Killed by The Train

Killed by The Train

A Poem by Andrew Nelson Stewart
"

The random feelings of sadness especially in your favorite seat on a hypothetical everyday day train as it compares losing someone dear to the heart.

"

I've lost the meaning of waking up each morning and I miss you. 


 Those haunting moments, the aesthetic umbrella waiting for an answer 

     like a flower never shedding a petal. 

  Those long streets of windows 

      reflections of a younger me. 


Then breaking up my bones in surreal pits filled with guilt

with regrets as it was a way out of suffering. 


Nowadays I stare at old fashioned waves crashing in different times and in different ways. Everything had the same appeal, nothing different, only the wind kissing my hands as it was meant to keep the cold away. The only warmth I had is now gone.


                               Forgetting wings forgiving pain 

     writing the pain away in layers of smoke 

                          blur my eyes when I need to see, not feel anymore. 


       Give me a real reason to want to die and not live for it. 


          I only know the rain never screams but sometimes I believe it does tapping the windows in unsteady reverence, I only know pain seeking my strength for battles left ahead and I point. 


                Stillness fills the air 

     As everyday hits me like a train. 




       


                               


© 2020 Andrew Nelson Stewart


Laurierose
Poet at heart. Romantic by nature. Nature the style. Styled by experiences. Experience this world that is my mind...
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Author's Note

Andrew Nelson Stewart
what does it mean to you

My Review

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Featured Review

This poem evokes feelings in me. Losing someone special can crush you. The impact like meeting a train head on. I reflected on my losses and relived them again and was reminded of really uncomfortable moments. You took me on a journey that I don't want to do again. That's good poetry for you.

Chris

Posted 3 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Andrew Nelson Stewart

3 Months Ago

I appreciate the kind words and thoughtful review. Yes losses are difficult yet you never get over i.. read more



Reviews

emotions, a lot of vivid emotions through out. I can sense hurt, with the rain that eases it or buries it, nicely written and expressed....

You're very talented.. I like your style

Posted 3 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Andrew Nelson Stewart

3 Months Ago

Yes hurt indeed, Thanks for your kind words and I sincerely appreciate it.
To me...

Comes a time when there IS no home to come home to... and that feeling of loss and lost is real. We invest our selves in life as we try best to live it. And nothing is fair nor forever ...except the missing at the end.

Posted 3 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

What an ending powerful and strong. Your poem has it all love, regret, pain, and sorrow. It oozes with heaviness. Excellent work and use of emotion.

Posted 3 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Andrew Nelson Stewart

3 Months Ago

Thanks for stopping by and giving me compliments :) My soul is heavy which is poetry is heavily need.. read more
I suppose the train symbolizes moving forward.
It's like life hits you smack on the head, but you still have to move on.
Maybe this is not a bad thing, every station is reflection but you still have to keep going.

Posted 3 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Andrew Nelson Stewart

3 Months Ago

I appreciate the review. Thanks for stopping by
The longer you live, the more you lose.
Devastating is the loss portrayed.
The stranded lover dies daily.
Impactful poetry, Andrew!

Posted 3 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Andrew Nelson Stewart

3 Months Ago

Beautiful review thanks for stopping by :)
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mou
First of all, I love the emerging of 'title' from poem's soil. You mentioned it only once (at the end) but it feels beautiful to reflect upon the title after reading it. Second, every word is so alive and straight from the heart (my favourite).
Repentance is really a haunting chapter. Sometimes, it becomes so weighty on future (or on an outlet from the past, at least). HEART TOUCHING WRITE! Love it.
mou.

Posted 3 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Andrew Nelson Stewart

3 Months Ago

Thank you for your review but I really appreciate bringing certain aspects of my poem to light. For .. read more
mou

3 Months Ago

You're welcome, friend :)
Your first stanza, has me pondering... oh but in a good way!
I am sitting here thinking about my past now.
This is a very well written write, enjoyed

Posted 3 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Andrew Nelson Stewart

3 Months Ago

I'm glad and its funny we are supposed to live our lives forward but it only makes sense when one is.. read more
Kari (Mousey)

3 Months Ago

we usually look at our hardships instead of the good. Why our brain works that way I don't know. We .. read more
Andrew Nelson Stewart

3 Months Ago

Because we became to self aware.. awareness is a view of reality free from ideas and judgments. It i.. read more
First of all, comparing life to a train ride is amazing. Roller coasters seem to be more common user in relationship to life, but a train ride really makes the experience settle into our hearts whereas a roller coaster ride goes over our head due to the high level of intensity. We would have no concept of the past if it wasn't for memory, which is something to think about when compared to our curiosity about the future which it's longing for something or someone no longer with us that gives birth at times to imagination or its close cousin the future. Many times many make the past their future and their present seems to go backwards instead of forward. We know the past. We don't know the future. I got this from your poem a lot. Maybe it's just me but I really enjoyed reading this. Tyfs

Posted 3 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Andrew Nelson Stewart

3 Months Ago

I was really concerned with beauty how it's hidden at times when one's looking back instead of forwa.. read more
good analogy, perhaps too good. it can feel like we've been run over by one barreling at us. we feel like things are out of control. those who are dear to us bring meaning to our lives. such a loss kills a part of us.

this verse hit me especially hard -

Those haunting moments, the aesthetic umbrella waiting for an answer
like a flower never shedding a petal.
Those long streets of windows
reflections of a younger me.

the last verse is hard-hitting as well -

Stillness fills the air
As everyday hits me like a train.

it has that helpless deer in the headlights feel.

ugh, deeply depressing, uncomfortable read beyond sad ... :)




Posted 3 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Andrew Nelson Stewart

3 Months Ago

Thanks I thought of trains and was feeling melancholy that raw emotion that you let run wild late at.. read more
This is exquisite writing! I love how you speak of losing someone to death & it sounds like NOTHING ELSE I've ever read (hard to be this original on a topic that's written about by millions!) I think I've had a bit of a struggle reading your abstract writing but this is not that at all. There's an abstract quality in that you always think way outside the dots in wildly expressive ways, but everything comes together to paint an intensely portrayed sense of oppressive loss. I haven't read you too much, as I recall, but this is a stand-out favorite from what I've read of you so far (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

Posted 3 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Andrew Nelson Stewart

3 Months Ago

As always Its a pleasure reading your insights and review. I do have a weird style of writing haha b.. read more

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13 Reviews
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Shelved in 1 Library
Added on October 30, 2020
Last Updated on October 30, 2020
Tags: life, nuances, saddness, sorrow, feelings, death, memories, train, Poetry

Author

Andrew Nelson Stewart
Andrew Nelson Stewart

Petaluma , CA



About
Im active in the Performing Arts, Currently known as the Petaluma Michael Jackson ( YouTube channel @ Andrwjacksonable). I'm cautious guy and dedicated to my work and values. I placed God and family i.. more..

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