A forbidden lust

I'm not still not done yet. Please wait until I'm fully done to read. Thank you. (:

     I looked away from you because I was beginning to cry. You didn't understand how I felt. You just couldn't comprehend this feeling that I have towards you. It was so complex and unreal. I didn't know what to say to you now. As I turned back around, and stared into your eyes I knew that there was compassion, but so much confussion. You wanted to leave, but you didn't know how.

     I wanted to give you everything and more. Knowing the only thing you ever wanted from me was to take my innocence away. For some reason, I felt as if you deserved better than me. I tried to begin to walk away, but I was stuck there beside you.

"No, you don't deserve this. I need to go." I began to ramble.

"Think this over, babe. You know that you deserve better than me. I have hurt you so many times. I have no idea how I could ever make it up to you. Every time I look at you, I want more and more of you. The only thing I see is us together..forever," you said smoothly.

     I was falling into this never ending trap. I knew that I should just leave, walk out, never talk to you again. That felling in the pit of my stomach that this was going to end badly still won't let up. I keep following my heart, and not listening  to what my gut is telling me. I know I should, but it's just this moment.

     You lift my chin up, and tell me, "Everything is going to be fine. It won't hurt too much, and you promise to be gentle." Taking me in your arms, I feel like nothing can go wrong. We are rolling around in the grass, the stars above us, underneath that willow tree. Hands above our heads. Bodies pressed aagainst each others. Moaning in desire, and scratching your back in pain.

     We lay hand in hand, body to body. Sweat matted down both of our hair. I know that we will always have this connection. You kiss my forehead, and tell me how beautiful, and how you can't wait to spend the next couple months like this. Just as you are finishing your sentence, I jump up because I have remember one vauge little thing.

"Did you put on the condom?!"

"What?! I thought you were on birth control..?"

"No, I'm not you f*****g idiot! What if I get pregnant!?! How could I have been this stupid?!"

      I begin to gather my clothes, putting them on quickly. I can't bare to stay around you right now. So many thoughts are running through my mind. "You are 18, and this could get you into trouble." "I can never take this back. He has my entire innocence." "I can't believe how stupid I am." "I'm not ready to be a teenage mother."

     You try and walk away without being noticed. I pull you back by your jacket sleeve, and hug you. Standing on my tippy toes about to kiss you, I notice in your eyes is pure hate and fear. You whisper in my ear that everything will be alright, and that you will always be here. I don't believe you, but kiss you, and tell you I love you any way. You begin the sentence back, but you cannot say it. I rush out of there to go back.

     While walking back home, I've begun to cry. Tears just falling down my face.

Author's Note

isn't done.

Reviews

[Trikius]

Well i'll definatly read more of this story when it is written. Very beautiful imagery the emotion runs very deep. Very well done Amber.