I miss myself!

random thoughts ...

 

I miss my old self!
I miss who I really am
deep down within me
The one I fail to be,
and to show
since all too long now
Don't know if I'll ever
find it again
I probably buried
myself too deep down
within my soul
So there will perhaps
be not time enough
in this lifetime  to
dig deep enough to
find at least a piece
of it
Who knows what I'd
find along my way
of digging?
I suppose I'd need to
dig through a lot of
new and old memories.
A painful and hurtful
part it can be
at some places
Also wonderful moments
I'd be lucky to rejoice
in again for sure
Which will make me
smile and happy,
and then sad for they
are over and never
to come back
Where am I?
What can I do to find
myself again?
Should I print out
my portrait on a
'Wanted' form, and
stick it on every 
detail within me?
Perhaps there'd be a
soul somewhere deep
down who will recognise
itself and shout out
to me
"Listen, you found me! -
Your lost self! -
Here I am! - Happy you
found me in this turmoil!
Want me to come back?!?"
What then? What am I
to do then?
Should I open up
to its return?
Should I gratefully
accept its offer, and
risk it to disturb my
already somewhat lost
inner peace?
Or could it eventually
settle down my troubled
being?
Although - I have a lot
of time to think about
the right choice to make
There's a long road

to travel to perhaps,
with lots of luck
stumble upon my self one day!

 

 

Reviews

[Emily Rose]

First off, I must compliment you on your first line. "I miss my old self" immediately made me think of "I celebrate myself" (the first line of Walt Whitman's "Song of Myself"), which was a really nice touch. It's very poignant and true - I think we all hope to "stumble upon our selves one day." The use of simple language really helps to get your point across, too - I like that you didn't do anything too elaborate.

I do have two critiques, however: The first quarter of your poem lacks punctuation, and thus it makes it hard to read an decipher. It also makes it feel a little juvenile since you start inserting punctuation later. I like the lost, broken feel in the first few stanzas, but you should recognize that that style is rather confusing for your reader, so you may want to help us out by giving us a few road signs in the form of commas and periods :-) Also, the line breaks seems a bit random at points. Sometimes it looks like you break up a line just for the sake of having it be in congruence with the lengths of the other lines, and that's a little odd. You might want to rework your line breaks for this reason.

Well done - you did a good job expressing a deep, metaphysical concept.

[KATHY SUE SILLS]

I REALLY LIKED THIS POEM! SOMEONE GOING DOWN A PATH OF TRYING TO FIND THEMSELVES, ONE WE OFTEN FACE! GOOD WRITE!

[just is]

Oh man I love this write, I loved teh opening part. This is amazing!! I truthfully liked this piece.

[TTBoy28]

I really like this thought provoking piece; telling of the journeys we possibly must take to find oneself. Once we think we've lost ourselves, I wonder if we can actually get back our exact selves. Very nice!

[.]

While it can be unnerving to walk the path while the self is drifting else where, i've found that the longest road is the wisest path. It allows us to find the wisdom we need to see the rocks, underwhich the clues to ourselves are hidden.

Lovely thoughts xD
- Ash

[Cyanthinnis]

I can relate to this completely. I have to agree with Emily though. It does lack punctuation. But I also know when emotional you don't usually bother with it. So kudos for posting this, and the emotions behind it was amazing. Thank you.

[wind whisperer.]

wow ...thought i wrote that .think my soul met yours somewhere in time . made me feel like you and i had walked in each others shoes .

[Yana]

Wow is all I can say. This means a lot!

[RainyDay]

Great work, as a first draft. I don't mean that in any deragatory sense, really. Just that the poem needs something more than feeling to keep you interested. I'm not going to lie and say I read the whole thing, because I didn't- I got bored in the middle.

If you do anything to change this poem, first say it aloud. A poem may not rhyme, but it MUST flow. MUST MUST MUST. I don't know who people think they are imtiating with these bunches of sentences mashed together with all the skill of a low-class high-schooler's paragrah. Poetry is not something you dabble in to be different, to be indie, to be cool. It is an ART FORM. Get it into your head. Art means work, and trying and perfection, not jumbles of nothing. Because even though I read the words of your poem, in NO WAY did I FEEL them. Do you feel these words? Truly? Please be harsh on yourself-you will improve that way.

Put in emotion, put in flow, put in LIFE AND HEART. This idea has great potential.

[Naomi Montana Walsh]

I can totally relate to this and sometimes I see the old me just barely out of reach and sometimes I catch her for a moment and like a feral pet she tries to flee..but I'll tame her yet and I wish the same for you.. should she ever come close be still as not to scare her away.

[BABSIE BEE]

I love this poem. I can relate as I have found the real me only in the past 2 years and it is difficult still being the old me!! Sounds nuts eh ?? I can understand wanting to be the new "you" forever but circumstances get in the way. It's all a juggle really....a bit of both...wondering which way to go for good.
Thanks for sharing and making me realise a lot.
Babsie Bee xx