"Really?..."

Life as we live it...

“Really?…”

 

     “Who wants to hear a story of Love, Lust, the fickleness of Luck, innocence and torture, with dramatic license AND willful intent?” momma asked… as she ladled “chicken” stew into my bowl from the tin pot on the stove.

 

     “ME!  ME!” I shouted as 6 year-old me jumped up and down and bumped the table!  My three year old sister wiggled and giggled.

 

     Mom looked right into my eyes as she set the melamine bowl on the table.  Paused, slowly shook her head …then said, “Boy, this ain’t chicken.”

 

…But I already knew that… ya know?

 

…and I woke up… again.

 

And it hadn’t been chicken back then…

 

 

We do a lot of waking up during our lives, and a lot of “sleeping” as well.

 

     Being hungry, for many isn’t about choosing from what you have - it’s not having anything at all.  And being hungry physically hurts, and THAT really, really isn’t fair when you’re little - especially when you can’t (let alone don’t) understand the whys (or even if you did - understand). 

 

     At least some kids get to eat at schools now for free - but what is EVER free?  Have you ever actually checked out the breakfasts or lunches?  I mean the actual food NOT the “menu”.  Visit while it is “served” if you can.  Would YOU eat it?  Kids LEARN their personal worth and societal place early on at schools.  And yes I know how many have to scrimp and count pennies so THEIR kid(s) can buy their lunch and not have to brown bag or whatever it is now.  I won’t bore you with my memories of what I had (or hadn’t) - times have changed and the public trough became politically charged as well as correct.  BUT - choosing from what you CAN buy is different than what you normally get “free” - especially from a child’s perspective.  And may God forbid your kid’s lunch account ever be in the “minus” - there IS no shame like politically-mandated public and peer shaming for a kid to have to face because a parent didn’t or more likely couldn’t come up with the ransom payment on or in time.

 

     For us adults - seems a lot of “Charity” comes with a meanness - it’s like ya get shamed into giving somethin’ - ya know?  Whether it’s people on street corners or all those give-give-give “drives” - be it church, office, school, public driven, Red Cross, Food, et al - you know the ones I’m talking about - we ALL been there!  So maybe you give a buck or two or you give the old cans of stuff you wouldn’t eat yourself - from the back of the cupboards …or the cheapest cans of whatever from the grocery store.  We give, yeah, but it’s what and HOW we give I’m talking about here - and the ‘TUDE!  “Charity” often needs to come with a conscience.  As a teenager I made a promise - that I still keep: I will help if, when, and as I can and as for food, I give only what I would eat - and include quality concerns, name brand, appearance, and size and as fresh as I can get it.

 

     Most adults I know would not choose to use a Food Pantry.  And a kid?!? - God forbid a peer MIGHT see them!  But life has this badass habit of happening.  It seems like the hardest damn journey we might ever have to face and it don’t get easier even if you do.   See yourself on the other end of that line - how many of US are one (or just two) paycheck(s) or even just a downsizing away themselves.

 

     One final word - if you HAVE neighbors KNOW how they are doing - be aware of and towards them.  Not sayin’ be nosy or a busybody/gossip - just be aware of how they are making do and especially if it seems for some reason that they aren’t - making do anymore.  Just sayin’…

 

Chris

Author's Note

feel free

Reviews

[Ruby Heggie (PB Jacobs)]

Documentation
1/26/2020
1:36 PM U.S.A. MST
This review content authored by PB Jacobs (www.writerscafe.org).
My review content of "Really?.." by Chris

Hey, Chris!

Alright, you have a gripe going on here. I agree with most of your content, and it's neat how you think and write, but, as I'm sure you are well aware of, it's hard to get a point across to someone who just doesn't want to listen to what a person has to say.

This is where the fine art of fanagle comes in for some people, but that doesn't work all the time.

Here's a good one, for you: The Freedom Corp! Those words are invalid input, unless a person here in the U.S.A. understands what's what with this. What kind of freedom is more like it, as there is no such thing as total freedom, if you ask me, and if there were, would we be here? I doubt it.

Nonetheless, what you are writing about is something that based on your perception of facts, and not undisputable facts. You are in the ballpark, though, as a lot of us, including me, as I'm sure you are well aware of have to have something to gripe about.

You picked a good thought, and yes, a lot of kids have a tendency of being egocentric, as I read somewhere. I never did bother to finish my thought about that. Yeah, I gotta blabber...

What is EVER free? Well, I guess it's what people make free, as best as they can, Chris.


PB Jacobs

[Chris]

Iwas away for medical testing yesterday so THIS is the first chance I have to respond - literally. Thanks for your pausing here and taking the time to add your thoughts - I DO appreciate reading and thinking on them. I believe we each have our perceptions of the same facts and these perceptions are VALID BECAUSE it is WE that individually have them. Our being aware of societal "issues" that concern us leads to those issues being evaluated and acted upon by others - the result may not be one that each of us agree with or support BUT something was done regarding a symptom of an overall problem that was noticed rather than a continued malaise of avoidance and "head-buried-in-the-sand" complex. I would listen to more of your thoughts if you would care to share them - here or via a WC message ...anytime.

[Ruby Heggie (PB Jacobs)]

I'll pop in, from time to time, Chris... You might wanna get the little b***h gossip from Xuru, if you didn't, already...

[Jimmy Yetts]

Knew belly-achin' hunger when I was a kid.
Was "called out," many a time--in front of my classmates--for not having the money to purchase necessary school supplies. My family rarely got help from anyone. Our divorced mom probably wouldn't have taken it, anyway.
Those, I guess, were different days.
Your last few lines very nicely complete the story.

[Chris]

They weren't so very different for each of us after all - were they? But somehow we ALWAYS hope they would be ...different in our now. Hi man.

