Sailing Away

Sailing Away

A Chapter by Ana Papaya
"

A poem.

"

Sailing Away


Floating in the in between
Each passing breath a brand new scene
I’m neither here nor am I there
I simply exist in open air
Deeply, deeply, let fill my lungs
Absorbing life as though a sponge
If I should die before you squeeze
The trigger of my silent pleas
My past will die, my future bleed
A broken promise of all decreed
And in my death let it be seen
That my life was naught but a dream
I rest in peace, accept my fate
The silent waves encapsulate
The light that once shone bright and strong
Now finds the river to sail upon



© 2020 Ana Papaya


Author's Note

Ana Papaya
What makes a good poem? I'm not really sure.
But when I wrote this it felt good to me.

My Review

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Featured Review

It's a good poem, Ana. Wonderful flow, rhyme and message. No wonder it felt good once you completed it. It really does read as your title reads; words sailing away down the page. It's well done and a most enjoyable read. Just make sure your sailing away is not done on a CoViD stricken cruise ship! Fine writing. *slaps bum and runs off*

Posted 3 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Ana Papaya

3 Months Ago

Very cheeky, Picasso. Thx much! I'm happy you liked it!



Reviews

Very good and captivating poem. It drew me in to keep reading with its flow. The author's "light" has the will of fervour all while acknowledging the limitations of its scope. The light that once shone bright and strong, now finds the river to sail upon, The ocean waits as it sails along, To guide it towards further light, At the horizon laying bright.
Nice work, Ms. Ana.
Regards.


Posted 1 Month Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Ana Papaya

1 Month Ago

Thank you very much for the really nice comment:)
It reads very smoothly, nice cadence, the rhymes flow easily. It reads an awful lot like a prayer put the rhyme, the "if I die before you squeeze" line would give it that feel but even without that it seems like a lovely prayer. Perhaps it's the subjunctive mood.
Now I'm inspired to try something in that mood. As usual Ana, you have inspired me.

Posted 1 Month Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Ana Papaya

1 Month Ago

Thanks T. S. Really appreciate the great comment here. :)
ooooooh...
i dont know how you did it, but i feel both sad and at peace at the same time.
I agree. No idea what makes one good, but this is definitely a good one.

Posted 1 Month Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Ana Papaya

1 Month Ago

Thanks very much. :)
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this felt like a prayer in a poem portrayed in perfect pitch:) lovely lovely

Posted 3 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Ana Papaya

3 Months Ago

Thanks a bunch, bunny!

when you wrote these words, you were write.. your feelings were clearly more than justified..

Neville :)

Posted 3 Months Ago


Ana Papaya

3 Months Ago

Good morning and thank you :)
Neville

3 Months Ago


tis a pleasure treasure & nobodies but mine :)
indeed, what does make a good poem
it is often a frustrating objective
this reads and flows nicely and judging from the volume of readers it has attracted, it would fall into the 'good poem' category
Watch those sweets, they will go down as easily as a good poem reads

Posted 3 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Ana Papaya

3 Months Ago

good morning :)
and thank you. i do have to watch those sweets.
they'll put me in the.. read more
It felt good because it is good. A delight to read. I loved the flow of your words and your gentle thoughts Ana. Sailing Away, an apt title too.

Chris

Posted 3 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Ana Papaya

3 Months Ago

Thank you so much, Chris! Happy you liked it!
It's a good poem, Ana. Wonderful flow, rhyme and message. No wonder it felt good once you completed it. It really does read as your title reads; words sailing away down the page. It's well done and a most enjoyable read. Just make sure your sailing away is not done on a CoViD stricken cruise ship! Fine writing. *slaps bum and runs off*

Posted 3 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Ana Papaya

3 Months Ago

Very cheeky, Picasso. Thx much! I'm happy you liked it!
My dream poem is fluid, unforced, flowing along with simple yet beautiful metaphors, a message that kind of writes itself and comes through without forcing itself. This poem has all of that and I loved it!

Posted 3 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Ana Papaya

3 Months Ago

Thank you for the super kind comment, P!
I appreciate your visits.
I like rhyme, so i like your poem. And i suppose since we're all water, it's nice to think we eventually return there.

Posted 4 Years Ago


Ana Papaya

4 Years Ago

Thank you for your nice comment Paul!

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Added on June 1, 2016
Last Updated on June 5, 2020

Poems


Author

Ana Papaya
Ana Papaya

Green Apple Poetry



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