I miss myself!

random thoughts ...

 

I miss my old self!
I miss who I really am
deep down within me
The one I fail to be,
and to show
since all too long now
Don't know if I'll ever
find it again
I probably buried
myself too deep down
within my soul
So there will perhaps
be not time enough
in this lifetime  to
dig deep enough to
find at least a piece
of it
Who knows what I'd
find along my way
of digging?
I suppose I'd need to
dig through a lot of
new and old memories.
A painful and hurtful
part it can be
at some places
Also wonderful moments
I'd be lucky to rejoice
in again for sure
Which will make me
smile and happy,
and then sad for they
are over and never
to come back
Where am I?
What can I do to find
myself again?
Should I print out
my portrait on a
'Wanted' form, and
stick it on every 
detail within me?
Perhaps there'd be a
soul somewhere deep
down who will recognise
itself and shout out
to me
"Listen, you found me! -
Your lost self! -
Here I am! - Happy you
found me in this turmoil!
Want me to come back?!?"
What then? What am I
to do then?
Should I open up
to its return?
Should I gratefully
accept its offer, and
risk it to disturb my
already somewhat lost
inner peace?
Or could it eventually
settle down my troubled
being?
Although - I have a lot
of time to think about
the right choice to make
There's a long road

to travel to perhaps,
with lots of luck
stumble upon my self one day!

 

 

Reviews

[Emily Rose]

First off, I must compliment you on your first line. "I miss my old self" immediately made me think of "I celebrate myself" (the first line of Walt Whitman's "Song of Myself"), which was a really nice touch. It's very poignant and true - I think we all hope to "stumble upon our selves one day." The use of simple language really helps to get your point across, too - I like that you didn't do anything too elaborate.

I do have two critiques, however: The first quarter of your poem lacks punctuation, and thus it makes it hard to read an decipher. It also makes it feel a little juvenile since you start inserting punctuation later. I like the lost, broken feel in the first few stanzas, but you should recognize that that style is rather confusing for your reader, so you may want to help us out by giving us a few road signs in the form of commas and periods :-) Also, the line breaks seems a bit random at points. Sometimes it looks like you break up a line just for the sake of having it be in congruence with the lengths of the other lines, and that's a little odd. You might want to rework your line breaks for this reason.

Well done - you did a good job expressing a deep, metaphysical concept.

[Joy C]

I love this!!! I feel like I had lost myself somewhere along the way too. I especially love the part about the wanted signs, so creative. The flow and rhythm is great, not awkward at all! You just followed where your thoughts went, right? I enjoy reading it.

[Emily B]

You will find the person you've lost. You'll find more, too. Travelling mercies to you.

[Siddartha Beth Pierce]

I really like the way you formatted this and the subject matter I can completely empathize with. Nicely expressed. Thank you.
Light,
Siddartha

[The Mad Prophet]

Reading this, and the format given I felt like I was going down a dugged hole. I felt like I was going down as your present that in the story. Certian part were even hard to squeeze past, but you managed. Thank you for sharing this lovely hole. I would like to climb my way up before my mind buries me down there.

[Astrid Hamilton]

A poem looking into oneself is very personal, so a reader can't really review-
(I always thought 'reviews' on poetry were never justice to the poet's heart, anyways)
But for grammar concerns, 'burried' should be 'buried',
and lucky is only wosdom.
=)

I like these thoughts of yours.
Everyone loses oneself at some time,
yes,
but the shadow is never far.