Who was I

Open interpretation. Share your views:) This poem is based on a book I read Veils of lies.It revealed domestic violence and how often it is ignored.

An open ground
A crowded place
Have you you seen me there?
My dead body has no shadow.
I'm there with nothing to see .
I'm touch less, known less, and life less.
Have you seen me there?
Do you see me now?
Dead cells, dead space, dead me.

Author's Note

Ex:ignore punctuation mistakes

Reviews

[Jo]

Hi Mina
This reminds of going to the funeral of a distant relative who had lost all his closest family and been in a home suffering senility for years. There was basically us there (attending through a sense of duty) and one representative of the Care Home - who looked totally disinterested. Your poem shares the same sense of sadness and futility that surrounded that occasion.

[Mina]

I'm glad you connected with my poem :)
Thank yu souch for reviewing it means a lot x Jo

[Neville]

I like this Mina
I like it a lot.
Keep writing
My Friend
All Good Things,
Neville

[Mina]

Thank you Neville
Im glad you liked it :)

[Stella Armour]

i read this as you are in a crowded place but no one notices you.. to all intent and purpose you are invisible..

[Mina]

Yeah
Thank you so much :)
I'm you guys are understood the poem so precisly :)

[Mina]

*glad :) xx

[MashSaad]

"An open ground
A crowded place" great start. Draws one in.
Also speaks of being invisible so that so many of us can identify with.
Keep it up.

[Mina]

Thank you :)

[annabellee]

Awsome piece, really interesting, it drew me in.
Great write :)

[Mina]

Thank you so much :)
I'm glad you liked it x

[annabellee]

you're most welcome :)

[John M. Wills]

A sad voice calling out loudly in despair, afraid he/she is invisible. Clean up the punctuation and grammar, but it is a powerful peace, nonetheless.

[Mina]

Thank you :) so much

[FelicityAllona]

This is really interesting. :))

I just noticed that in the first line it should be "An open ground"
:))

[Mina]

Thank you me too lol I just remembered an comes before a vowel.
:)
Thank yu foe pointint out

[Mina]

*for *pointing

[FelicityAllona]

I was thinking this is a about a ghost.. I don't know.. Forgive me I'm weird.. :))

[Mina]

Hahaa I'm weird too ;)
It's about a woman who is abused.
But then its open interpretation. I'm a feminist so I was explaining how women are abused even in modern societies but we never nottice.
Because the reality isn't what we see.

[FelicityAllona]

But I also thought this might be about an invisible kid who suffers a lot. :))

[Mina]

Exactly invisble was the message I wanted to give accross.
:) thank yu ;)

[FelicityAllona]

your welcome :))

[Sami Khalil]

Wow . A very nice poem Mina . Beautiful . An open ground...:)#

[Mina]

Thank yu ;)
Sorry I posted my comment in the wrong place:P
Kinda new :)

[Sami Khalil]

You are welcome...No biggie...:)