Who was I

Who was I

A Poem by Mina
"

Open interpretation. Share your views:) This poem is based on a book I read Veils of lies.It revealed domestic violence and how often it is ignored.

"
An open ground
A crowded place
Have you you seen me there?
My dead body has no shadow.
I'm there with nothing to see .
I'm touch less, known less, and life less.
Have you seen me there?
Do you see me now?
Dead cells, dead space, dead me.

© 2013 Mina


Author's Note

Mina
Ex:ignore punctuation mistakes

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Jo
Hi Mina
This reminds of going to the funeral of a distant relative who had lost all his closest family and been in a home suffering senility for years. There was basically us there (attending through a sense of duty) and one representative of the Care Home - who looked totally disinterested. Your poem shares the same sense of sadness and futility that surrounded that occasion.

Posted 8 Years Ago


Mina

8 Years Ago

I'm glad you connected with my poem :)
Thank yu souch for reviewing it means a lot x Jo
I like this Mina
I like it a lot.
Keep writing
My Friend
All Good Things,
Neville

Posted 8 Years Ago


Mina

8 Years Ago

Thank you Neville
Im glad you liked it :)
i read this as you are in a crowded place but no one notices you.. to all intent and purpose you are invisible..

Posted 8 Years Ago


Mina

8 Years Ago

Yeah
Thank you so much :)
I'm you guys are understood the poem so precisly :)
Mina

8 Years Ago

*glad :) xx
"An open ground
A crowded place" great start. Draws one in.
Also speaks of being invisible so that so many of us can identify with.
Keep it up.

Posted 8 Years Ago


Mina

8 Years Ago

Thank you :)
Awsome piece, really interesting, it drew me in.
Great write :)

Posted 8 Years Ago


Mina

8 Years Ago

Thank you so much :)
I'm glad you liked it x
annabellee

8 Years Ago

you're most welcome :)
A sad voice calling out loudly in despair, afraid he/she is invisible. Clean up the punctuation and grammar, but it is a powerful peace, nonetheless.

Posted 8 Years Ago


Mina

8 Years Ago

Thank you :) so much
This is really interesting. :))

I just noticed that in the first line it should be "An open ground"
:))

Posted 8 Years Ago


FelicityAllona

8 Years Ago

But I also thought this might be about an invisible kid who suffers a lot. :))
Mina

8 Years Ago

Exactly invisble was the message I wanted to give accross.
:) thank yu ;)
FelicityAllona

8 Years Ago

your welcome :))
Wow . A very nice poem Mina . Beautiful . An open ground...:)#

Posted 8 Years Ago


Mina

8 Years Ago

Thank yu ;)
Sorry I posted my comment in the wrong place:P
Kinda new :)
Sami Khalil

8 Years Ago

You are welcome...No biggie...:)

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314 Views
9 Reviews
Added on July 13, 2013
Last Updated on November 22, 2013
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Author

Mina
Mina

Gravesend, kent, United Kingdom



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