The Words I Do Not Speak

i'm trying

As the tears,
Fall down my cheek,
I reflect on the words I choose not to speak,
I know my smile and my jokes,
Make my true feelings, quite oblique.
Don't you see whats happening to me?
The depression oozing out of my eyes,
Surely the stench has got to reek.
I wish I could simply work out,
To fix my polluted mental physique.
Walk along my insides,
Unsteady wooden floor,
Hear the creeks?
But I must keep my mouth shut,

Because I don't know who will accept me,

While i'm weak.

Happiness and belonging is something,
My bloody heart has only gotten a,
Small quivering peek.
Mu soul left my body,
And watches my remains disseminating,
Every f*****g week.
I know no one cares,
Therefore,
Not even to my friends,
Do I attempt to make a peep.
I scream and I scream,
The loud gaping cries of agony,
But only I can hear the shrieks.
I don't want to be here,
But when it comes to suicide,
It seems I don't have the best technique.
I've been trying real hard,
But have found when it comes to life or death,
Controlling the outcome is hard to tweak.
So I must drag my body through the days,
Until I shatter my depressions mystique.
But sometimes I can feel comfort.
Through the words that I write,
But never dared to speak.

Reviews

[Elaine]

Wow! I just want to say that I'm so glad you are using your writing as an outlet for your experience. I felt this deeply. So many lines just made me go "mmmm." "Because I don't know who will accept me, while I'm weak." I think you will find that acceptance here for sure. I'm grateful you haven't found the "best technique." Keep writing Anaya