Another Small Line

Another Small Line

A Poem by Amy

Another Small Line

He has lines on his face that crinkle his eyes
And he can’t hide his smile lines, even if he tries.

The hair on his head may have lightened a shade or two
Some say it is a direct result of the stress he’s been through

If you look very closely you’ll see his hands shake

and his health is maintained by the pills he has to take

But he has memories that take him to a different place
when his life went by at a much slower pace

He remembers and tells us about when times were tough
and sometimes they just barely had enough

But each experience, and every hard time
just adds to his face another small line

So all the wrinkles have their own story to tell
about the man who lived his life so well

© 2011 Amy


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Reviews

I agree, this piece has rhythm and rhyme. Each line tells a story of the struggles’ of life which he lived well, a very well written poetic story.

Posted 9 Years Ago


Pros: Very good rhyme scheme; everything flows. Also, I like how a story is told within the poem. I love when poems tell stories. And you brought in an odd idea of wrinkles each having a story. Odd in the fact that I've never heard it told that way. But that's good!

Cons: The only line that seemed to give the poem a little hiccup was "And sometimes they just barely had enough." The line before it is a bit longer, and the sudden shortness kind of made me pause. Perhaps rewording of some type could fix this?

Overall: A good poem I enjoyed reading.

Posted 9 Years Ago


This is a great poem, truly. The rhyming, the description, the images. everything.
I really enjoyed it :)

Posted 9 Years Ago



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Added on January 18, 2011
Last Updated on January 18, 2011

Author

Amy
Amy

About
I am so many things rolled into one, a daughter, a mother, a sister. I love to write (mostly romance) I love a good love story I still believe in happily ever after, even though mine has escaped.. more..

Writing
Lessons in Blood Lessons in Blood

A Story by Amy