Forbidden Dream

Style Encouraged by http://www.writerscafe.org/writing/watchtheworld/636482/ For http://www.writerscafe.org/contests/Get-published!-GLBT-COMMUNITY/13834/ About a gay boy and his dreams :(

Just a few nights ago,

In a castle far away,
My dreams were hospitalized so sweetly,
During the absence of                             day.

There I met my Knight in Shining Armor,
So strong and brave he was.
A beautiful sight to behold;
His attitude a rarity under the street-      light.

He didn’t know my secret;
Why no one did.
I didn’t speak the words,
For a single word                                   brings

The pain of a thousand suns,
Or the coup of my mind by pests.
After all, I’m not like other boys.
But most of all, I feared                          reality

                     Of waking up, away from forbidden desire.

Author's Note

Well here's my first GLBT poem. Enjoy!

Reviews

[Kiri Nells]

This poem can take on so many meanings. As I read it, I did not have in mind the sort of thing that you did as the poet. Yet, once I read your author's note, I fully understood the intent. I also commend you on your use of structure. It's creative, yet simple to figure out. Thank you so much for posting this poem, I very much enjoyed it. :)

[Aleyah]

I loooooooooooove this so much. Awesome poem, as you can see from the other reviews. This is so perfect, the way you chose words; it's not too,...."wordy" I guess one could say so therefore it is not difficutl to read whatsoever. It flows wonderfully and I'm pretty sure the last stanza is my favorite. Amazing job, seriously. :)

[Omar Fendri]

well, It is when our desires become forbidden, we start feeling like we are prisoned in a misplaced world, so lone... and speaking up is the only key to feel relief, even if it will hurt... I trembled actually as I was reading this poem and I captured lot of memories... You delineated emotions to your poem with which we can truly relate, and it is simply written, perfectly expressed...
saved in my favorite list.

[Valentine]

Loads of talent, I would hope that your interest in writing grows as you do have a specail knack for it..Valentine

[E.V. Black]

Pretty cool. I had to actually create a new category for this poem because I so desperately didn't want it to be left out. It's so lovely and so longing, especially the fact that the love in the poem is so forbidden. It's painful, and I couldn't ever imagine feeling like that. Yet I have experienced pain very similar to that.

Very heartbreaking and a fresh take on love. More people should be as audacious as you and give a hand at writing GLBT works.

[Searching 4 Serenity]

Yes! This one could be applied in many different ways to many different people. Yet one thing remains the same... THE MESSAGE ;)

[Aaron M. Anderson]

I like this a lot! The tension between the speaker and his Knight makes this poem very effective. At some level, we have all experienced this kind of angst. You've captured it and transcribed it beautifully. Keep up the good work!

[Que]

Absolutely beautiful. I especially loved the structure of the poem.
Great job, you're very talented :)
Cheers and have a good day.

[Alex Figueroa]

i can find so many hidden meanings in this, its good, you should keep going with GLBT

[Marie Harrison]

I sense a longing to maintain innocense,
yet chase forbidden desire too.

Beautiful prose
with such a strong
sense of humanity
packed into the message.

[Tom Chan]

very, very meaningful! i love it :)