Do not try to save me.

You need to understand, I am not like most girls.

 

at night,

 I will over

 analyze everything

you said to me,

 searching for lies.

 

 I will destroy myself

 & everything I have ever stood for,

to make you happy.

 

You love spring days

 I love winter,

&I think that says most of what we need to know.

 That you blossom at the thought of restarting

 and I am cold for weeks on end.

 

 I realize your days can be

better spent with

someone who does not

"flitch

 when you move to caress her face.

 

 

but no one has ever

broken down

this wall

that I  spent years building

close to my heart.

 

 

 

But I have

Broken

 my own heart

trying to please so many people,

(I know you will just be another name to add to my casualty list.)

 

You will make your quest to be the boy

 who can finally love me,

but keeping up with a girl who is

 constantly filled

with doubt and

who is a roller coaster of

highs and lows is not fun.

 

 Having my

black cloud

of a personality

hang over your happy days

will not be fun

Comforting me will get old,

  And when wiping away tears

becomes second nature to you,

 you’re going to realize that

 you can have a lot better.

 

When you grow tired of checking for

(silent sobs

and

marks under sleeves)

I’m afraid you’ve realized

sweetheart,

 that I am not worth your time.