Merriment

short and simple...

The briny horizon seems very complacent,

And the boy muses, with pristine glee,

On the wooden bench with love signs,

Though much is awaiting him; yeah, carefree

he sits on, musical and dreamy.

 

Then the love signs strike him so sharply,

And his rusty heart springs up

To look for her again, outside his palm.

He should’ve made her his long ago even if

It would have lasted one minute.

Reviews

[Reeti]

The starting represents the perfection of the scene around the love-struck boy. He describes it as 'very complacent' one to induce him to 'pristine glee' while he contemplates of the marvels to come. none of that can be denied. then, the second stanza is boldly striking with the symbolical presence of the missing woman he loves. as the lover sits 'on the wooden bench with love signs', i can sense that there is deep nostalgia being felt by him. Now, i am guessing that she may be in his palm because there is a photo of her that he has been holding on to. Or, perhaps, another material which reminds him of her. A wedding ring or locket belonging to her. I'm interested to know what u've had in mind.
Your explanations are surreal. I really admire how the yearning of a man has been expressed succinctly with varied emotions (relief, appreciation, regret, loneliness etc.) to it.

[MOON]

Beautiful!

[Mockingbird]

something triggered a nostalgic feeling of love within him. he wanted to look for her. the friend said he should've made the girl his if only a minute. this brings to mind that the boy must leave without the closure he needed from the girl. great poem. sort of cryptic.

[Amit Parmessur]

thanks.

[Allen Smuckler]

Very nice, thoughtful write Amit,
love the flow and the images you created...especially when the" rusty heart springs up"
intelligent and subtle rhyme schemes as well.
liked a lot Amit
allen

[Amit Parmessur]

:)

[reflectingus]

This is such an awesome poem. So beautifully written, I love the lovely romantic mood, and your thoughts were well expressed. I also like how you kind of intensified the last line too. Great job! :)
"rusty heart springs up" - I think that's the best line haha

[Amit Parmessur]

thx.

[AmandaN]

I like. The first verse is quite whimsical whilst the second seems powerfully poignant, I can feel it's clarity like a blow to the belly.

[Amit Parmessur]

thank you

[Katarzyna Slade]

interesting , great read