at giving advice on pregnancy!’
“I’m dealing with so much right now! My life sucks!” tears where streaming down my face.
“Don’t say that.” He said in a stern voice. “Your life doesn’t suck.”
“How does it not?” I regretted saying that. I was going to get the speech again.
“What’s above you?” he said in a bitter voice.
            I knew where he was getting at. I sighed. “A ceiling…”
            “Do you get food at least three times a day?”
            “Yes…” “Right. Do you have a family, who loves you?”
            His voice became light again. “Than your life does not suck.”
            “Goodnight Chase.” I said in a cheerful voice, mimicking his.
            “Night! Love you.”
            “Love you too” I hanged up the phone. And lied in bed, staring at the ceiling, smiling. He always knew what to say,
            She tends to leave a smile on my face whenever I’m done talking to her…well now that I think about it, after I’m done talking to her too. Oh and before. Um. Whatever.
            I made my way to the window and sat down staring into space. Staring into space is cool. It’s like you ca imagine anything. You could picture being a unicorn jumping on like cotton candy. Beep. Beep. I hate when people call me when I’m trying to picture myself being a unicorn. I looked at the caller I.D. and saw that it was Ashley, my girlfriend.
            She was crying. “I can’t believe Lynette!”
I became alert and worried. “What do you mean?”
            “She broke up with my brother!  She’s such a w***e!”
            Oh right. Logan is Ashley’s brother. I forgot. And well Lynette doesn’t even know so, shh. But I mean it was Lynette! She can’t talk about her that way, right? Right. “You shouldn’t say that. She’s nice.”
            “She broke my brother’s heart!”
            “No, your brother broke her heart! He slept with someone else because he’s the jerk. Not her.” I said defensively.
            “Excuse me? Chase you need to shut up! Your so called ‘best friend’ is a-“
            I interrupted her. “Look she’s still my friend. So stop. Please.”
            “I don’t get why you hang out with her so much.”
            “Why? Because she was always there for me, even when you weren’t.”
            “Okay, when was she there for you?” she said, not really expecting an answer from me. Boy she was wrong.
            “Why I don’t know, maybe back in ninth grade when you where making fun of me? Or when my sister died, I don’t know, three months ago, and you only cared about yourself? And hey, at least I had the decency to get you a gift for our five month anniversary! What where you doing? Oh nothing, just decided to go shopping with some friends. Hey who cares that that I bought you a $256 necklace? You just took it and felt like shopping. Great, fantastic.”
            “You’re over reacting. Things happen. And besides you didn’t loose much with you sister, she was a s**t.”
            I stood there, like a stupid idiot. I couldn’t say anything. Just stood there, mouth wide open, tears suddenly ran down my cheeks. She heard silence, so she thought that hanging up would be nice.
I stretch out on my bed. You know. Sunlight burns. I yawned. I sat up and slid my feet into little purple, fuzzy slippers and started making my way to the kitchen. Okay so today was Thursday, so that meant I had to eat something um, healthy? Oh, who cares? I grabbed a big bowl of Coco Puffs, poured some milk into the bowl, and practically fell into my seat. I started to eat and thought about what to do today. Well there’s school, so two torturous classes with Logan. But at least I had three with Chase but also one with Ashley in it. So he basically ignores me in that class. Ugh. Being three weeks pregnant sucks. How could I deal with nine more months of this crap?
And I basically was half asleep so I don’t even remember getting to school, but suddenly it was second hour. That’s the class where Logan, Chase, Ashley and I are all in. Awkward? Yes, very much so.
I was late. Five minutes late actually. But that teacher was amazing, it was drama class and she’s the type of teacher who just doesn’t care. I walked in and Ms. Harrison, the teacher, was there staring at me, and than continues playing Solitary on her computer. I looked around and noticed immediate tension. I looked around to one side. There was Logan with Ashley sitting down. They looked mad. And I guess they where just venting. I turned to my other side and there was Chase, and well he, he looked like he was on the verge of crying. No it wasn’t that noticeable, but when you know a guy for 11 years you tend to tell when he’s upset. I gave Logan a dirty look he didn’t think nothing of it. I mad my way towards Chase. “What’s up? I sense major tension going on.”
He didn’t say a word.
I sat down to the chair next to him. “What’s wrong?”
He put his knees on his chair, crossed his arms on top and buried his head into his arms.
Something was seriously up. “When did this happen?”
“Last night, after you and me talked.” He was crying.
“Did I do something?”
“No, of course not!”
I’m confused. “Than just tell me!”
“It was Ashley.” He coughed and raised his head slowly. His eyes were red and tired. It looked like he didn’t get any sleep. It broke my heart to see him this upset. He was a brave guy, he rarely cried. Last time I saw him cry was when his sister, Vanessa, was murdered, and even then he bottled it up. But she was amazing, they where twins. She was beautiful, and so loving and caring. I miss her too. But I don’t get what this could be about? He’s not the type of guy who would bring up the past like that.
He sniffled. “She was mad and called you a s**t, so I stood up for you.”
Me? S**t? “Wait, why is she mad at me?”
His face made a look that said ‘I-did-not-mean-to-say-that’ I stiffened. “Tell me.”
His green eyes shinned. “Well, Logan and Ashley are brother and sister.”
He was upset, can’t really yell at him, so moved on to a question. “So you’re this upset because she called me a s**t?” that sounded pretty hard to believe.
He coughed again. “No, I said that you where always there for me. And I gave examples like when my sister died.” he paused to wipe a tear strolling down is face. “And she said I didn’t loose much because she was a slu-” he could handle it. He broke off the last word and buried his face back into his arms.