[Linda Marie Van Tassell]

This made me think of two things:

1. The USMC Toys for Tots Campaign - We never celebrated Christmas when I was growing up. One year though, my youngest sister expected gifts from Santa; but Santa didn't visit our poor side of town. So my mother decides to sign up for and get toys from the Toys for Tots campaign, dragging me along with her because she was too embarrassed to go by herself. The toys were lined up on the floor, row after row. I felt like a pauper being there to collect toys that weren't for me. My mother would pick up this or that, show it to me, asking me if I liked it, talking to me to avoid her own embarrassment, hoping others would feel happy seeing a child there to collect toys that Santa left behind.

2. Mr. Viar - He was a neighbor who lived across the street, widowed, and living alone with his miniature dachshund. He was such a frail man, and I always felt so bad that he was all alone. I would collect his mail and carry it to his door and sit to chat with him for a while. He always seemed to appreciate the company as did I.

I can relate to being poor. I don't recall ever having new clothes. Clothes always came by way of donations to the Salvation Army or hand-me-downs from other parents.

[Chris]

"Semper Fi."

We CAN let our lives shape us... or make us ...or forge us.

[Linda Marie Van Tassell]

My one biggest regret in life … not going into the USMC. I was in ROTC in high school, took the physical and passed, took the written test and passed, and was set and ready to go. All I needed to do was take that last oath.

[Chris]

11 years and a gunny ...chuckling here. Life as we live it. "Interesting" times. Walked the wide world - literally.

[Linda Marie Van Tassell]

Yes, interesting, each day a stepping stone to the next, with no stone left unturned.

[Chris]

A lot of "stones" get "passed-over" ...sightlessly ...mainly because they weren't the one in focus or intent.

[Linda Marie Van Tassell]

Somehow I hear Garth Brooks singing in my ear:

"Sometimes I thank God for unanswered prayers
Remember when you're talkin' to the man upstairs
That just because he doesn't answer doesn't mean he don't care
Some of God's greatest gifts are unanswered prayers"

[Chris]

Chuckling here... He DOES have a "way" doesn't He.

[Linda]

Hey Chris, you have unknowingly tapped into my psyche, as I walk past some of the have-nots of our society, every day. Every day, I feel shamed. Sometimes I give money, sometimes I give a sandwich, but I still feel shamed. L.

[Chris]

Some of those "have-nots" made more a week than I did - though others truly needed the help. I really was speaking toward the kids though - they "learned" their charity first hand - justified or not - and still do.

[Intothemilkyway]

Daily mundane life of every one of us.
Really expressed well what you needed to say.
Enjoyed reading this and being taken back in time.
Sure life isn't easy, it's a road of bumps head but with many joys.
Sometimes we continue just to see what is going to happen next.
But is that so exciting itself?

[Dr. YumnaKay]

This is a brilliant take on the subject of charity, in my opinion. From the part of world, I live in, free food is just like a dream, even in schools, 'cause it's quite a business around here to sell food items at higher prices, sadly. As for charity, I agree to what you say. Another aspect that I've seen here is that people donate in charity to become prominent in the society and not really out of compassion. 'what and how we give' is definitely the key point, and which is often neglected.

Thank you for writing this piece, Chris. This one needs to be read by more people...

[barleygirl]

I relate to everything you're saying here & I like how you say it in a conversational way, not a preachy way. You do a great job of SHOWING instead of lecturing. You show what earnest charity looks & feels like, compared to doing it out of obligation. I get the feeling this is meant to kinda shame someone into being more genuinely charitable, however you never really state your cause or your point or your intention in writing this. In the realm of persuasive writing, this piece could do well with more clarity on what exactly you are suggesting people do or think or feel. But then again, I also can see the beauty in NOT doing that, just SHOWING & hoping the reader will get a clue (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

[Chris]

"You CAN lead a horse..." as the saying goes. Most publicized charity work I've seen today IS done with a sense of shaming - even down to self shaming. And yet some people reach out on their own as best they can without a second thought...

[barleygirl]

I volunteered at two animal shelters for 6 years becuz I loved what I was doing. That's how it's gotta be, if you expect to stick to something like volunteering!

[Lea Sheryn]

Well stated and very true, every word of it!

[Chris]

Sigh... and THAT is exactly where the problem lay. The world needn't be such a cold and mean place that our media fostered fears make it out to be.Bad does happen but so does good.

[Lea Sheryn]

It seems the media concentrates more on the bad than the good. It should be pointed out.

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Powerful and passionately put! There is anger and resentment mixed with true compassion in this 'expose' Chris. As a child I had free school meals and it was like having the plague. It was demeaning and embarrassing but we ate. In the UK too many are also using 'Food Banks'. What a misnomer it aint like HSBC you know. There are few who go into a bank feeling at rock bottom, humiliated and desperate and so far I don't know of any food bank heists!

[Terra]

This is one of the aspects of living in a small town that is appealing to me. I work in public education, so I witness families with financial struggles on an almost day-to-day basis. However, our community is really good about coming together to help out families who are struggling whether it be due to losses in a fire, medical expenses, inability to purchase school supplies or clothes, etc. It is hard sometimes because we are not a particularly affluent town, but the general attitude is that we will do our best to help our neighbors any way we can.

You are right about how begrudgingly offered charity is demeaning. I have never experienced anyone who was proud of the fact that they needed help in being able to afford food or basic necessities for their family. I know people that refuse to give anything to the homeless because Dateline aired a special like two decades ago were professional panhandlers were driving away from their corners in Mercedes; therefore, people got it in their heads that most people down on their luck are actually con artists. I myself cannot allow the manipulation of a few deter me from helping those truly in need.

You have asserted excellent, noteworthy points.

[Chris]

Life as we live it...