I miss myself!

I miss myself!

A Poem by Angel Bird
"

random thoughts ...

"

 

I miss my old self!
I miss who I really am
deep down within me
The one I fail to be,
and to show
since all too long now
Don't know if I'll ever
find it again
I probably buried
myself too deep down
within my soul
So there will perhaps
be not time enough
in this lifetime  to
dig deep enough to
find at least a piece
of it
Who knows what I'd
find along my way
of digging?
I suppose I'd need to
dig through a lot of
new and old memories.
A painful and hurtful
part it can be
at some places
Also wonderful moments
I'd be lucky to rejoice
in again for sure
Which will make me
smile and happy,
and then sad for they
are over and never
to come back
Where am I?
What can I do to find
myself again?
Should I print out
my portrait on a
'Wanted' form, and
stick it on every 
detail within me?
Perhaps there'd be a
soul somewhere deep
down who will recognise
itself and shout out
to me
"Listen, you found me! -
Your lost self! -
Here I am! - Happy you
found me in this turmoil!
Want me to come back?!?"
What then? What am I
to do then?
Should I open up
to its return?
Should I gratefully
accept its offer, and
risk it to disturb my
already somewhat lost
inner peace?
Or could it eventually
settle down my troubled
being?
Although - I have a lot
of time to think about
the right choice to make
There's a long road

to travel to perhaps,
with lots of luck
stumble upon my self one day!

 

 

© 2008 Angel Bird


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First off, I must compliment you on your first line. "I miss my old self" immediately made me think of "I celebrate myself" (the first line of Walt Whitman's "Song of Myself"), which was a really nice touch. It's very poignant and true - I think we all hope to "stumble upon our selves one day." The use of simple language really helps to get your point across, too - I like that you didn't do anything too elaborate.

I do have two critiques, however: The first quarter of your poem lacks punctuation, and thus it makes it hard to read an decipher. It also makes it feel a little juvenile since you start inserting punctuation later. I like the lost, broken feel in the first few stanzas, but you should recognize that that style is rather confusing for your reader, so you may want to help us out by giving us a few road signs in the form of commas and periods :-) Also, the line breaks seems a bit random at points. Sometimes it looks like you break up a line just for the sake of having it be in congruence with the lengths of the other lines, and that's a little odd. You might want to rework your line breaks for this reason.

Well done - you did a good job expressing a deep, metaphysical concept.

Posted 14 Years Ago


5 of 5 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

Great write...we all lose the core self in time...wearing many different hats in our daily life. In the end of the day, we miss who we really are trying to get somewhere losing that very essence. I enjoyed this read. ~Ev

Posted 14 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.

I agree with Emily on the first line
I do miss my old self
I actually miss it right now
I wish I never left the old me
that actually became a new me

This was a great piece you have here
keep it up!

Orlando M


Posted 14 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.

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J
Ah Angel, your sweet self is shining in all that you do and say. If we try to conform to the rules of the world, it seems our souls take refuge within deeper depths to preserve our authenticity. But what I feel from you, dear friend, is a heart I would not trade ....... I still see you, dearest.

Heartfelt disclosure. Thank you for sharing. ;-)

xo j

Posted 14 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.

"I suppose I'd need to
dig through a lot of
new and old memories..."


You aren't lost... we are who we are based
on the our experiences. The turmoil will
pass, and the person that you have become
will emerge.. the old you no longer exists..
only this moment does..

that's my pov anyway.

I like the random writes... they reveal
our inner thought/struggle/self.

Nice work!


Posted 14 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.

Mostly I agree what Emily Rose said. I have a feeling that at some time in your life, whether current or past, you sincerely felt what you have written. (well of course you did) The first p[art is better than the second.

Finding our selves, whether we are completely aware of it, as to the nature of those plunged deep rocks in our lives' river, (or not) makes us: gives us: the feelings of not "having" the sensate depths. We want to always feel the deeper parts moving now don't we? I like your poem because it does try to really say what you are truly feeling. In poetry sincerity is all there is. thanks, raining

Posted 14 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.

I love your random thoughts; sometimes life can steal the very essence of self from our souls; until we are more like robotic creatures going about our programmed duties for the day. I know this feeling; been there. I have found some pieces and put them in their place; but so many more remain scattered still awaiting discovery. Look, now you've made me all introspective tonight lol. what you call random thoughts; I call a great write.



Posted 14 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.

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T
This poem made me think about me in the future. Conventional standards limits the way we live when we get older. I know I will definitely miss my old self. Good job!

Posted 14 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.

AMAZING!!! Just by reading the first line a million things come to mind. Not many people can write such a long poem and keep it constant and good but, you are definatly one of those few:) You used simple language which worked well for this poem. Al in all a brilliant read.

Posted 14 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.

*whistles* this was a long one...
nevertheless, i can certainly relate to this...i believe you hit every aspect of one losing him/herself. if this poem is about you, i hope you find yourself again, that is if you want to go back to that self. just don't let anyone dictate to you who you ought to be...i regained myself when i realised this. but once again, nice read...

Posted 14 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.

It's so easy to lose ourselves in this world when we get caught up in the hustle and bustle and try to follow societies standards... we must step back now and then and do what makes us happy then we are on our way to that home we call our soul... bravo on this write... I can relate!!

Posted 14 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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Added on June 19, 2008
Last Updated on July 2, 2008

Author

Angel Bird
Angel Bird

About
---While my pen tries to save the impossible, the truth is seeping through the ink... © 2010 Angel Bird --- No wall however thick will prevent my imaginati.. more..

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