I know she didn’t say s**t. “Called her what? A s**t?”
He nodded his head. I rose up and started walking towards Logan and Ashley.
Chase stood up and cleared his voice “What are you doing?”
“Starting something” I called back.
            Once I was there, Ashley stood up and her annoying voice came up from the dead. “What are you doing here?”
“Payback, b***h.” I punched her in the nose and she fell down.
Logan rose quickly and pushed me, pushed me hard. I fell down to the floor. Chase was right there behind me. You couldn’t even notice that he was crying before. He rose tall, and punched Logan in the gut. One of Logan’s friends came up and kicked Chase in the chest. It was a chain reaction. I basically started a riot. Epic.
            And than seven minutes later I found myself in the principal’s office with Chase, Logan, and Ashley. That scum. I can’t believe she would treat Chase that way; I have no freaking clue how that lasted five months. They did break up? Right? Right, of course they did, Chase wouldn’t deal with that. Right?
I hope Ashley wasn’t stupid enough to still think we were together. I mean I feel stupid for dating her for five months. Nah, I know why I did it. She was popular, and well, me dating someone popular; yeah, I was hoping at first that it would get Lynette jealous, but she didn’t. Of course she didn’t. No, of course not, because Lynette never got jealous. But I did, when she was dating Logan. Gosh. Talk about stupid? I mean Logan was younger than her, by a year, but he skipped a grade. Scary, I know.
            The principal interrupted my thoughts, good thing to because- “So, you guys where in a fight?”
            I spoke up since everyone else was silent. “Other people fought to.”
            “But you four started it.” She said so, so, annoyingly.
            Lynette’s head peaked up. She looked so, so pretty. “Actually I started it. I went up to Ashley and punched her.”
            Ms.Peak, the principal, looked shocked. I would be too. “Um, Why?”
            I began to speak quickly. “Because I told her to.” Everyone looked at me.
            “Um, why.” Ms.Peak repeated herself.
            “Because she’s a b***h.”
            Ashley’s face looked shock; yeah she was stupid enough to still think us where together. I think now she got the point.
            Ms.Peak stood up. “Ashley, Lynette, and Logan. Leave. Now.”
            As Lynette walked out the door she gave e a sweet thankful look. But Ms.Peak ruined that by speaking. “Okay, why is she such a b***h?”
            “Because she talked bad about Vanessa.”
            She knew who Vanessa was because, well, she’s like my moms best friend.  They stopped being friends once she found out that my mom had some drinking problem. A lot of things happened in the month Vanessa passed. My mom started drinking…a lot. And my parents ended up devoicing. I don’t see my mom anymore, so it’s just me and my dad. But loosing Vanessa was 20 times worse than the other things. I loved her so much; wish I could’ve told her that before she was killed.
            “Oh…” she sighed. “ Look, this fight never happened. Go to lunch.”
            I’m confused. “I’m not expelled?”
            “No. Leave before I change my mind.” Weird. She hated me, but loved Vanessa. So um, thanks sis for being so lovable, you saved me on this one.
            I walked all the way to lunch, smiling like an idiot. I don’t know why I was smiling. I guess because I hadn’t been expelled. Yeah, that might have something to do with it.
            Lynette came running towards be and gave me a strong, warm hug. “Why are you still here?”
            I smiled even wider. “I wasn’t expelled.” she let me go.
            She hugged me tighter and than released. “Thank you, so much.”
            “You act like it’s a shocker for me to do something so amazingly nice?”
            She gave a light absolutely adorable smile. “Well it kind of is, you where only crying about 20 minutes ago. You should be in a pissed off mood right about now.”
            “Nah, life is too short to be pissed off at her.” We started walking towards the lunch line.
            “So why did go out with her anyway?” she asked curiously.
            Crap. “Um. Because. I like. Um. Uh…”
            Her eyebrow rose. “Uh-huh, I see. Seems like you really liked her.”
            “I did.” my voice cracked. “Pops.”
            “I thought you already hit puberty?”
            “Um…yeah…” we got our lunch and sat down. It was our first lunch sitting together since well, seven months ago, before she was dating Logan.
            She stopped eating and looked at me. “Why did you ask Ashley out?” she had curious eyes.
            I stopped eating too, and stared at my plate. “I just thought…”
            “With your other three girlfriends you actually liked them. It’s like with Ashley you just did it because you where bored or something.”
“I did like my paste girlfriends.” it was true. I did. But something always went wrong.
“So why did you suddenly want to go out with her?” she said, trying to get it out of me.
“Because I didn’t like Logan…”
“He used to be a sweet guy.” She said defensively.
“I know but you where with him…all the time.”
“That’s what boyfriend and girlfriends do.” 
I looked down at my lap. Oh, I was wearing black skinny jeans. Cool. 
“Chase! Look at me!”
I looked at her. “What?”
“Why did you go out with her?”
I felt frustrated. I felt like I could just start crying. But I didn’t. I couldn’t. “Because I was jealous!” I spat out, leaving her to go to study hall.
Jealous? Did I hear that right? Jealous of what? Me not sitting at lunch with him? We still hung out multiple times, it’s not like I was ignoring him. Guys are stupid. What am I going to say? “Sorry Chase for sitting with Logan at lunch?” was I missing something? I ran into study hall. We had that class together. And so did Logan…

© 2011 Amanda

Author's Note

tell how you feel about everything(: this is the first few chapters of something im working on. oh and ignore if something is supposed to be in italic, i know when it is, i copied and pasted this and it didn't put it. thank you

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Added on January 1, 2011
Last Updated on January 1, 2011
Tags: high school, boys, love, pregnancy, pregnant, children, teens, life