How Can I Find Happiness In My Pain

A Poem by Anaya

...

I want to smile.
I want to laugh.
I want to feel
everything
that I can't.

But I also want
to drown.
I also want to die.
I also want to
stay in my room
because I hate going outside.

I didn't ask for help
Because I had way
too much pride.
I can't lie
I tried to push all
my problems
to the side.

But denying my pain
created a monster
inside.

I can't hide.
Trust me I tried.
How long will I live
No further than tonight.
Don't look at me
I'm scared you'll see
the pain
That won't leave
In my soul, it will forever reside