Twirled

Twirled

A Poem by The Flawed

 

Lately:
I’ve stopped killing time, I torture it instead,
I pay my bills twice, just in case,
I’ve been walking on the wrong side of the opposite pavement,
I’ve been climbing trees all the way up to their roots
I’ve been wearing my jeans and t-shirts over my suits,
I asked my mother if she was a virgin,
I’ve been taking sleeping pills for a boost,
I’ve learned a new language that no one else speaks (I taught myself)
I went to a clairvoyant to tell me about my present
I’ve been doing star jumps in my sleep
I buy take out sushi and cook it
I’ve been dreaming in Chinese with subtitles.
 
And lately:
Lately, I’ve been missing her,
No, not really, that would be crazy,
Wouldn’t it?

 

© 2009 The Flawed


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it's a brilliant little piece, I like the humor in it. Especially the parenthetical, "I taught myself". I might suggest that a clairvoyant is very well able to tell you about your present self as well as past and future selves. . . that line could be a little stronger.

I like the way it ends. A really nice piece. I enjoyed it.

Posted 11 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.




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Gee
Loved this,so different from most that is posted on here

Posted 5 Years Ago


Love the humor and the little insanities. Sarcasm played such an award winning role in your poem along with well-delivered lines. It's an masterpiece that's truly one of a kind. Your wit simply amazes me.

Keep Writing. ^___^

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

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Neg
Amazing piece, irony all over it. I love it. I'll be reading more of your work. Great Job!!!!

Posted 10 Years Ago


Haha. Wow, I love the irony of this piece because it makes the ending lines that much stronger.

This was a very good write.

Posted 10 Years Ago


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X
lol i like this alot! very cool

Posted 11 Years Ago


oh woww i love the irony feast served through out this piece! and the clairvoyant was supposed to tell the future, but you asked bout your present instead out of confusion,, thats genius line~ well captured loss of a dear person~ thumbs up

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Oh, I do like this. I don't like predictable poems and this is definately NOT predictable with a quaint little twist at the end making the reader stop and think.
This isn't crazy at all.

Posted 11 Years Ago


wow this is really cool.
i can imagine what you must have been feeling,
totaly confused and wondering why you are the way you are?
and why that has to be so different then how the rest of the world is,
but then you've got this ball of pride, that tells you, hell im proud of what i do, no matter how *twisted* it is, ima tell the world how its done.
which you have.
which is great.
and i think it would be crazy to miss her, like its crazy that i miss him, but hey, crazy's in our blood. its in humanity's blood.
i think you've done a marvelous job of expressing that craziness.
thanks for sharing!
well done :)

Posted 11 Years Ago


Sorry I've taken a bit of a hiatus. I cannot add much more to this that has not already been said. I like irony, i like mental dementia and chaos, I like the insane who are more often than not undeniably hilarious...and I really like this piece

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

i really find myself relating to this one!! the sort of mixed up mindset the loss of someone often knocks you into.. a bit like alice in wonderland isn't it? only the more menacing one lol


Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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Added on November 11, 2009

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The Flawed
The Flawed

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I am a man who loves writing poetry, and find it the easiest way of expressing how I feel, particularly when I don�t like to talk about these �feelings�. I cannot .. more..

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