Storm In A Tea Cup

 

What goes on inside your head?

When you close your eyes as you lie in bed,

Do you see yourself live on stage?

Or do you scream and shout in a frantic rage?

Or do you dream,

That you could get back from the fire into the frying pan,

And let him shield you from the heat like he use to?

Do you wish, that you could:

Unmake the beds, un-dig the graves, un-spill the milk, un-cry the tears,

Un-burn the bridges that you crossed, that you set alight, that you burnt behind you?

Do you wish

That you could get out of the teacup

And watch the storm from the outside, and not all around you?

 

(I do)

Reviews

[Y.F.]

I really liked where you took this idea of someone caught in a storm inside a tea cup - you've just stacked metaphors upon metaphors, and really made it work.
the first 4 lines have a very distinct structure, but then it's broken on the 5th line and really separates what's "fact" in this poem and what the subject is actually wishing for.

"Unmake the beds, un-dig the graves, un-spill the milk, un-cry the tears," - definitely my favorite line.
You've positioned the spilled milk JUST right! :)

"That you could get back from the fire into the frying pan," - also very well played.

Added to my favorites without any hesitation.

[praying for help]

ooh, i do too!!!!

[Raivenne]

"Do you wish, that you could:
Unmake the beds, un-dig the graves, un-spill the milk, un-cry the tears,"

Perfectly worded. I like how you break from the initial ordred lines, to this sudden outburst of free form passion. Just like the quiet before the storm.

[jenniewren (J.W. Bouwma..]

you describe those cyclical-insomniac-cant sleep cos my brain won't shut off thoughts that plague you when there's just too much to ponder

i sense a late night loneliness and a kind of melancholy

also - the way you turned the very rhetorical tone into intensely personal write with your last two words is breathcatching

[deeps]

Well I guess they say what goes around comes around
So I guess as a tea cup spinning maybe will go back for you
But doubtful. I like the feelings you put into this write.
Truthful with you there is no way I would want to go back.
The past can burn you why would you want to be burnt twice.
remarkable write and read. Expressed well. Like the metaphors
You have used.

[O!]

The title was very intriguing and i love the idea......thats me at the moment....not about the things id wanna un-do but things which result in Frustration!!!......

I read this and i felt like a fly that just fell into a tea cup....or lets say Soup!!

Argh! (not the poem but the frustration)

x,
O!